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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.

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  #16  
Old 25-09-2022, 10:33 PM
Penguin23 Penguin23 is offline
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Thumbs up Re: Advice - liking someone I shouldn’t

Quote:
Originally Posted by larue View Post
It’s not a matter of hope. It is a matter of will.
Well said!
  #17  
Old 27-09-2022, 12:16 AM
shiroi shiroi is offline
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Re: Advice - liking someone I shouldn’t

If she was in the Fl before , providing sex for money .then i tell you she 99% still got other man looking for her. Might keep in contact with a few man . Those man might fly to turkeys to find her just like you .

Work in another industry, does not mean she not provided sex for money with other close contact guy . Just like one of them is you.

When you go over there , did you give her money? If free then good for you
  #18  
Old 27-09-2022, 02:58 AM
nkyc nkyc is offline
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Re: Advice - liking someone I shouldn’t

Wow turkey FL.... Personal advise, blood thicker than water, family is mort impt.

Maybe good to really examine whether the issue can be solved by finding other outlets of de-stress ba

I notice that if u can travel to turkey to find an ex FL without triggering anything with your wife there is value to keep this wife la
  #19  
Old 28-09-2022, 02:40 PM
Wingor Wingor is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shiroi View Post
If she was in the Fl before , providing sex for money .then i tell you she 99% still got other man looking for her. Might keep in contact with a few man . Those man might fly to turkeys to find her just like you .

Work in another industry, does not mean she not provided sex for money with other close contact guy . Just like one of them is you.

When you go over there , did you give her money? If free then good for you
I didn’t exactly gave her money but whenever we met up for meals, I paid for them. I also gave her some of my remaining Turkish Lira wirth about few hundred sgd before I left as I wasn’t sure I will be returning to Turkey again. But u maybe right too. I will not know if she’s keeping in touch with other men too as well.
  #20  
Old 28-09-2022, 02:43 PM
Wingor Wingor is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nkyc View Post
Wow turkey FL.... Personal advise, blood thicker than water, family is mort impt.

Maybe good to really examine whether the issue can be solved by finding other outlets of de-stress ba

I notice that if u can travel to turkey to find an ex FL without triggering anything with your wife there is value to keep this wife la
She’s not Turkish just happened to be based there now with her own biz which she’s doing with her cousin. But u r right, I shouldn’t be overlooking my wife’s values too…
  #21  
Old 05-10-2022, 07:39 PM
basicfun basicfun is offline
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Re: Advice - liking someone I shouldn’t

move on , dont spoil your life
  #22  
Old 05-10-2022, 08:01 PM
hotbasin hotbasin is offline
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Re: Advice - liking someone I shouldn’t

just have sex thats all, dont be emotionally attached
  #23  
Old 06-10-2022, 09:54 AM
Wingor Wingor is offline
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Re: Advice - liking someone I shouldn’t

Thanks for all the advice…I do try to get my mind off her by turning my attention to the other okt’s gals here but somehow I did not enjoy the sex as much as I had with her. Guess it will take some time.
  #24  
Old 06-10-2022, 12:29 PM
chaoslord chaoslord is offline
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Re: Advice - liking someone I shouldn’t

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

She lives in a foreign land - no matter how good it was distance more so than anything else (another guy / lost of interest etc) is the biggest killer.

Divorce is very expensive in Singapore. There is simply no getting around to it. Sacrificing your partner AND half your wealth for a person half a world away makes no sense to me. Even if the person is here it is highly debatable.

We engage FL for sex and the relationship should stop and end at sex. As long as she treats you like the most wonderful thing on earth during that 2-3 hours, that's all you can ask for. Outside of this 2-3 hours, she has her own life and it is her prerogative to have as many guys as she wants. Understand that concept and you can attain first among equals status which is the best outcome for FL type relationships.
  #25  
Old 07-10-2022, 08:49 PM
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kwaychup kwaychup is offline
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Re: Advice - liking someone I shouldn’t

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wingor View Post
You are right…I shouldn’t be destroying my marriage and family just because I am chasing to reignite that spark…I guess all relationships are the same…starting off like wild fire and the fire started to die down along with any sparks after you’ve been with that person for a long time, along with that passion…I guess that is also why we are here seeking for comfort and pleasure from others…but I need to really detach that emotion, which somehow just crept in
well for starters, when people get settled down and get married, the relationships changes from that red hot fiery love into kinship, there is still love involved but surely it's not the same as last time. Now you look at your wife as a family member.
From your posts, i think you have sunk too deep and you, yourself know it very well.
What kind of emotions you get when you think of her? is it the best you had?
You need be in a very rational state of mind when you need to get people out of your head.
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  #26  
Old 18-10-2022, 03:38 PM
dromad68 dromad68 is offline
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Re: Advice - liking someone I shouldn’t

Go for it lah. Don’t have to get divorced if the FL doesn’t mind.

You want to continue to treat your wife right because she rightly deserves to be treated well. She stuck with you for many years and made a family with you and probably is the one who looked after you. You probably feel that she has not done anything wrong to deserve a divorce. And you are right.

This is life. George Lam 林子祥 has a song about this 最爱是谁. You thought you would grow old with your wife but you also feel you want more out of life than just having a lifelong roommate. Then you leave your wife and go with the newfound love. It’s good and you have many happy years then the itch starts again. And you start to miss your wife. She had something there when you were together. In the end you also not sure who you really love.

But why not just live both of them? You will need to do the balancing. If our polygamous Muslim friends can do it, it means it is possible to love more than one woman at the same time. Although the Chinese emperor is have many wives and concubines, in the end, they also only love that 3-4 women. I think men are not made for monogamy 😂. Maybe it’s my excuse. But hey, life is short. Do what you feel is right for you.
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