[Lucifypunk]

Hey, just to share my own personal experience.
I’ve never been married but I’ve been with a guy who has decided to cheat on me more than 5 times on different occasions.
And yes, I forgave him 5 times. No one approves of our relationship, none of my friends like him because of what he did, only our parents are oblivious to what went on between us.
The first time, not so bad.
But the more it happened, it destroyed every little bit of trust I had. I checked his phone, made sure he told me his passwords, doubted him many times etc
And as usual, he started getting defensive about it, saying that he wants his privacy, he felt I was being crazy and controlling yada yada.

It just wouldn’t be the same again, and I miss that. It hurt me, so bad. That I get nightmares time to time, and I start crying in my sleep.
I sometimes start thinking about it and start having a breakdown.

As a girlfriend, I don’t force any rules on him. In fact, he is allowed to find prostitutes or go for happy massages. I don’t ask for any material items or monies, I don’t demand anything except for honesty, and I don’t throw my temper at him. But what I can’t stand, and I’m sure most girls can’t, is cheating emotionally. It came to a point where he started sleeping over at the 3rd party’s house, meeting her parents etc. It broke me. And it didn’t happen just one time.

If you’re wondering why I forgave him, it was because I really do enjoy the good times with him. I have a big heart. Vulnerable, but full of forgiveness. But we all have our limits.
He woke the fuck up one day when I packed his clothes and left it outside my house. As much as his mistakes hurt me, I didn’t want to continue getting hurt over the same reasons again.

We didn’t see each other for about 5 months, then I decided to let him back into my life again. But all that hurt has built up my tolerance, now that I see myself deserving something more. And he is aware that I ain’t giving any more chances. Just because I was trying to make it perfect for me, I neglected my friends, affected my career, drifted from my family just cuz I stuck by him wherever he went. Now, I made it clear to him if he were to fuck up again, I won’t hesitate to kick him out cuz I’d put my career first and I’ll only share my success with him if by the time I achieve it, he is still next to me. As much as I want to believe that people can change bad habits, I don’t wanna be the one always sacrificing.

Currently we are still together, he sleeps over at my house every night, made sure we say goodnight to each other everyday, he decided to be open with his phone, and after awhile I don’t feel the need to look into it again(maybe once in a few months). He changed, but It won’t go back to how it was, but you can only hope that the bad won’t happen again, cuz there’s always a possibility people will go back to how they were.
I’ve known guys who continuously cheat their whole life, and also men who decide to commit when it’s time to grow the fuck up and focus on a long term relationship.