Quote:
Originally Posted by SeanTay
Hi Guys,
I don't know if this is the right place to post but I need serious and objective help please.
So about 1 year and 10 months ago, I got married to my now-wife. Thinking back, I already didn't feel confident about how the marriage will go. I was very hesitant before the wedding-ROM date, I wished I had called it off but relatives from afar and friends have already been invited. My wife back then also told me that she had a lot of fear and anxiety before the wedding.
There was a point before the marriage that she ran off for an overseas trip with her friend while in the midst of wedding preparation and saying to call it off, leaving me alone to deal with the mess.
We were not doing well even before the marriage but I tell myself it is because of her wedding anxiety and that things will get better after we get married. So i bit the bullet and went ahead. However things did not get better, and continued to agitate easily and I often feel picked on.
Earlier this year in April, we already started to separate and sleep in different bedrooms. We have tried marital counselling for many sessions (10?) and have decided that our marriage isn't working and are going to end it.
My dilemma is this: we have 2 options, either to annul or to divorce.
But to annul, we will suffer about 50k loss to HDB as we will have to surrender it back to HDB, good thing is we will be singles again and also the whole thing comes to a closure earlier.
The other option is to wait another 3.5 years to meet the minimum occupancy period of 5 years and sell it to open market. If we do this, the next 3.5 years she gets to stay in the current 5-rm flat, she does not have a place to go back to because her parents were also divorced. I have no intentions of staying here anymore because I'd like to move on and start afresh. There will likely be no loss, but it is a drag of another 3.5 years and at the end a divorcee..
Other info: I have been paying for the monthly installments since we got the house. I have also been paying for all the instalments of the electrical appliances, bills etc. We still owe my parents close to 20k in debt for the reno loan. I am 32 this year.
I know in the end I will need to depend on myself to come to a decision, but appreciate perspectives/questions from more angles so that I can come to the best resolution.
Thank you brothers.
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You have to rethink about your life, not too late at 32.but owing 20k at 32 is kinda wtf.
I say you wait for next 3.5yr and sell the house after that.
Have a written agreement with your current wife on terms since you 2 not going to be family anymore.
Rethink about your life... 32 should not have debt even by parents..