[bangstar]

Dear bros, thanks for your reply and advice.

Yes, I'm in my 30s, I have had 2 serious girlfriends in the past, but they never lasted more than 2 years.
I'm not a player, this is why when I was in BKK, I only dated like 3 thai girls on a more regular basis, and I didn't even up them. I just never felt like it... I would rather up FLs than regular girls, because I just believe that if they are nice girls, i shouldn't use them like meat. Not saying FLs are not nice girls, there are some FLs that are nice too, but you know, there's less baggage after the deed.

Yes, I'm trying to get over it. I'm just mad at myself for always fucking up so badly.
Every. Single. Time.

Every time I meet a nice girl, I will fuck up. I always think I'm some super genius or some smart guy, but turns out, I'm a moron...

I honestly wonder if I should even bother going out on dates any more...

I'm not the most handsome looking guy, but I'm also not ugly. I make decent money, I work hard, I am filial, I treat the girls I date really nice.

If this is how God wants to do for me then I've got nothing to say.

I am a lapsed Catholic, I don't go to church, I don't pray (often), but in my current situation, I really am leaving it to God's hands.

My only thoughts now is hopefully she doesn't accept that guy, and come valentine's day, which I actually already ordered flowers for her last month, before I propose to her.
She will reconsider, I don't need her to say yes, I just need her to say no to that guy...

Gah, sorry, I'm ranting again... Hope everyone will have a good day.

Thanks again for your advice, I think that's what I needed to power me through every day...