[ilikeoldchangke]

And I take extra pleasure to exert pain on the assholes who would go so far as to poison the trees just because they want to cut it down.

Oh don’t laugh. People like these do exists, alongside those who just went ahead and fall a 50 year old tree and pretended it’s not there in the first place.


Lodging wise, my parents and I stayed in an old cosy flat along Farrer road. I take a bus to work in the morning, and sometimes if the weather is good, I could jog back home.

All’s good on the financial front but when it comes to dating, I have no luck at all.
Absolutely no luck.


I tried dating apps, I joined match making programs and my mum even tried to matchmake me with her friends’ daughters. Nothing worked.

I’m not ugly or anything. I’m just boring.

Ok, boring may be an understatement, a better way to describe will be boring as fuck.

I can’t think of any interesting topic to keep a conversation going. I’m just not a good talker.

I remembered a first date with this girl Susanne at a nice café in town. She’s really pretty and she was wearing this low cut dress that showed off plenty of her ample assets. She was drawing the attention of all the men in the café but my eyes, my eyes were looking at the poor stalk of orchid the café cut and dumped into a small vase.


Looking at that orchid, I reckon it will not last the day. Needless to say, the date did not turn out well. Susanne thanked me for the cake and coffee before walking off. She never looked back.

She will probably remember this day as the day she spent with someone who found a dying orchid more interesting that she is.
Another date with a matchmaking company did not end up well too.

It was some speed dating thing that we do over lunch. When I entered the café, I could tell I was at the top of the list for the girls. Many of them made eye contact with me in a friendly manner. At 1.8m, I’m the tallest among the group of men present that day.


In terms of figure, I work out and run 3 times week at least and I swim every Sunday.
I’m tan, I’m sporty and an auntie once mistook me for a Korean actor.

I can Lee Min Ho my way into his fan club pretending I’m him probably if I wore a mask, do up my hair or something.


The dating and matchmaking attempt always start and end the same way. A strong start and a weak finish.

I mean girls see me and immediately get their hopes up. Once we start interacting, they get their hopes dashed.
There was a particularly memorable matchmaking session I attended in the afternoon.

After a general intro by the host who revealed that I work in a government agency, I could almost see the eyes of the girls in the room light up. Tall, good looking, stable job working in the civil service, how is this not husband material you tell me ?

However, all advantages I once had were gone the moment we started interacting.


It is at times like this I believe that god is fair.

You cannot have your cake and eat it too.

The man beside me is shorter and looks a little overweight but he is very humorous and witty. He made every girl laughed. Even I could not resist eavesdropping on what he’s saying.

He’s really good.

He’s a small business owner and I could see how well he will do in the future given his gift of the gab. He can sell and he’s selling himself really well to all the girls.

The guy on my left is thin and scrawny. He looks like the geek that nobody talks to in class but when he speaks, he oozes confidence and charisma. He’s a dentist too, free dental care for life if you choose him. He was confident enough to admit he is still staying with his parents at his age because there is plenty of space in the family home, which happens to be a stone throw down where the 1st Prime Minister of Singapore use to stay.


It’s not nice to judge people by the cover but one particular attendee looked like he don’t belonged the moment I laid eyes on him. He was the one that first caught my eye when I walked in, it’s impossible to miss him. With an arm full of tattoo and his hair recently dyed black, he looked like a loan shark or a debt collector. I could still see the signs of subtle gold streaks in his hair.

He’s about 1.7m, well-built and spots a 3cm scar below his chin.


I mean seriously, looking at this picture, you would expect that gangster to be at the bottom of the list for the room full of women holding executive jobs.

However, that tattooed man turned out to be a police inspector.
He revealed that the tattoos and blond hair was part of his job requirement in the recent past. However, he could not share more due to the sensitivity nature of his work.

He reassured the girls in the room that those are in the past. He has since started work in an office managing home team operations and he don’t think he can ever go back to his former adoptive organisation.

He said it in such a casual yet mysterious manner that I think a couple of girls who liked guys with a bad boy streak immediately put him to the top of the list.

That’s fucking James bond right there in the room. I could see one of the girls literally ogling at him, probably imagining the fun they can have with his handcuffs in the bedroom.


At the end of the 2 hour lunch, all the girls made their choices and I was the only guy that is left out.

I did not get any matches. I gave one word answer and offered nothing more than awkward silence.

I sort of expected this because beneath the good-looking shell my parents gave me, is a plain and boring individual.

And I have a secret.


I’m a virgin at 30 years old in this time and age. Can you believe that ?

I gave up trying to date and put my effort into work. The annual appraisals I receive is testament to my commitment to my work.

I’m a civil servant alright, but I’m one that works hard for very cent.
Not wanting to leech off my parents indefinitely, I also put down a deposit for a SOHO apartment just a stone throw away from my work place. Single, no commitments, I earn a relatively high income with decent bonus and, I invest in the stock market. This is what freedom smells like.


In 2018, at 32 with a career that can only go in one direction up, an apartment of my own, all I now lack is a car and what my friends predicted will come true.

Comfortably set to cruise my way to retirement. My bosses and colleagues love me, even those that don’t like me, don’t exactly hate me, you get what I’m saying?


To be honest, I was prepared to live my life quietly. Staying single gave me the flexibility to leave as and when I want when it comes to travelling. I quite like the idea of doing what I want, when I want.
I bring my parents overseas twice a year too, one short trip and one long trip.


I gave up hope that I would one day meet the girl of my dreams, fall deeply in love and have a fairy tale ending.

Why ?

Because it would be unfair that’s why. Life is always fair.


I’m already blessed as it is, I’m contented enough to leave the fairy tale ending to others.

Then something happened.

Something unbelievable.


……………………………………………………………………………….





2nd November 2018
Friday

It was a Friday evening and I have already knocked off work.


I changed into my jogging gear and went for my run around Botanic garden.
Taking the usual route, I go past symphony lake, making my way towards the Tembusu heritage tree. The tree you see in your 5 dollar bill.

I went all the way to the entrance at Cluny road before looping back.
Going to the left of swan lake, I heard the crack of distant thunder. Looking at my watch, I realised it’s 7pm and the lights along the park is not on yet.


The overcast skies turned the path I was on dark like someone pulled a curtain over it.
I continued running, not the least bothered by the dark or the impending thunderstorm.
I can literally cross the road back home form my office.


My mind was already thinking of dinner and a coffee by my balcony while watching the rain when I saw something absurd in front of me. I slowed down and blinked twice to just be sure I was not dreaming.


No I did not see a ghost or anything, I saw instead, a newspaper stand.

“what the hell ? “ I mumbled under my breath.

It’s a old school newspaper stand and the owner was trying to prop up his umbrella.


I walked over to his makeshift table and I saw an array of magazines and newspaper. He even carried some comics. Newspaper stand like these are almost extinct in the country, many of those that remained can only be found in older estates. You used to be able to drive up to a newspaper stand, wind down your window and get a copy from the gentlemen manning the table. Now they are all gone.


The man at the stand looked like a retiree in his sixties. After adjusting his umbrella, he took a sit on his plastic chair and tapped a cigarette out of the box.

What the hell is going on ?

There isn’t supposed to be a newspaper stand like this in the garden. And you are not supposed to smoke in the park too.


I went over to the man who blew a cloud of smoke into my face with complete disregard to the law.

“Hello Uncle, who gave you permission to set up a newspaper stand here ? And you are not supposed to smoke in the park, please put it out now.” I said while he gave me the nonchalant look.

I looked up and down the path I was on. We’re the only two around and I picked up a magazine. It’s solid, I can touch it, this is definitely not some illusion or anything.


“ Uncle, I’m talking to you, I am a staff here, I work here. You cannot set up a newspaper stand here. “ I repeated what I said in Chinese and Hokkien dialect but the old man just looked at me with a smile and continued smoking his cigarette.

Reaching for my phone, I was about to call security to get rid of this strange man when he called my name.

“Jerry, I’m just here to sell newspaper. I don’t mean no harm” He said.
I was speechless for a second and I looked at my running top.

I do have a name tag that I wear when I’m working but I was in my running attire.

How did he know my name ?


“ who are you ? and how do you know my name.?” I asked.

“ I’m just an old man selling newspaper Jerry.” He took a long drag of his cigarette and crossed his legs. Tapping the paper in front of him twice, he brought the fag back to his mouth without taking his eyes off me.

“I asked you, how do you know my name ? “

This is not funny.

A stranger appearing in the middle of the park selling newspaper. If my boss sees this, he will probably flip.

Tapping to the copy of his paper in front of him again, he old man repeated his earlier statement.


“I’m just a newspaper seller Jerry. Move along if you are not buying.”

I looked at the copy of newspaper. There is only 1 left.


I did not read the papers that day, but i just celebrated a colleagues’ birthday over lunch.