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#1
16-05-2013, 01:40 PM
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Ruler Loong pleased with No Porn's Lui latest revenue gantries
An honorable member of the Coffee Shop Has Just Posted the Following:
Transmodified from http://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/...14/676834.html PEASANTPORE: Under the guise to ease traffic congestion, the Ayer Rajah Expressway will have four more revenue generating ERP gantries come mid-2014. Three new gantries towards the city between ghost business district Jurong Town Hall Road and peasant heartland Clementi Road will be erected to punish and tax peasant drivers during the morning and evening peak hours on weekdays. The Land Transport Arses said that No Porn Lui, anxious to meet his KPIs proposed the new gantries to fund Ho Jinx's investment aka 'gambling' sprees overseas. Using Quantum Mechanics, No Porn Lui, following his pastor's advice, claimed over the 18 full moons, traffic speeds at both locations have dipped below the speed of light. This is just a lame excuse to build new gantries. Yet nobody asked No Porn Lui what will happen if traffic conditions 'improved'. LTArses said it will announce the operating hours and charges grassroot lackeys want time to assess political impact for regime during the 2016 Erections. LTArses said peasants who wish to avoid paying the ERP charges join the jam at alternative routes including, namely the West Coast Highway and Commonwealth Avenue-Tiong Bahru Road corridor and foul up the air along those roads. Lackeys hinted there will be no significant public transport alternatives in the west as SMRT has their hands full fixing the collapsing train infrastructure. However from the third quarter of 2013, peasants in Jurong West will have a City Sardine Packed bus service during peak hours. This bus service helps peasants stay close together and smell their counterparts' armpits using sardine bus packing at with premium fares. Perverts, bapoks and molesters welcome the news of the new sardine packed city direct bus services. It is understood that the same groups of perverts are also lobbying LTArses for another similar sardine packed service from Clementi. Click here to view the whole thread at www.sammyboy.com. 
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