Divorce to be with Gf

[rainmaker1]

Originally Posted by Rainier

I don't know why, but that statement made me profoundly sad.
Not so much if she still loves you but that you believe she doesn't anymore.
Are you both too busy, tired, maybe jaded ?

Is it still possible for you 2 to make a simple trip together, just the 2 of you ?
Does she not have any reactions when she sees that you are dejected or tired ?
How do you feel when you see that she is dejected or tired ?

A bro said it right, the gf is not a factor to be considered regarding if you should remain married.
We don't know what your daily life is like, but is it bad ?

She said so herself. Asked to try to make it work, she says not possible to go back to the past.

I would say married in name only.

Cannot say life is bad. It is just living day to day.
If contented to live like this for the rest of your life, there will be no push factor to divorce.

[rainmaker1]

Originally Posted by benjm85

Hi bro, same situation as you. In dilemma too, got kids so not so straightforward for me.
I ask myself if I do not have a gf, would i still divorce? The answer is no.
But i also feel let down for my gf, who has been by my side all these while.

I am sure the gf feels let down. Just that she does not say. If anything happens, she does not want to be the one that caused it. She definitely wishes to be the wife. Just that she appeared too late.

[Rainier]

Originally Posted by rainmaker1

She said so herself. Asked to try to make it work, she says not possible to go back to the past.

So, something happened then, not a over time jaded, drifted apart thing.

Depends if you want to give it a shot and try, regardless of what she says.
Only you know your circumstance/situation well enough.

[BushTracker]

Have you tried marriage counseling. At least give it a try. If after that still cannot find common ground, at least with the help of the councillor, you can find a solution forward that is best for the kids.

I have not seen a well adjusted kid from divorce family, despite what TV portrait, my own included. And I divorced when he was in his early 20s.

[Marmots]

Altho both issues are not related, you have to choose to split with one.

Either the wife or gf.
The gf is being strung along, with unknown potential of knowing what will happen.

But, don't do the split with wife to marry gf.
At least 2-3 years if split with wife, then consider marriage.

imho.