Quote:
Originally Posted by casannova03
hmmm interesting thread!! kudos to the thread starter!! was just contended to be a surfer till i saw this thread....haha y nevr ask bro lament to join in posting here he should be able to share some experience too haha!!
Anyway as mentioned in the earlier posts, it is 100% true that viet gals initially placed all their focus and attention on their family first. I too eperienced that and went thru some torrid time with my wifey due to this impt aspect.
However, after the birth of my baby, i went thru some bad patch and barely manage to survive ourself. During this period of time, i explain to my wife that for the past few occasions we were sending way too much money back to her family which were mainly for non-necessary things or reasons like buying new bike or handphone or whatever la!!
I pointed out to her that our cost of living here in Singapore is easily ten times or more than back in Vietnam and thats why they(her family ) have to learn how to live ten times lower the type of standard we have here. i am not being mean here by saying that they should just live like all the normal poor Viets. I mean i even built a 4-storey bungalow for her so you can see that i dun save on necessary things like a big house for her big family. But the thing is they DO NOT work and all they do is enjoy sit back relax and wait for "payday" sometimes twice monthly!!! where to find such a job????!!!
I told her that buy accomadating her family's requests, we aare in fact sending them a wrong msg that they can get whatever they want. all they have to do is to call and nag a few times and they will get it. So i told her we have to change it slowly but surely...
She saw my point and where i was coming from and till now we are slowly changing her family's spending habit. We only give back enough to pay the bills and for sufficient food. All luxury spending were stopped or rejected. Because my wife told them i was out of job and had to pay back compensation of over 80k sing dollars!! Guessed they saw the severity of the situation although it was not really that bad la...haha..
Now i implanted the idea of being self sufficient to my wofe who in turn told her family that. Some money have been sent back to start some small business like repairing motor and what naught. They cannot get rich but at least they are self sufficient and whatever they need they have to learn to save and get it themselves now...AND this definitely has lifted a HELL lot of pressure off me now..
well the situation is definitely getting better now.....gonna go back and check on where my money is being spent this chinese year haha...no la seriously its to bring my baby back to visit grandparents la
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Any bro going back????
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I am happy to find one more bro sharing his experience about Vietnamese spouse. I too share the same tactic. My wife have been telling her family that our business is not doing well and we are very very tight financially. We feel that its better to let the family feel that we are poor, maybe poorer than them, so that they will not keep asking us for financial aid. Like that was said, they do not work and just wait there for PAY DAY. If got such good job, i also want.
About going back for New year, not me.... at least for this and next year. Maybe wait till 2009.