Need advice for overseas affair, messy.

[I Love Boobs]

TS likes to post shit online.
Spineless loser with no Myojo.

https://sbf.net.nz/showpost.p...7&postcount=14

[justwanadoit]

Thanks bro, it could be love cocktail. I have never fallen in love til now. By way i am 40s

Originally Posted by EtherC

Bro, you quite old bird here. Never read my posts on love? These are hormones and brain transmitters that give you the high. Im not saying your love is fake. Give it some time ,if you can stay cold turkey from this new girl and fly home for a visit. Rid yourself of the love cocktail messing with your thoughts. Then really consider as a sober man if you really cannot live without this new girl. Don’t need me to remind you how divorce is right?

[laobiantai]

Why you marry a lady that you have no feelings?

[Kovovo]

One month still honeymoon period, at the very least give yourself more time first. Spare a thot for your kid too.

[justwanadoit]

Originally Posted by Kovovo

One month still honeymoon period, at the very least give yourself more time first. Spare a thot for your kid too.

Thank you for kind thoughts

[passiontea]

let me ask you this. After you met this girl, you always get butterflies in your stomach when you meet, you look forward to the dates, to the 'sex' if there is. Whenever she replies you, you look forward to it? I would just think thatyou are just craving for the relationship flame that was gone with your wife.

You are only feeling this because you are lonely, you don't have anything to look forward to, you don't have hobbies, you only have work and that's it. When was the last time you really took a very close look to your wife of X years? the grey in her hair, the wrinkles on her face. When was the last time you really touch your wife properly? Not to mention, you said you treat her like a sister now, then why did you even marry her, or even got a kid?

1 month is too short, want to know whether she is one for you, do it for 1 year min. If you can sustain this 1 year, then ya. But even the fact of your writing, i don't think you will last this relationship in 4 months. Sorry mate. You can zap me but it is just that harsh comment from me.

[justwanadoit]

Bro/sis, the thing is i did not fall in love with my wife when i married. It was kinda wrong decision. The feeling is more like a good friend, a sister, now of course there is love after many years.


Initially yes, i do look forward to this girl who i met in Europe, her messages and hearing her voice and was a very sweet period. We had sex and was good and i still want sex with her. But i do feel guilty because i cannot be long term with her. She did tell me she want a man for long term with a future.

No, overseas i had hobbies. Not many close friends but enough acquaintances to go hiking, cycling, city tours, dancing


I fell in love in a circumstances that was very sweet and romantic. We match on tinder and she show me the city that i visited for 3 fulls days. We did not have intimacy in that 3 days but just a kiss. I can say this girl is first girl i fell in love with. I did not experiment dating at all in my younger days although i am good looking actually but i had low self esteem in my younger days

Originally Posted by passiontea

let me ask you this. After you met this girl, you always get butterflies in your stomach when you meet, you look forward to the dates, to the 'sex' if there is. Whenever she replies you, you look forward to it? I would just think thatyou are just craving for the relationship flame that was gone with your wife.

You are only feeling this because you are lonely, you don't have anything to look forward to, you don't have hobbies, you only have work and that's it. When was the last time you really took a very close look to your wife of X years? the grey in her hair, the wrinkles on her face. When was the last time you really touch your wife properly? Not to mention, you said you treat her like a sister now, then why did you even marry her, or even got a kid?

1 month is too short, want to know whether she is one for you, do it for 1 year min. If you can sustain this 1 year, then ya. But even the fact of your writing, i don't think you will last this relationship in 4 months. Sorry mate. You can zap me but it is just that harsh comment from me.

[kennyr]

The novelty of love eventually fades even if you get to marry Angeline Jolie. Eventually it becomes more of a commitment. A stable relationship and family is a blessing many cannot find.

If you really see a future with this new person, you'll eventually need to tell her about your marriage and child. And let's say she is alright and the notion, you'll be bringing into a relationship with a lot of emotional baggage.

Consider wisely my friend.

[Tai_zi21]

Originally Posted by justwanadoit

Not sure if this is right sub forum to write. There is another which is matters of heart. So mod if not correct, can bring to other sub forum.

I have to admit its all my fault. I do feel guilty it happened but this period for me is totally surreal.


Background is i got married to a lady that i had no feelings for over 10 years and had a child. Worst thing was she my 1st girlfriend so i actually never fallen in love. After more than 10 years , i cannot say i got no feelings for her, its more like loyalty, sisterly feeling rathen than romantic feeling.

Felt something amiss. I had never really put myself out in market.


Got a offer overseas(europe) and i took it. Left my family here temporarily and was planning to bring them over. Then Covid came.

When overseas very lonely so i intro myself as single and got to know some ladies. But some are just ONS. Nothing serious

Then came along this lady and I fell in love, she is perfect for me. I thought she should be the woman i should have married in Singapore. But she did not know i married and had child liao. We are now paktor for 1 month, everything so sweet and i finally have the feeling of falling in love


Sigh...now at cross road,really don't know what to do. Give up my life overseas and come back to my "stable,happy family" or give up Singapore one and go for new one?

How should i break up even with this one overseas? She is the 1st i fell in love with.

This is how I think a very short and simple 1...

First you are in the honeymoon period... after being 10 years with her will u say the same thing? Secondly love dun last forever at least to me... it become more like a responsibility and a commitment

Cheers

[JacqueMerlin]

Originally Posted by justwanadoit

Not sure if this is right sub forum to write. There is another which is matters of heart. So mod if not correct, can bring to other sub forum.

I have to admit its all my fault. I do feel guilty it happened but this period for me is totally surreal.


Background is i got married to a lady that i had no feelings for over 10 years and had a child. Worst thing was she my 1st girlfriend so i actually never fallen in love. After more than 10 years , i cannot say i got no feelings for her, its more like loyalty, sisterly feeling rathen than romantic feeling.

Felt something amiss. I had never really put myself out in market.


Got a offer overseas(europe) and i took it. Left my family here temporarily and was planning to bring them over. Then Covid came.

When overseas very lonely so i intro myself as single and got to know some ladies. But some are just ONS. Nothing serious

Then came along this lady and I fell in love, she is perfect for me. I thought she should be the woman i should have married in Singapore. But she did not know i married and had child liao. We are now paktor for 1 month, everything so sweet and i finally have the feeling of falling in love


Sigh...now at cross road,really don't know what to do. Give up my life overseas and come back to my "stable,happy family" or give up Singapore one and go for new one?

How should i break up even with this one overseas? She is the 1st i fell in love with.

The bigger question is if you committed to providing financial resource to 2 sides permanently. Divorcing a local woman in Singapore is a very expensive ordeal.

[HonkyTonkyMan]

Never make hasty decision just based on one month, some times some feelings die off as fast as they start....in your case unless you sure there is a future for you there in terms of career etc if not end of the day if you know you still need to come back, then better play dun take it too seriously..

[EtherC]

Guys marrying for love is really risky. Love is just Nature’s chemical cocktail to get genetically compatible humans together for a period of max 2-3 years. That love eventually fades and you will at some point feel like killing each other until a child comes along and changes your body and brain chemistry again. After the child somewhat matures the relationship between the parents is just one of kinship and responsibilities. For the lucky few there could be lasting attraction.

Divorce is really bad for us Sporean men, the ex wife can ask for maintenance and if you have a kid thats also under law that you have to maintain & care for. Failure to do so can result in imprisonment.

I would say choose marry your best friend or someone with complimentary life goals and character over some girl you randomly meet ;fall in love with and think destiny has it all worked out.

[SimplyUnperfect]

Originally Posted by EtherC

Bro, you quite old bird here. Never read my posts on love? These are hormones and brain transmitters that give you the high. Im not saying your love is fake. Give it some time ,if you can stay cold turkey from this new girl and fly home for a visit. Rid yourself of the love cocktail messing with your thoughts. Then really consider as a sober man if you really cannot live without this new girl. Don’t need me to remind you how divorce is right?

Upped u bro