[ilikeoldchangke]

Calm is a nice word for slow according to my Dad.

He thinks I’m too slow with everything in life. I take ages to finish my plate of noodles or even a drink.

I’m not exactly slow, on the contrary, I’m actually quite athletic when it comes to sports but I like to take my time with everything. Just relax, and do it at my own pace, a pace that I’m comfortable with.

I just don’t display strong emotions, regardless if it’s happiness, sadness or anger as a child. My parents were pretty worried initially, sending me to doctors and therapists.

They suspected I’m autistic or something.


I know there’s nothing wrong with me though. I just like to take my time to think things through. Just like I can spend an hour in the arcade without spending a single token. I will just hold the tokens in my hand while watching other kids go through the game over and over again.

After I’m sure I have figured out the traps, the hidden secrets and where to get bonuses, then I will start playing. You can probably imagine my dad sitting by the side looking bored as fuck, wondering how long does it take for a kid to spend his $2 worth of arcade tokens.

When it comes to exams in school, when it’s a 2 hour paper, I will take the full 2 hours. It didn’t matter how easy or hard it is, I will take my time, pace myself, go through the paper once before I start attempting the questions.

Some of my classmates think I’m super chill. I’m that cool tall guy sitting at the back of the class that sees and knows everything but say nothing. I prefer to take in all the information quietly.


I know who is cheating in exams, who is passing who notes and of course, I know who has a crush on who.

Quite a few girls have crushes on me, when they don’t know me well that is.

The secret love notes, the hints and antics they do to get my attention. They did get my attention alright but attention does not equate to reaction for me.
A sweet girl passed me chocolate on valentines’ day once. She was standing there in her school uniform, cute ponytail and braces.
I would not mid dating her definitely. I accepted the chocolates and thanked her before calmly opening it in front of her. Since it’s a large box of chocolate, she gave it to me at the start of school when it’s mid day with temperature at 31 degrees, I offered to share with the rest of my classmates.

I mean can you imagine me keeping that box of chocolate under the desk till I get back home. It’s going to look like fudge. Since it’s a gift, in order to show her that I appreciate it, the best course of action would be to eat it right away isn’t it ?

It did not sit well with the girl at all and when a friend told me she is crying in the toilet, I decided to do something. I need to explain to her the reason why I share her gift.

I walked right into the girl’s toilet, stumbling into the crying girl who was changing midway, clad only in her bra and school skirt. She’s not alone, beside her are 4 other friends who were staring at me in shock in only their blouse and underwear. We just finished our physical education lesson and everyone is changing out of their sweaty clothes.

There was a 3 second delay before screams echoed throughout the bathroom.

I thought that was it but out from a cubicle came rushing out a relief teacher midway through her pad change. Swaddling like a duck with her pants around her knees, she screamed and threw her pouch at me.

Minutes later, I find myself in the principals’ office.

“Would you like to explain your actions Jerry ? “ The discipline master said.

“I was trying to explain myself to Peiling why I opened her box of chocolate to share with the other classmates.”

“Do you need to do that in the toilet?”

“I heard she was crying and I wanted her to stop. It didn’t occur to me that she was changing.” I said in a flat voice as more teachers filed into the office including the one with the unfortunate pad accident.


Needless to say, my actions did not sit well with the adults. However, despite the shouting and raised voices, I remained calm and just told them the truth. I just wanted Peiling to stop crying and I want to clear things up with her.

I was made to apologise to all my friends and the teacher involved. My parents were activated and you can just imagine the horror on their faces when it was made known to them what I did.

If that was not bad enough, my dad sat me down and tried to talk to me about growing up, hormones and the urges of men.


I sort of got famous in school after that but I’m still not the most notorious one. I overheard a teacher saying that at least I’m not as psycho as the kid that only completes half of his exam papers so he can sleep.

Despite the teasing from friends, both male and female alike, I remained nonchalant.
After a while, they just call me an emotionless man.

It’s ok with me though.


School days are a breeze for me all the way till Junior college. I don’t top the class but I’m always not far from the spot. There’s a couple of girls that I like in Junior college that I would love to date but they find me too boring. Too straight.
A friend once came to me and commented that I’m destined for a life of up and downs.
Ups when I keep my mouth shut, downs when I decided to say something inappropriate at the wrong time.

The most glorious moment in my life was the day I received a scholarship from the government. My friends say I’m literally set for life. This is the golden path to success in Singapore at least.


All I need to do, is to finish school, settle into a cushy job in the government sector and I can cruise my way to retirement. No worries about economic downturn, no worries about retrenchment. The only thing I need to keep in mind is to be obedient.

It’s as simple as that.

Be obedient.

Shut up and be obedient.

Listen to my superiors who like me, are scholars themselves. I’m going to be promoting at twice the speed compare to my peers and in no time, I will be looking at a condo, a car and probably a stash of spare cash.

Just be meek, act dumb and always praise the ideas of my bosses even if they are being an absolute dumbass.

“keep your damm mouth shut Jerry.” They said.

This is the scenarios my friends painted excitedly as I sipped my coffee quietly around the table.
Somehow, they are all more excited than me about my own future.

Seated around the table are friends I made during my army days, I could not help but applaud them at their imagination. They can probably write a book with the among of ideas they have as to how my career will be like twenty years down the road.


“Yes, yes, you guys can tell the future.” I said in jest at my buddy who I shared a bunk with for the past few years.

“You know I’m right Jerry, you just know I’m right.” He replied with a finger salute.

“ what about you ? You should be the one that is going to be cosy and all. Free uniform, free food, free lodging, free parking and… “

“Hey hey, you make it sound like I’m going to jail, I’m signed on with the army for fuck sake.” He gave me the finger and everyone around the table laughed.

Looking at my friends around the table, I feel a little sad that we only get to meet once a year now. Everyone is so busy with their own lives. Gone were the days we spent everyday with each other in the bunks and in the field. National service helped me opened up a little I guess.

I’m still boring according to my friends but they admitted they have seen much improvements over the years.

“And I still could not believe how calm you were when we were robbed at gun point in Thailand” my buddy commented, relating the story everyone heard a dozen times.


It was our day off after our training overseas and just as luck would have it, we were ambushed on our way back to the bus station. A group of thugs jumped out and demanded we follow them at gun point back to their place for a chat.

The leader of the group looked high as fuck too sniffing and wiping snot from his nose while holding the gun.

“And this fucker I tell you, he literally looked down the barrel of that gun and told the guy to take everything he wanted, but we’re not following them !”

My buddy shared among old laughter that he was about to piss in his pants as I shove the weapon aside gently and pulled out my wallet.

“He took out all the money and gave it to them but, but !” my buddy paused before saying that I kept 100 Baht in front of the guy robbing us because I told them we need to get on a bus back to camp.”

The group roared with laughter before my buddy added that the leader jabbed the gun in my stomach and said in accented English.

“what did you just say ? I asked you to follow us !!! ”

“And this dumb fuck here, haha, he just pushed the gun aside again before going in his dead tone voice.’ We can’t follow you, if we are not back in time, they will throw us into military prison.’ “

The entire table roared with laughter as I smiled at the story that came out without fail when we meet. My buddy went on to finish the story, adding that in the moment of confusion, the 2 of us just walked right past the group of thugs who started talking among themselves, arguing if they should care about the 2 of us going to prison.

“the best part of all ?” My buddy clutched his belly , trying to control his laugher. “ They forgot to rob me !”

Tears flowed around the table as everyone chuckled while other patrons of the café stared at us.

“ How the fuck do you do that Jerry ? “ My buddy asked.

I shrugged my shoulders and said I don’t know. I just told the truth in a way.


The lot of us said our goodbye and parted ways after a brotherly hug. There’s no telling when we would be able to meet again with everyone present. It’s going to get a lot harder to have everyone out at the same time as we grow older.

I guess this is part of growing up and moving on. The memories of all the crazy stuff we did will always be on my mind.

I would say National Service did me some good.

I made more friends during that 2 years compared to my schooling days.
Some of these friends are going overseas for their studies, some are relocating, some are starting work while a few others like me, have to contend with going back to school.

Fast forward a few years, I have to say my buddies are quite the fortune teller. I graduated 1st class and started work at a Nparks. The body that governs all the trees.

No kidding. Nparks.



NParks is responsible for enhancing and managing the urban ecosystems of which the government calls a "City in Nature". It is the lead agency for greenery, biodiversity conservation, and wildlife and animal health, welfare and management. They are also working closely with the community to enhance the quality of their living environment.

We manage more than over 350 parks and 3,347 hectares of nature reserves, the Singapore Botanic Gardens, Jurong Lake Gardens, Pulau Ubin and the Sisters' Islands Marine Park.

Ok, I know that sounds boring as fuck so I will just summarise.
I look at trees and plants the whole day and I get paid for it.

It’s as simple as that.

My office comes with one of the most beautiful view that money cannot buy on this island. I’m right smack in the middle of Botanic garden. Everyday, when I look out my window, I am greeted not by tall buildings and skyscrapers, but by the soothing green of trees older than the country itself.


Some of the trees are so beautiful that I can spend time just staring at them.
I love plants and nature, it’s the reason why I do what I do. I find spending time with plants to be less complicated than spending time with people.

There is this calming effect I cannot describe when I’m surrounded by plants.

I feel right at home.

And no, I don’t talk to the plants in case you are wondering.


Within 2 years of joining the company, I was promoted, and the increment and promotion kept coming. At 30 years old, I made manager. It’s mainly an office role and sometimes I give tours to foreign dignitaries. Most of the time I’m reviewing drawings and appeals by contractors and owners who wants to cut down trees near their site.