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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help. This section is sponsored by Yakuza.

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  #31  
Old 27-05-2019, 08:00 PM
LeeKeeKah LeeKeeKah is offline
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Re: Share experience of divorcing wife and get marry again.

Quote:
Originally Posted by despacito69 View Post
A lot of time, the 2nd time would fail again as there are too many attractions out there nowadays
Based on your logic, first time also will fail
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  #32  
Old 31-05-2019, 01:19 AM
c0cktailov3r c0cktailov3r is offline
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Re: Share experience of divorcing wife and get marry again.

Some women wish that their husband can bring up the divorce topic first. So maybe u are doing her a favour instead.

Anyway, no harm trying to talk things out.
Who knows? U could be the lucky one to get a peaceful divorce.

Whatever u read online, still use ur brains to think how to tactfully put ur point across... not everybody is open & accepting... just dont push the blame all on your spouse... u should be quite safe...

Good luck all bros. Just divorce already, and move on... dont waste the women's time anymore if u dont love her now.
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  #33  
Old 03-06-2019, 12:23 PM
lazyguy lazyguy is offline
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Re: Share experience of divorcing wife and get marry again.

I have lots of frds that divorce and find a new partner. But marriage to them is a no word in their dictionary.

Guy frds mostly are finding companionship and sex of course. But girlfriends mostly just to find someone that can support them financially.

I know a girl friend divorce because her husband have small3 outside. In the end my girl friend also become other people small 3. Just keep taking money from that guy.

I also divorce to a PRC.Worst time of my life when I married to her. Now I really very happied and moved on. Don't know will I be typing here if I still with her.

Main point of life. We live once. So just make full use of it and be happy.
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  #34  
Old 03-06-2019, 04:55 PM
SocialCircle SocialCircle is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by larue View Post
I do agree with Leong, his experience is clearly a very painful one, whether it's his own fault or not.

I can tell you it really is no joke losing the whole family experience. I miss very much the days when we were all happy together.

In your case, you said your wife discourages you from this and that, but honestly what seems to be holding you back, is you.

That you have come to believe that nothing could possibly change unless you leave, which frankly is the easiest thing to believe, whether or not it is true.

List down all the things you are unhappy with her about, stop doing things for her that make you unhappy. She dun visit your relatives, dun visit hers either. Ask her to help pay for big ticket items. Don't buy her any branded items anymore.

So that she will know exactly how unhappy you are, because she clearly doesn't and seems to be taking you for granted now.

But when thinking of leaving, don't focus on the other woman and how wonderful you imagine life will be if you leave your wife and be with her instead.

It will cloud your judgement.
Yes. Popping the sentence “let’s divorce” is really difficult.
So sometimes I hope she will learn that I’ve got an affair and then she choose to divorce. Another thought is discuss with her that we keep the divorce secret among 2 of us. Me and her live under same house for time being but we live separate lives.
I’ve stopped buying big ticket items for her beginning of this year.
And thanks for the last advice that I shouldn’t think that life will be good with the new woman. I should live for myself.
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  #35  
Old 03-06-2019, 05:03 PM
iluvbreast iluvbreast is offline
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Re: Share experience of divorcing wife and get marry again.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SocialCircle View Post
Actually she discourages me from stuff like changing my job, venturing out, she dun like my relatives in msia and always find excuses not to go.....So every now n then, my mind is searching for the best all rounded solution.... it’s quite frustrating.

So u will be selling the house and split the amount and u will buy resale?
I read somewhere in this thread, someone said if you divorce do it for yourself, not for that new lady in your life.

You find that you cannot live with your current wife anymore, life makes you unhappy. You are about 40 so please divorce, according to statistics, you are halfway through your lifespan already don't force yourself if you cannot take it anymore.

Now before your divorce, take from someone who have done it. You need to make some preparations.

You should start keep your assets so that you do not give out more than what is fair to wife because you need the money to continue or even possibility rebuild your life.

Please also stay away from that new lady you met, at least until your divorce is over. It is not easy to live with a divorcee especially one with kids, don't get confuse yet, you are dating her now, you have not live with her. Life can be worse that now after you start to live with her.

After you settle these 2 things, get a good lawyer and finish your divorce proceedings and live your life.
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  #36  
Old 05-06-2019, 01:11 PM
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Re: Share experience of divorcing wife and get marry again.

Divorce is Painful process and especially for the kid. If he or she can understand, not as bad.

As mentioned by bros, preparation have to be made. And best on mutual consent no need go court. More u go court more money wasted on lawyer.

Assets planning most critical where your house bank acc (if joint) etc. And also whether ur spouse working or not. Maintenance for her is a bitch as wc read provide for her to her current level, pay lump sum if u. Never take $1 option where nightmare will come later.

Just move on from experience and learn from it.
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  #37  
Old 05-06-2019, 02:14 PM
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Re: Share experience of divorcing wife and get marry again.

Many people having affairs consider themselves to be ‘happily’ married

https://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/l...appily-married

Kerri Sackville

11:55, Jun 05 2019

OPINION: Here's an unexpected side effect of being a relationships writer: people talk to me about their relationships.

I'm like a Jewish female priest; I am forever taking confessions. I've gained insights into the marriages of strangers and heard endless stories of affairs.

And let me tell you: there are a lot of affairs. Infidelity is rife. Pretty much everyone has cheated, or been cheated on, or been the confidante of someone who has.

Frequently, when I hear someone discuss their own infidelity, they've included a rationale.

My wife doesn't appreciate me, they say (and yes, they really do say that, it's not just in the movies), or my husband neglects me. It's their justification, their reasoning, the explanation for seeking comfort outside the marriage.

It makes sense. Marriage is tough, particularly after the first few loved up years, and when people are not getting intimacy in their primary relationship, they may seek it elsewhere.

There's a reason why people have affairs that has nothing to do with the quality of their marriages - affairs feel good. (

There's a reason why people have affairs that has nothing to do with the quality of their marriages - affairs feel good. (File photo)
But there's another story I hear, not quite as frequently, but regularly. I love my spouse. There's nothing wrong with my marriage. I just like to have sex with other people.

In other words, there is a reason that people have affairs that has nothing to do with the quality of their marriages.

Affairs feel good.


Famed relationship expert Esther Perel has written extensively about happily married philanderers and has written about it in the Atlantic.

"I meet… people who assure me, 'I love my wife/my husband. We are best friends and happy together,' and then say: 'But I am having an affair'."

It's hard to estimate how many cheating partners are happy in their marriages, but a new statistic can give us a rough idea. Extramarital dating service Ashley Madison (the "affair website") asked users whether they regretted their infidelity (nearly 90 per cent said they did not) and if they regretted marrying their spouse. Whilst 63 per cent of respondents said that they would not marry their spouse again, given the chance, the remaining 37 per cent of users reported that they would.

In other words, over a third of Ashley Madison members – people who are actively seeking affairs on the internet – consider themselves to be happily married.

Elisabeth Shaw, CEO of Relationships Australia NSW, believes this statistic is accurate. She sees "a lot of people who fight very hard to keep their relationship" after an affair is uncovered, and many who manage to do so.

What's more, she explains, a large proportion of affairs are opportunistic and/or work related. There are certainly married people who troll for sex online (I nod; I've seen a few of them on Tinder), but many people fall into unplanned liaisons with work colleagues or friends.

It seems that many people who have affairs consider themselves to be happily married, which is concerning for those who seek to "affair-proof" their relationships (and the websites and books that promise to show you how).

But wait! There's a twist.

Even when adulterers report having problems in their marriages, the issues may be far less severe than they report, or even think.

"What you generally see in infidelity," explains Shaw, "is that in order to manage the tension about what you're doing to your spouse, you need to do a lot of psychological gymnastics to make it OK."

Rather than deal with problems in their relationships, some people use those issues to validate their cheating behaviour.

Rather than deal with problems in their relationships, some people use those issues to validate their cheating behaviour.

People who are having affairs will often nurse their resentments and dissatisfactions in order to validate their own behaviour.

"Instead of taking their complaints to their partner so that they can work on the relationship, they watch their partner fail them, then use this as the fuel to justify their affair."

WHAT NOW?

So where does this leave monogamy? Should we all just embrace non-monogamy and give up the fidelity ghost?

Well, Ashley Madison certainly wants us to, but Shaw is a little more circumspect.

"Monogamy is not the only way forward," she says. "But the difference between non-monogamy and infidelity is the transparency. One is agreed upon and the other is not."

And, of course, even consensual non-monogamy is fraught. You can be honest with each other and the other people involved, but you cannot control other people's feelings. Sex partners develop emotional connections, feelings get hurt, boundaries need to be negotiated ... It all sounds rather exhausting.

So what's the answer? Well, if Perel and Shaw don't have it, then I certainly don't either. I do suspect, however, that honesty is a good start. And that maybe, just maybe, we all need to calm down a bit about infidelity.

But feel free to send me your thoughts. The Jewish female priest is in session.

Sydney Morning Herald
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  #38  
Old 05-06-2019, 09:47 PM
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Re: Share experience of divorcing wife and get marry again.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sammyboyfor View Post
Many people having affairs consider themselves to be ‘happily’ married

https://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/l...appily-married

Kerri Sackville

11:55, Jun 05 2019

OPINION: Here's an unexpected side effect of being a relationships writer: people talk to me about their relationships.

I'm like a Jewish female priest; I am forever taking confessions. I've gained insights into the marriages of strangers and heard endless stories of affairs.

And let me tell you: there are a lot of affairs. Infidelity is rife. Pretty much everyone has cheated, or been cheated on, or been the confidante of someone who has.

Frequently, when I hear someone discuss their own infidelity, they've included a rationale.

My wife doesn't appreciate me, they say (and yes, they really do say that, it's not just in the movies), or my husband neglects me. It's their justification, their reasoning, the explanation for seeking comfort outside the marriage.

It makes sense. Marriage is tough, particularly after the first few loved up years, and when people are not getting intimacy in their primary relationship, they may seek it elsewhere.

There's a reason why people have affairs that has nothing to do with the quality of their marriages - affairs feel good. (

There's a reason why people have affairs that has nothing to do with the quality of their marriages - affairs feel good. (File photo)
But there's another story I hear, not quite as frequently, but regularly. I love my spouse. There's nothing wrong with my marriage. I just like to have sex with other people.

In other words, there is a reason that people have affairs that has nothing to do with the quality of their marriages.

Affairs feel good.


Famed relationship expert Esther Perel has written extensively about happily married philanderers and has written about it in the Atlantic.

"I meet… people who assure me, 'I love my wife/my husband. We are best friends and happy together,' and then say: 'But I am having an affair'."

It's hard to estimate how many cheating partners are happy in their marriages, but a new statistic can give us a rough idea. Extramarital dating service Ashley Madison (the "affair website") asked users whether they regretted their infidelity (nearly 90 per cent said they did not) and if they regretted marrying their spouse. Whilst 63 per cent of respondents said that they would not marry their spouse again, given the chance, the remaining 37 per cent of users reported that they would.

In other words, over a third of Ashley Madison members – people who are actively seeking affairs on the internet – consider themselves to be happily married.

Elisabeth Shaw, CEO of Relationships Australia NSW, believes this statistic is accurate. She sees "a lot of people who fight very hard to keep their relationship" after an affair is uncovered, and many who manage to do so.

What's more, she explains, a large proportion of affairs are opportunistic and/or work related. There are certainly married people who troll for sex online (I nod; I've seen a few of them on Tinder), but many people fall into unplanned liaisons with work colleagues or friends.

It seems that many people who have affairs consider themselves to be happily married, which is concerning for those who seek to "affair-proof" their relationships (and the websites and books that promise to show you how).

But wait! There's a twist.

Even when adulterers report having problems in their marriages, the issues may be far less severe than they report, or even think.

"What you generally see in infidelity," explains Shaw, "is that in order to manage the tension about what you're doing to your spouse, you need to do a lot of psychological gymnastics to make it OK."

Rather than deal with problems in their relationships, some people use those issues to validate their cheating behaviour.

Rather than deal with problems in their relationships, some people use those issues to validate their cheating behaviour.

People who are having affairs will often nurse their resentments and dissatisfactions in order to validate their own behaviour.

"Instead of taking their complaints to their partner so that they can work on the relationship, they watch their partner fail them, then use this as the fuel to justify their affair."

WHAT NOW?

So where does this leave monogamy? Should we all just embrace non-monogamy and give up the fidelity ghost?

Well, Ashley Madison certainly wants us to, but Shaw is a little more circumspect.

"Monogamy is not the only way forward," she says. "But the difference between non-monogamy and infidelity is the transparency. One is agreed upon and the other is not."

And, of course, even consensual non-monogamy is fraught. You can be honest with each other and the other people involved, but you cannot control other people's feelings. Sex partners develop emotional connections, feelings get hurt, boundaries need to be negotiated ... It all sounds rather exhausting.

So what's the answer? Well, if Perel and Shaw don't have it, then I certainly don't either. I do suspect, however, that honesty is a good start. And that maybe, just maybe, we all need to calm down a bit about infidelity.

But feel free to send me your thoughts. The Jewish female priest is in session.

Sydney Morning Herald
There's one here in the link . already evolved to the next lever .
https://sbf.net.nz/showthread.php?t=730002
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  #39  
Old 06-06-2019, 09:59 AM
SocialCircle SocialCircle is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sammyboyfor View Post
Many people having affairs consider themselves to be ‘happily’ married

https://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/l...appily-married

Kerri Sackville

11:55, Jun 05 2019

OPINION: Here's an unexpected side effect of being a relationships writer: people talk to me about their relationships.

I'm like a Jewish female priest; I am forever taking confessions. I've gained insights into the marriages of strangers and heard endless stories of affairs.

And let me tell you: there are a lot of affairs. Infidelity is rife. Pretty much everyone has cheated, or been cheated on, or been the confidante of someone who has.

Frequently, when I hear someone discuss their own infidelity, they've included a rationale.

My wife doesn't appreciate me, they say (and yes, they really do say that, it's not just in the movies), or my husband neglects me. It's their justification, their reasoning, the explanation for seeking comfort outside the marriage.

It makes sense. Marriage is tough, particularly after the first few loved up years, and when people are not getting intimacy in their primary relationship, they may seek it elsewhere.

There's a reason why people have affairs that has nothing to do with the quality of their marriages - affairs feel good. (

There's a reason why people have affairs that has nothing to do with the quality of their marriages - affairs feel good. (File photo)
But there's another story I hear, not quite as frequently, but regularly. I love my spouse. There's nothing wrong with my marriage. I just like to have sex with other people.

In other words, there is a reason that people have affairs that has nothing to do with the quality of their marriages.

Affairs feel good.


Famed relationship expert Esther Perel has written extensively about happily married philanderers and has written about it in the Atlantic.

"I meet… people who assure me, 'I love my wife/my husband. We are best friends and happy together,' and then say: 'But I am having an affair'."

It's hard to estimate how many cheating partners are happy in their marriages, but a new statistic can give us a rough idea. Extramarital dating service Ashley Madison (the "affair website") asked users whether they regretted their infidelity (nearly 90 per cent said they did not) and if they regretted marrying their spouse. Whilst 63 per cent of respondents said that they would not marry their spouse again, given the chance, the remaining 37 per cent of users reported that they would.

In other words, over a third of Ashley Madison members – people who are actively seeking affairs on the internet – consider themselves to be happily married.

Elisabeth Shaw, CEO of Relationships Australia NSW, believes this statistic is accurate. She sees "a lot of people who fight very hard to keep their relationship" after an affair is uncovered, and many who manage to do so.

What's more, she explains, a large proportion of affairs are opportunistic and/or work related. There are certainly married people who troll for sex online (I nod; I've seen a few of them on Tinder), but many people fall into unplanned liaisons with work colleagues or friends.

It seems that many people who have affairs consider themselves to be happily married, which is concerning for those who seek to "affair-proof" their relationships (and the websites and books that promise to show you how).

But wait! There's a twist.

Even when adulterers report having problems in their marriages, the issues may be far less severe than they report, or even think.

"What you generally see in infidelity," explains Shaw, "is that in order to manage the tension about what you're doing to your spouse, you need to do a lot of psychological gymnastics to make it OK."

Rather than deal with problems in their relationships, some people use those issues to validate their cheating behaviour.

Rather than deal with problems in their relationships, some people use those issues to validate their cheating behaviour.

People who are having affairs will often nurse their resentments and dissatisfactions in order to validate their own behaviour.

"Instead of taking their complaints to their partner so that they can work on the relationship, they watch their partner fail them, then use this as the fuel to justify their affair."

WHAT NOW?

So where does this leave monogamy? Should we all just embrace non-monogamy and give up the fidelity ghost?

Well, Ashley Madison certainly wants us to, but Shaw is a little more circumspect.

"Monogamy is not the only way forward," she says. "But the difference between non-monogamy and infidelity is the transparency. One is agreed upon and the other is not."

And, of course, even consensual non-monogamy is fraught. You can be honest with each other and the other people involved, but you cannot control other people's feelings. Sex partners develop emotional connections, feelings get hurt, boundaries need to be negotiated ... It all sounds rather exhausting.

So what's the answer? Well, if Perel and Shaw don't have it, then I certainly don't either. I do suspect, however, that honesty is a good start. And that maybe, just maybe, we all need to calm down a bit about infidelity.

But feel free to send me your thoughts. The Jewish female priest is in session.

Sydney Morning Herald
Thanks for the article.
Good for generating thoughts in oneself....
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  #40  
Old 08-06-2019, 12:49 AM
Vanda Vanda is offline
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Re: Share experience of divorcing wife and get marry again.

Here I am divorcing soon and wifey of my not contributing to relationships by not working to save money for future and squander my pocket money. Sad to hear from you guys to start all over again. One thing lucky is that I dun have children but had some debts because of my wifey. Alone at times and admiring those lovely dovy couples in shopping centres, it broken my heart that my wife let me down. Now I am dating oversea ladies for opportunity.
I hope to have a glass of beer to toast the brudders who share the same woes here.
Cheers and hope life will be better for you guys
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  #41  
Old 08-06-2019, 10:14 AM
SocialCircle SocialCircle is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vanda View Post
Here I am divorcing soon and wifey of my not contributing to relationships by not working to save money for future and squander my pocket money. Sad to hear from you guys to start all over again. One thing lucky is that I dun have children but had some debts because of my wifey. Alone at times and admiring those lovely dovy couples in shopping centres, it broken my heart that my wife let me down. Now I am dating oversea ladies for opportunity.
I hope to have a glass of beer to toast the brudders who share the same woes here.
Cheers and hope life will be better for you guys
So how fast is the divorce for your case?
Any websites that u can recommend to read up?
I can feel for u in some way.
Almost 95% of the expenses is from me.
Always like branded bags....
The birthday gift I got compared to hers....
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  #42  
Old 08-06-2019, 02:47 PM
Vanda Vanda is offline
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Re: Share experience of divorcing wife and get marry again.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SocialCircle View Post
So how fast is the divorce for your case?
Any websites that u can recommend to read up?
I can feel for u in some way.
Almost 95% of the expenses is from me.
Always like branded bags....
The birthday gift I got compared to hers....
She agreed on not getting a single cent from this divorce and I can file either lawyer letter or 3 years separation. Every month I gave 1k sgd allowance to her in China. Recently we had dispute and fight plus she has affair with boyfriend. All the emotional love and countless of nights looking after her come to nothingness.
I am clearer on next woman requirement, if she love your deep pockets, better stay away. We should be to obess with pussy that we lose our respect and bottom line.
A good woman who love you should do her part to contribute to building of a future as a family unit with you instead of squandering your money and expect to sit at home like tai tai. Unless you are a ah xia kia to begin with.
Bottom line is there must be a basis of love in the foundation of a relationship or a family unit

Last edited by Vanda; 08-06-2019 at 06:30 PM.
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  #43  
Old 09-06-2019, 01:10 PM
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damong777 damong777 is offline
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Re: Share experience of divorcing wife and get marry again.

A mutual divorce from mediation to finalization can be done in 6 months.
Things may drag will be sales of mutual estate etc

A complicated one can drag forever. My friend in out of court for 4 yrs

Hence pls know what u are using your grounds for divorce
- adultery (need to prove)
- unreasonable behaviour (need to prove)
- desertion
- separation for 3 yrs (both party agree)
- separation for 4 yrs (one party raise can go through)

Can go law society of singapore website to read up.

Also alot of threads on divorce here on sbf
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  #44  
Old 10-06-2019, 09:51 AM
SocialCircle SocialCircle is offline
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Originally Posted by damong777 View Post
A mutual divorce from mediation to finalization can be done in 6 months.
Things may drag will be sales of mutual estate etc

A complicated one can drag forever. My friend in out of court for 4 yrs

Hence pls know what u are using your grounds for divorce
- adultery (need to prove)
- unreasonable behaviour (need to prove)
- desertion
- separation for 3 yrs (both party agree)
- separation for 4 yrs (one party raise can go through)

Can go law society of singapore website to read up.

Also alot of threads on divorce here on sbf
Thanks. Will go Law society and read up.
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Old 11-06-2019, 01:42 PM
lazyguy lazyguy is offline
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Re: Share experience of divorcing wife and get marry again.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vanda View Post
She agreed on not getting a single cent from this divorce and I can file either lawyer letter or 3 years separation. Every month I gave 1k sgd allowance to her in China. Recently we had dispute and fight plus she has affair with boyfriend. All the emotional love and countless of nights looking after her come to nothingness.
I am clearer on next woman requirement, if she love your deep pockets, better stay away. We should be to obess with pussy that we lose our respect and bottom line.
A good woman who love you should do her part to contribute to building of a future as a family unit with you instead of squandering your money and expect to sit at home like tai tai. Unless you are a ah xia kia to begin with.
Bottom line is there must be a basis of love in the foundation of a relationship or a family unit
U marry her in china?

So you going over china to divorce her?
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