Attracted to married ex-gf!

[tanalfred]

Dear fellow samsters,

Life has been a little uneventful since my last encounter at the pool, until I happened to bump into my ex-gf at Raffles City. We subsequently met up a few more times. One thing is that she is now married. While we didn't talk much in detail about the past where we were together for a couple of years before parting due to some personal reasons, I could still sense the closeness. There was no ill-feelings about each other as we parted on mutual agreement. Recalling the times we were together just makes me feel like holding her in my arms again.

I can sense that she still feels very comfortable with me, opening up herself and sharing very personal stuff with me during those times we met. Her sex life isn't all that perky from what I can sense as they are both very busy executives, and I know she still likes that sensitive part of me which is absent in her present husband. Our meetings have always been at public eateries, and over lunch, which has time-constraint. Hence, we had often ended our chats relunctantly and sometimes abruptly too. I asked her if she was willing to take leave and spend some time together, and she vaguely agreed, but no concrete dates have been set.

I'm caught in a dilema now. We're at a point where I can sense we'd like to be a little more intimate. However, being intimate with her would mean she'll be unfaithful to her hubby. So what should I do?

Some advice would help. Thanks!

[tanalfred]

Oh gee... I trampled into the thread by "LonelyLad" entitled "How to bonk ex-wifes?". Seems to have some similarities to my case, but concluded that the ball is in her court and not mine.

I'm unattached and free, while she's tied down and probably unsatisfied.

[thaivisitor]

Bro, you are a nice guy. Remain one.

Don't do to others, what you don't want them to do to you. Imagine it's your wife. :cool:

Thaivisitor’s Annual Samsters Trip to Hatyai!

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[slippers]

how would you feel if someone asked about this regarding your gf or wife in future?
Even if she initiates something, i believe its two parties fault too.
Do not do unto others what you wouldn't want others to do to you. =)

[cbjuiceyumseng]

Bro, you are a nice guy. Remain one.

Don't do to others, what you don't want them to do to you. Imagine it's your wife. :cool:

Thaivisitor’s Annual Samsters Trip to Hatyai!

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Ya...TV is right. I know its damn tempting but...morally it is wrong...but leh.....nvm.

[casannova03]

hmmmm....very tempting....like what some bros have said its better to steer away..however being men, we cannot deny that sometimes our smaller head just takes control...maybe you can just go ahead but DO NOT get into a prolonged relationship as the hubby will sure find out one day ... i sense that you still have feelings for her...so maybe just get together for a once off rendevous and then explain to her that you do not want things to go out of control and then risk her happiness.....so long as her husband dun find out it wun hurt him....hmmmm very long opinion but hope it helps...Just my 3 cent's worth... ;)

[spider_j]

Sometimes the best and right path is the hardest path to take.

If you still feel attracted to her and her to you, I think the best thing is to cut off all contact whatsoever, that is, if you dun want to do anything wrong lah. I'm guessing since you parted on good terms, you won't want to fuck up things with her and her husband now right?

You wanna stay the 'nice guy' from her past, you should also try to stay away from her and provocative topics like her sex life lah. This kinda talk only stirs up emotions and memories that should be best left behind. Since you have both moved on, go on with your life. She can remain a nice memory and stay as such. Anybody can tell you that you shouldn't do anything with her, but the only person who can do anything about how you feel is yourself. SO do what you feel is right. I'm sure you know what that is. Nobody needs to tell you. What you are doing here is trying to get support for you NOT to do something bad.

But no matter whoever anybody says, the choice remains with you. Either you want to fuck her life up (and yours) or stay the hell away.

My personal belief is that once you part with someone, you shouldnt go back. Trust your initial decision that you have done the right thing. Live life looking forwards, not backwards. Lots of WLs as well as single girls out there to sate your sexual appetites.

I sincerely hope that you will make the right choice and have the strength to follow through.

:P

[joerush72]

well, as outsiders, all we can do is advise you.. the choice is ultimately yours.. however, do remember, that in proceeding ahead to fulfill your lust.. you might ultimately be condemned by society/relatives/friends and people who know you..

i agree with what bro spider has just said.. you should abstain from seeing her lest you want to risk getting condemned by everyone.. why not just pay $100 - 200 and go GL and get a WL if all you want is an intercourse? or go pubbing/clubbing and pick up a chick n progress with that relationship if you are looking for that "feeling" ?

[wankmehappy]

Oh gee... I trampled into the thread by "LonelyLad" entitled "How to bonk ex-wifes?". Seems to have some similarities to my case, but concluded that the ball is in her court and not mine.

I'm unattached and free, while she's tied down and probably unsatisfied.
bro, i can understand how you feel...used to be in your position...bump into my 1st love during a busy day in shenton way....exchange contact & manage to fix for dinner to do some catching up with her....think about 6 yrs ago when we broke up...1st, it was just a normal meal...we talk about how things have change & what have happen during these few yrs...suddenly, i have this very strong feeling that i still miss her...looking into her eyes...i know that she feels the same way too...btw she was married & im still single...just like you...aftertat appointment, we met up alot of times...feeling become stronger each times we meet...
things happen during 1 clubbing outing with her...we both have a few drinks & don't know how...we both ended up in her hse...that times, her hubby was out-station...the fire in us start to burn...it like wild fire...kisses & hugging....soon, we are both in our birth suit...she give me a real good bbbj....in return...i put in my best svc to her...we will both so high.....when i feel she is really for me, i ask her if she have any CD at hm & she pointed to the drawer...at that point of time....all actions STOP.....a pic of she & her hubby....senses of shames make us stop what we are doing...i feel so guity...
i know she felt that too...
end up...we didnt process on & i leave her hse...from then onward...both of us didn't contact one another anymore....
just week before chinese new year....i went to KK hospital to visit one of my relative...im with my GF during that time...just what...i saw my ex gf again...this time round...she is with her hubby...on her arm, was a newly born baby...like long lost fren...we intro both of us to our partners....hand shake was exchange...at that point of time...i know i did the right thing...we didnt carry on...i don't have that sense of guitiness in me...im happy that i can look straight at her hubby & baby....im happy to see that they are so happy with the new born....
at times i still think of her but this will be a dark secert in me...no more feeling of lust ....
i have share my real life experience with you....final call is still up to you...whether you want to be a man that can walk with your head high up or as low as ur chin touches your chest is up to you...it your life...just take it like a man if things goes wrong.....
cheers.......

[oldies]

Bro

You know when to make the U-turn and did the right thing at the right time.

Cool!

[l3atu]

I'm caught in a dilema now. We're at a point where I can sense we'd like to be a little more intimate. However, being intimate with her would mean she'll be unfaithful to her hubby. So what should I do?

Some advice would help. Thanks!

If one day u got caught by her hubby when u are having a date with her, it would do her marriage no good at all...u wan to see her have a broken marriage ? I guess not... ;)

[95-emperor]

I personally agree
I believe no guys wana their wife to betray them right.
So what goes around comes around...

Bro what you want is just sex and lsut and
their are so many other ways and sources

What you have is the past memories and I strong suggests you
should move on and look for other targets.

Although it is a no commitment affairs but what happens nxt time
you have a family and 1 day she bring a child and claims it is yours.
Or if one day you get caught by her husband and get involve ia a fight
and news soon spread to your friends/families/boss/ collegues
What will people think of you ? What type of person are you ?
YOu still have intergity ?
I believe you don't wish to see this happen right

It just my personal point of view..........
NEVER NEVER GET INVOLVE with a MARRIED Person.
;)

[japboy]

after reading dis thread, it sort of touched a sensitive cord in mi heart...

sum times ur small head screams a bit too loud 2 ignore but mi advice is not 2 turn back... mi motto is "Good horse dun eat grass on its route back".... :D

well, strong past feelings will surface once u n ur past get together again... n indeed it's so strong n powerful dat makes both think dat both of u r well together again n everything is rosy...

but once u r back together again, all d ills frm d past will surface as well... d way both felt unhappy abt each other n stuff like dat... :eek:

i think u will always feel smth special towards all ur past n do secretly longed 2 go back 2 d haydays... but both of u lost d opportunity 2 b together for goot n hence shld look forward n stay status quo.....

things will get very nasty very fast when things got discovered n i remembered one of mi frenz had dat kinda experience which i do not think u would wanna experience...

mi 2cents worth

[rahl]

Bro, my opinion is, you parted on good terms. But the next time you part, if you make a move on her now, may not be on good terms.

Dont dig a hole for yourself. There are still gals around who can give you that same comfort and closeness. Just takes time and opportunity.

Cheers.

[asdfghjkl]

yep.. better dun be a third party ler.. its bad..

[Eastpipper]

hmm...I know is very tempting lah,but bro,ppl is happily married(I assume),better dun break up ppl family,(wondered they gt kids)if gt kids lagi worst,better dun lah,but its up to you,we got no say,we only can "talk cock'" herekekeke
decision up to u to choose,gonna be responsible to all good & bad consequences as well,good luck!

[Wins88]

Bro, dun touch other people's wife lah. They may actually have a happy home. Just remember - what goes around comes around. Some guy tried to screw with my marriage simply because I was too busy with my business to "take care" of my wife for a few months. Really pissed me off. Still haven decided what to do with the asshole yet! I
n fact, any bros want 2 recommend what to do with the offender? Any suggestions?

[fixall]

Don't live with your past, don't screw with your present as it will affect your future. Lessons learnt from past prevent you from repeating mistakes and better yourself for the future. Your Ex has moved on with her life with someone she loves. If you love her, treat her as a friend and wish her a wonderful life with her hubby. Nothing good will come out being the third party. In the end, someone will suffer the accusation, shame and pain, not you but your Ex.

[asdfghjkl]

Still haven decided what to do with the asshole yet!

i wouldnt be surprised if its another samster here.. possible? :rolleyes:

[HauntedSex]

Dear fellow samsters,
Some advice would help. Thanks!

Bro Tanalfred,

Long time neder hear from u... seem like u not too good these days...

Bro, from all your posting, I can see that u r an emotional person, Fell in love in a double quick time. Unable to hold your feeling is your main weakness.I used to have this too until I been "kena" Left, right and centre... Become wiser now these days.

Do u really think that she is the right 'one' for u? or is just the past feeling came back and just want to rekindle those feeling?very difficult for me to judge as only u will know the answer.

Does she feel the same for u too? How's her feeling towards this relationship?
what is the reason behind the last breakoff btwn both of you? Has this problem solved? how's her feeling towards her husband? good or bad? you better hint her these questions before any further development of this relationship. Maybe it's just one-sided love(that's you). This will ensure u will not be 'hurt' again.

If everything turns out that both of u are falling in love again, and very very in love. My advise to u: Ask her to leave her husband and to be with u again. I maybe offended some bros here.(if yes,sorry) But still, True Love is difficult to find, and it's unlikely that it will come twice. and also, Love is selfish. rather wish her to be happy with someone else, I give her more happiness and love that 'someone' could gave. It maybe wrong to 'snatch' someone's wife but it is wrong to fight for your true love?? We are now living in a new era - no perm job,no more money-making lobangs,no long lasting, happy-ever-after kind of bullshit!!

Just sharing my 2 cents' worth of advice, peace...
HauntedSex

[OceanEleven]

It's the human nature, the grass on the other side is always greener. Memories are best kept remembered, not relive it again. :)

[t123]

It's the human nature, the grass on the other side is always greener. Memories are best kept remembered, not relive it again. :)

I second your thoughts but I can't up your rep now. :D

[kukujiao]

yeah man, imagine ur wife having sex with another man every night. Do you want that to happen? dunbe selffish lah, think for others

[cashlove]

at that point of time...i know i did the right thing...we didnt carry on...i don't have that sense of guitiness in me...im happy that i can look straight at her hubby & baby....im happy to see that they are so happy with the new born....



Clap Clap, Bravo!!! :)

[wankmehappy]

Clap Clap, Bravo!!! :)
kekeke...10Q bro love...just sharing experience...this is what the forum about....happy bonking......
happyme :D

[BigGuy]

OK me sure kana hatam by this posting.....

my thoughts differ from many of you guys......it takes to hands to clap b it the person u screw is a bf/gf to someone or even husband/wife too.....the fact lust lies in us and we can say wrong to do this n that.....

Allow me to put some scenarios:

1) you happen to meet a er while clubbing.....went to bed and after awhile u learnt she had a bf.....wud u still continue to screw her if she wants? wud u do it w an xcus like well she is not married?

2) you happen to bump onto a lonely ger/wife w unsatisfied sex life.....wud u do it?

3) u have a gf.....not sure if u wud marry her.....wud u refrain from screwing her? wud u do it simply u think u have the rite as a bf/gf?????

Flame as mush as we want....but the logically we won't be able to say right or wrong.....if it happens it happens lor.....BE IT A GER OR WIFE!!!!!!

[lawry]

OK me sure kana hatam by this posting.....
well, in this world.. things really "what goes around, comes around"

if u dont know.. fine... if u know.. better reframe urself..

chinese says (bu zhi zhe wu zhui)

BG, if u have a very chio gf... vivian hsu lookalike... but her ex is ur good friend.. and one day ur good friend told u, hey.. ur gal and i slept... cause i can satisfy her better, and we miss our old time very much... u ok with it?

confirm u wont hantam ur good friend?? and u will say.. this kind of things i understand.. cause i sleep with other ppl's gf or wife before.. i forgive u..

[BigGuy]

well, in this world.. things really "what goes around, comes around"

if u dont know.. fine... if u know.. better reframe urself..

chinese says (bu zhi zhe wu zhui)

BG, if u have a very chio gf... vivian hsu lookalike... but her ex is ur good friend.. and one day ur good friend told u, hey.. ur gal and i slept... cause i can satisfy her better, and we miss our old time very much... u ok with it?

confirm u wont hantam ur good friend?? and u will say.. this kind of things i understand.. cause i sleep with other ppl's gf or wife before.. i forgive u..

agree w u bro.......but then in real life do u really bother......i for 1 wun bother so much lor.....so as u read my post.....we can talk about morality.....but unless my practise is only bonking by paid sex then i rest my case if not to each his her own lor.......Fair?

[lawry]

agree w u bro.......but then in real life do u really bother......i for 1 wun bother so much lor.....so as u read my post.....we can talk about morality.....but unless my practise is only bonking by paid sex then i rest my case if not to each his her own lor.......Fair?
true lah brudder, (first to note.. only discussion hor.. not picking on u or watever.... peace.. talk talk only... stress first)

morality.. hmm a difficult and tuff word..

i am saying.. of course if u cheong.. DB/MS/CB.. u get to know this gal.. have fun sleep.. fine.. status dont know its ok.. its like wat i mention (if u dont know, u are not to blame) but if there is this gal u already know is married, would u? just like, if u have a gf, and i secretly go behind ur back and screw ur gal.. or if i have a gf.. u secretly go behind my back and screw her. both of us wont be happy. cause the fact is we know..

but if my gal or ur gal go clubbing.. and if you or me so happen to hook her up and if we happen to sleep either one of them.. without knowing that they are attached/married.. its fine..

[BigGuy]

true lah brudder, (first to note.. only discussion hor.. not picking on u or watever.... peace.. talk talk only... stress first)

morality.. hmm a difficult and tuff word..

i am saying.. of course if u cheong.. DB/MS/CB.. u get to know this gal.. have fun sleep.. fine.. status dont know its ok.. its like wat i mention (if u dont know, u are not to blame) but if there is this gal u already know is married, would u? just like, if u have a gf, and i secretly go behind ur back and screw ur gal.. or if i have a gf.. u secretly go behind my back and screw her. both of us wont be happy. cause the fact is we know..

but if my gal or ur gal go clubbing.. and if you or me so happen to hook her up and if we happen to sleep either one of them.. without knowing that they are attached/married.. its fine..


hey seasoned ppl like us talk w peace okie:)

i dun refute what u had say.....now say if u know n she chose to screw wud u pull back? there's a unwritten rule then we should not.....but again bro......in reality who cares......it has happen and will never stop to happen......

hahahaha....think a couple of buddies we know including me has gone thru this situation.....worst is the ppl screwing r not just from somewhere outside but w a few from the forum lor.....

Case close shall we????

[lawry]

hey seasoned ppl like us talk w peace okie:)

i dun refute what u had say.....now say if u know n she chose to screw wud u pull back? there's a unwritten rule then we should not.....but again bro......in reality who cares......it has happen and will never stop to happen......

hahahaha....think a couple of buddies we know including me has gone thru this situation.....worst is the ppl screwing r not just from somewhere outside but w a few from the forum lor.....

Case close shall we????hmmm.. i get to know who u mean.. pm u..

[casannova03]

all bros, what i think is that this type of issue is very subjective....what i meant in the earlier post of mine is that if we have to do it, let it be an unforgettable night of passion and forget about it altogether... i know a lot of bros will think otherwise of disagree but trust me.....it is very very hard to resist...bros who have been in this situation should know.

I am not saying that by going ahead is correct but then again what you deem right might be wrong to another person....so although we can give a lot of advice. it is still up to bro tanalfred to assess the situation based on real time and take his own course of action.

one thing for sure....all bros will support you no matter what you do!!!

[thaivisitor]

Allow me to put some scenarios:

1) you happen to meet a er while clubbing.....went to bed and after awhile u learnt she had a bf.....wud u still continue to screw her if she wants? wud u do it w an xcus like well she is not married?

2) you happen to bump onto a lonely ger/wife w unsatisfied sex life.....wud u do it?

3) u have a gf.....not sure if u wud marry her.....wud u refrain from screwing her? wud u do it simply u think u have the rite as a bf/gf?????


Scenario 1 says that "after a while", than you know of her background.

Scenario 2 says you "bump" onto a lonely ger/wife.

Scenario 3 says doing it with "your own gf."

None of your scenarios say doing it knowlingly with an ex-GF who is already married or meets with the same situation as bro tanalfred.

All in all, we're just giving our 2 cents worth not to do it but if bro tanalfred wants to go ahead, no ones's to stop him. If he can live with it, so be it. If he doesn't care should the ex GF and her hubby breaks off when he finds out, so be it.

There are different types of people which makes up this world. Some guys don't give a damn to others as long as it is not their heartaches. I mean, some guys don't even care if the girl commits suicide should her marriage breaks down.

Our advise to bro tanalfred is based on the undertanding from his past postings that he isn't the type of guy. Of course we could be wrong.

thaivisitor
Thaivisitor’s Annual Samsters Trip to Hatyai!

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[thaivisitor]

all bros, what i think is that this type of issue is very subjective....what i meant in the earlier post of mine is that if we have to do it, let it be an unforgettable night of passion and forget about it altogether... i know a lot of bros will think otherwise of disagree but trust me.....it is very very hard to resist...bros who have been in this situation should know.
I still meet up with my ex-wife. In fact, she employed me to work as her personal administrator for a period while I was "jobless". I drove her mercedes while she's outstation (half the time she's outstation) while her husband still takes the company transport to work. Sometimes I travel with her outstation too. She sent me for a 3 days course which her husband was attending where we sat together. BTW, her husband paid his own while she paid for mine. Does my ex-wife still love me? Yes she does. Do I still love her? You bet. But there was never a doubt in her husband's mind that we might have a secret affair, etc simply because, my ex-wife and I knows how to respect each other, and also respect our own selves. So before we even think of resisting, take a good look at ourselves and assess how much self resect we have first.


I am not saying that by going ahead is correct but then again what you deem right might be wrong to another person....so although we can give a lot of advice. it is still up to bro tanalfred to assess the situation based on real time and take his own course of action.
Let me assure you that if bros here feel that their advises to bro tanalfred not to going ahead to have an affair with his married ex-GF is right, I do not think anyone will come in and say the advises are wrong.


one thing for sure....all bros will support you no matter what you do!!!
Don't bet on that.


thaivisitor
Thaivisitor’s Annual Samsters Trip to Hatyai!

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[BigGuy]

Scenario 1 says that "after a while", than you know of her background.

Scenario 2 says you "bump" onto a lonely ger/wife.

Scenario 3 says doing it with "your own gf."

None of your scenarios say doing it knowlingly with an ex-GF who is already married or meets with the same situation as bro tanalfred.

All in all, we're just giving our 2 cents worth not to do it but if bro tanalfred wants to go ahead, no ones's to stop him. If he can live with it, so be it. If he doesn't care should the ex GF and her hubby breaks off when he finds out, so be it.

There are different types of people which makes up this world. Some guys don't give a damn to others as long as it is not their heartaches. I mean, some guys don't even care if the girl commits suicide should her marriage breaks down.

Our advise to bro tanalfred is based on the undertanding from his past postings that he isn't the type of guy. Of course we could be wrong.

thaivisitor
Thaivisitor’s Annual Samsters Trip to Hatyai!

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yap but to sum it all up, if you bump on to yr ex gf/wf who is attached or married but wud still want to sleep w u, wud u go ahead?

Personally I dun think of hard n fast rule as it lies simply on each individual. if one chose not to i applaud him/her. However if one chose to, I still respect it as individual's choice.

I try not to put it as right or wrong but just own choices lor. Cheers

[thaivisitor]

Personally I dun think of hard n fast rule as it lies simply on each individual. if one chose not to i applaud him/her.

i concur. :)

thaivisitor
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[BigGuy]

i concur. :)

thaivisitor
Thaivisitor’s Annual Samsters Trip to Hatyai!

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My respect to u too......

I have a good relationship w my ex-gf who is also happily married w kids.....showered me w expensive gifts and talk anything and everything under sun and could have gone to bed......but we respect each other too much to do that. So like we mentioned, it lies on each other and has no right and wrong.

Well w my other ex i dun think so much lor.....my worthless comment la:)

[guru888]

Bro, dun touch other people's wife lah. They may actually have a happy home. Just remember - what goes around comes around. Some guy tried to screw with my marriage simply because I was too busy with my business to "take care" of my wife for a few months. Really pissed me off. Still haven decided what to do with the asshole yet! I
n fact, any bros want 2 recommend what to do with the offender? Any suggestions?

Wins88, before you go blaming the other guy for everything, remember that your wife was a willing party too. If your wife resisted his advances, nothing would have come out of it. I do understand how you feel but please work things out with her first, make sure that she is still not seeing the other guy behind your back. If she is still unfaithful to you despite what had happened, my advise to you is to bail out immediatly, don't was time and experience unnecessary anguish over the relationship, afterall, if it can happen once, what makes you so sure it would not happen again. Can you guarantee 100% that it won't happen again? Just my advise, no hard feelings......

[casannova03]

hmmm....after much pondering i will have to say that bro thaivisitor is very right!
dun look at it as i change my mind very fast but after all i am still young and have not experience what some senior bros have gone thru. so all suggestions are based on my current experiences under my small belt....haha..i dunno if i would have the same self control if i were to get in such situations....haha :rolleyes:

[lawry]

all u guys should have watch desperate housewives and tell me how u guys feel.. the brazilian housewife having an affair with a kid.. sigh..

[thaivisitor]

Bro, dun touch other people's wife lah. They may actually have a happy home. Just remember - what goes around comes around. Some guy tried to screw with my marriage simply because I was too busy with my business to "take care" of my wife for a few months. Really pissed me off. Still haven decided what to do with the asshole yet! I
n fact, any bros want 2 recommend what to do with the offender? Any suggestions?
bro, I sympathise with you.

Much as I would like to advise you to beat the shit of of the guy, I can't since there will be legal or criminal repercussions.

So I can only advise you to bring your wife go and visit the guy in his home, in front of his family members, and ask him whether he's willing to marry your wife as you're going to divorce her. Hopefully, the guy is also married with kids. Even if he's not, make sure his parents are around.

Let's see how he answer in front of his family.

As for your wife, I don't know how you're going to deal with her. For me, if my wife betrays me, don't care how much I love her , kids or whatever.... she's history. Too bad if I'm an MCP.

thaivisitor
Thaivisitor’s Annual Samsters Trip to Hatyai!

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[tanalfred]

I'd like to thank all who have offered me advice. You have all been a great bunch to take time to listen to my question and providing me with constructive and mind-challenging thoughts. I admit that my flesh is weak and the memories of past closeness tempts.

To set the records straight, I do know her husband as he was her collegue. For all our meetings, she has informed him, and he is well aware. In fact, we bumped into him and his friends while we were walking from our meeting point to the restaurant for our lunch. They both work in Raffles City.

Regardless, I appreciate all your comments and I will abide by them to keep the friendship clean and alive, and while there remains the memories of good feelings of each other between my ex-gf and myself and while we silently know its special since we were each other's first love, life goes on.

Thanks!... and especially to a Samster who had private messaged me and shared a great deal which will remain in my mind to steer me from doing wrong. Thx!

:)