Indeed a good counselor well in many cases sex have become a treat from many wives. some example
"I tried you want to do it tonight do all the chores?"
"My have bad day in office cheer me" etc.
example of reason use. Not saying all but majoirty use that. And if you ever say a marriage counselor say "Marriage without a healthy sex life is not normal" You will get shot with this "THan you go have sex with the counselor lo" LMAO
bro well then it was lucky that the counselor told me and my wife together that Marriage needs to have a healthy sex life...
Yes, about sex becoming a treat from the wife, I brought it up during our pre-marriage counselling. I asked my gf then (now wife), can you ever don't do this, or I am not marrying you, you can discuss with me in other ways but definitely not with the sex...
Well at least it work for you bro doesn't work when i say that LOL all that was utter is "Your is too corrupted" Jeezzz
Even now that i handling most of the the chores it never seem to be enough so the final verdict is FUCK IT have to find a alter source although i am not with the idea but well little bro need some relieve. I don't want to walk around see some sexy or pretty chick and get a stiffy so easily.
Quote:
Originally Posted by iluvbreast
bro well then it was lucky that the counselor told me and my wife together that Marriage needs to have a healthy sex life...
Yes, about sex becoming a treat from the wife, I brought it up during our pre-marriage counselling. I asked my gf then (now wife), can you ever don't do this, or I am not marrying you, you can discuss with me in other ways but definitely not with the sex...
__________________
sent me an angel with a pair of lovely legs in hosiery
Before marrying my wife and me went for counselling, we discussed about sex. I told the counselor I really enjoy sex with my wife(to be), my wife also said the same.
Very well said bro...Esp the part on counselling before marriage. It's important to align both party sexual needs before marriage cos I'm also now facing same issue as bro here like sex frequency and 'quality' drop dramatically once got kids and wife simple think that that type of 'urge' can DIY all the time...no need to have sex since end result is the same.
Hence, wife does not understand guy's sexual desire stuff (cant fault her for tat) which now I'm working on how to make her understand and have more passion than just like 'dead' fish when making loving. Still work in progress...
Very well said bro...Esp the part on counselling before marriage. It's important to align both party sexual needs before marriage cos I'm also now facing same issue as bro here like sex frequency and 'quality' drop dramatically once got kids and wife simple think that that type of 'urge' can DIY all the time...no need to have sex since end result is the same.
Hence, wife does not understand guy's sexual desire stuff (cant fault her for tat) which now I'm working on how to make her understand and have more passion than just like 'dead' fish when making loving. Still work in progress...
Actually, because both of us had failed in our previous marriage...it made us weary of marrying again...we actually talk about it for a year before deciding to to it.
We decided to talk to a 3rd party (counselor) because we wanted to hear what problems others faced in their marriage life (I was secretly hoped to hear enough problems to not marry )...
My wife blushed and glared at me when I said (to the counselor) I enjoyed having sex with her. The counselor was happy that I brought the up subject.
She said most couples don't want to talk about during pre-marriage counselling, problems with intimacy were something couples brought up for counselling after marriage. Last time it was perfectly understandable since our society frown on pre-marital sex but this day and age....
I don't know about others but, having failed in marriage really affected us...For me it was really difficult especially since my child is mostly with me, not many women wants that and I was afraid that my kid don't like it.
Anyway all the best bro, I hope manage to communicate with your wife to iron out your issues. Having kid(s) make marriage much more busy and tiring hence less time and energy for each other.
You need to work on it, start with something that needs min effort, like my wife is rather conservative, so she always wears long PJs to sleep (Last time she still put on a sexy nightie once in a while ). So I told her panties are not allowed unless she was having menses, and I always slip my hands into her PJs , my ritual before sleeping, to remind her I am to have unrestricted access :
Men want her golden honey pot. Women know it and she can use it as her trump card to play you into the marriage and honey trap!
Sexless Marriages ---> very highly recommended listening
(If she is withholding affection and sex from you while you are still working, providing her your income, and a home to live in, the marriage contract is broken. Divorce her before she accuses you of sexual harassment or rape, and move on.)
D_E_A_D_ Bedrooms ---> recommended listening
(Women have their emotional or mental problems even as men pamper them to no avail; women lose their interest in close proximity with you leading to a dead bedroom in marriages. Unique to Singapore and Asia? No!)
Marriage Makes You A Moron
(Marriage dumbs you down, works you hard and harder, mostly for her own benefit and material comfort. Most inventors and scientists make their inventions and discoveries before marriage or during bachelor life.)
Is It A Good Idea To Marry Foreign Women?
(Being used as an escape to greener pastures? Bringing in a foreign woman from a poorer country to be your wife in your country is a very risky gamble.)
The More Attractive - The More Headaches
(The prettier she is, the heavier you fall for her. The more headaches she can cause you, and drain your resources and life faster.)
Women Shorten Men's Lives
(From A to Z, in all 180+ countries that record life expectancy data, women generally live longer than men. Is life expectancy determined by gender, or are men perpetually stressed and worked hard by women to early deaths? A researcher in Germany found that monks living in monasteries live as long as nuns in convents and women in general population.)
Social Media Whores
(Women, even girls, naturally desire attention. Complimenting and praising them, and liking their posts, on social media gives them their attention fix, raises their self-esteem and narcissism which polishes their golden vagina to a shine. It is pussy power over you while they scan/look for the better richer man which is likely not you.)
Men Are Islands. Women Are Boats. ---> very highly recommended listening
(Stop focusing on women! Men are islands; he shapes the islands as he likes. Women are boats; she sails around the islands until she finds one that looks nice to live on.)
Invest In Yourself. Not Women!
(Better yourself, be richer, prepare for the future, and women naturally want to be around you.)
__________________
Give me points if you like my post or find it informative.
The problem is why we let ourselves get into this situation then?
The stigma of being labelled a lecherous man isn't it?
A lot of the brothers will say ‘welcome to the club’, ‘use your hands’ or ‘outsource’ whenever someone complains of no sex or very sex after marriage or child birth.
To be a little extreme, in legal terms, withholding sex from your husband is deem to be unreasonable behaviour. It’s solid grounds for divorcing your wife, if you don't believe me, go ask any lawyer.
Not to offend anyone, I am actually very curious to ask if anyone had told your wife before marrying her that sex is a must, otherwise marriage would be a no-go.
After marriage, if the wife withhold sex and the man have to outsource and if caught, will be deem a lecherous man. After which you must seek forgiveness (from the wife) or let the wife divorce you on adultery grounds.
Maybe not extreme. This man, also a divorcee, feels that the woman has broken the marriage "contract" when she withholds affection and sex. This allows her to whip and abuse the husband to endlessly do her bidding.
Sexless Marriages
__________________
Give me points if you like my post or find it informative.
Yes, about sex becoming a treat from the wife, I brought it up during our pre-marriage counselling. I asked my gf then (now wife), can you ever don't do this, or I am not marrying you, you can discuss with me in other ways but definitely not with the sex...
Did you both sign off on a printed/written list of terms and conditions of the marriage contract about this?
No? Oh no! This means she could still withhold sex in the future.
The marriage certificate is essentially a blank contract that when it comes to divorce, the family court has laws written up to favour women. Most men are too busy chasing mini skirts and looking at cleavages to bother reading up on those laws, not even when they personally know of men who have been divorced and lost half, or at least half, of their assets.
__________________
Give me points if you like my post or find it informative.
...start with something that needs min effort, like my wife is rather conservative, so she always wears long PJs to sleep (Last time she still put on a sexy nightie once in a while ). So I told her panties are not allowed unless she was having menses, and I always slip my hands into her PJs , my ritual before sleeping, to remind her I am to have unrestricted access :
Excellent idea!
__________________
Give me points if you like my post or find it informative.
Actually, because both of us had failed in our previous marriage...it made us weary of marrying again...we actually talk about it for a year before deciding to to it.
You need to work on it, start with something that needs min effort, like my wife is rather conservative, so she always wears long PJs to sleep (Last time she still put on a sexy nightie once in a while ). So I told her panties are not allowed unless she was having menses, and I always slip my hands into her PJs , my ritual before sleeping, to remind her I am to have unrestricted access
omg !!...u so kinky bro ...like yr this idea v. much ...wat a steamy pre-sleeping ritual u hv set for yr wifey for other husbands to follow on their wives in the bedroom ....good job !...well done !! ...keep it up...but it will be v. difficult for other husbands to practise on their normal conservative wives as they will be faced with stiff resistance n scolding from them calling u a pervert
Thank you for sharing, if there are any lady members reading this I would also like to have some input from the female perspective.
Just to give some history to this topic
I’m married for almost 20 years now but I can tell you that I can count the number of times my wife and I have sex with my fingers and toes.
During the 8 years of courtship my wife was very strict in absolutely no intercourse, of cos we were not saints and we had HJ each other probably about once a month.
So the 2 virgins happily got married and as we were very fertile, my wife conceived our first child within the first month with just 3 rounds (separate days of cos). During her pregnancy sex was a no-no to her and hence I engaged my 5 girlfriends (my fingers on my right hand) during that period of time. After the birth of my first child we had at best once a year and it was always me who requested for it numerous times before she gave in. Life goes on with such routine and my relationship with my 5 girlfriends remain active.
Then after a few years my wife wanted a second child and that was when she initiated. As we were older, our hit rate was not so high and she conceived my second child only after 5 rounds over 2 months.
Pregnancy period was again a no-sex-period for her. Not only that after my second child was born, there were none until my second child turned 4 (meaning all most 5 years in total).
That period of time was extremely tough for me, but that was the period when my career “took-off”. I had a good job that allowed us to have a decent size (in Singapore context) HDB, a Korean made family size car, and average 2 overseas holidays a year. My wife eventually decided to quit her job and be a stay at home mom. We are not rich but we are comfortable, and for just an O level graduate this was something I never thought I could have.
Life at work also started to exposed me to entertainment in clubs and pubs, and this was when I learnt that paid service was common. I fell for the first temptation during that 5 years of dryness.
On top of that my wife and I drifted apart for different reasons. I resent her for lack of physical intimacy and she resent me for not spending enough time with her and our children due to my busy work schedule.
Life goes on for a few more years with me falling for temptations another time but throughout my 5 girlfriends who don’t charge were still my main source.
Like the Chinese saying, you will come across a tiger eventually if you climb too many mountains. My wife found out about me engaging paid services and of cos she was extremely angry and disappointed. I tried to defend myself with the theory of men’s needs but she always insisted that a marriage cannot be built on sexual desire, and I can only agree that a marriage cannot be built on sexual desire ONLY. She eventually chose to stick around for the sake of our children which till today I am so grateful of.
Life continue to go on with the same routine of once a year. But temptations in Singapore is everywhere and I fell one more time.......... and “lucky” enough my wife caught me again. It was a crisis at that point and I requested that we see a marriage counsellor which she declined immediately, thinking that it is solely my fault and my problem and that I cheated and lied to her repeatedly and hence counselling help will not work, it was simply my fault.
After using all kinds of reasoning with her she had decided to stay on with this lousy marriage, and of cos for the sake of our children.
Our resentment towards each other grew stronger slowly but surely, by the day, and the time we spend with each other and the communications that we have almost non existent.
They say you reap what you sow. Recently I uncovered that she has been secretly seeing another man. From the WhatsApp messages they exchanged I know she has a very strong feeling for him. That broke me from head to toe. She initially tried to deny and hide, and finally admitted when I showed her solid evidences. She insisted that the affair is non sexual and she was looking for companion and attention, and this is due to my cheating and neglecting the family.
While I don’t blame her as I was the one cheated on her first, she never recognised that there was a reason why I fell for temptations.
Well, now I am at the crossroad not knowing what to do. She stayed on after knowing I cheated on her, but am I able to really get over this? The fact is I still love her so very much.
Best of all, I just loss my job.........
What will change from now? I really don’t know.
Well, if you have read till this point, I thank you for your time and contribution.
Hey dude.... don’t give up... I do agreed that the temptation is always out there. Well if your wife admitted that their relationship is non sexual than just try to let it go.
The old saying “you rip what you sow”...... sometime we may not agreed but what go around do come around.
Sometime in life, you gain some and you lose some lah... so relax lah buddy
Thank you for sharing, if there are any lady members reading this I would also like to have some input from the female perspective.
Just to give some history to this topic
I’m married for almost 20 years now but I can tell you that I can count the number of times my wife and I have sex with my fingers and toes.
During the 8 years of courtship my wife was very strict in absolutely no intercourse, of cos we were not saints and we had HJ each other probably about once a month.
So the 2 virgins happily got married and as we were very fertile, my wife conceived our first child within the first month with just 3 rounds (separate days of cos). During her pregnancy sex was a no-no to her and hence I engaged my 5 girlfriends (my fingers on my right hand) during that period of time. After the birth of my first child we had at best once a year and it was always me who requested for it numerous times before she gave in. Life goes on with such routine and my relationship with my 5 girlfriends remain active.
Then after a few years my wife wanted a second child and that was when she initiated. As we were older, our hit rate was not so high and she conceived my second child only after 5 rounds over 2 months.
Pregnancy period was again a no-sex-period for her. Not only that after my second child was born, there were none until my second child turned 4 (meaning all most 5 years in total).
That period of time was extremely tough for me, but that was the period when my career “took-off”. I had a good job that allowed us to have a decent size (in Singapore context) HDB, a Korean made family size car, and average 2 overseas holidays a year. My wife eventually decided to quit her job and be a stay at home mom. We are not rich but we are comfortable, and for just an O level graduate this was something I never thought I could have.
Life at work also started to exposed me to entertainment in clubs and pubs, and this was when I learnt that paid service was common. I fell for the first temptation during that 5 years of dryness.
On top of that my wife and I drifted apart for different reasons. I resent her for lack of physical intimacy and she resent me for not spending enough time with her and our children due to my busy work schedule.
Life goes on for a few more years with me falling for temptations another time but throughout my 5 girlfriends who don’t charge were still my main source.
Like the Chinese saying, you will come across a tiger eventually if you climb too many mountains. My wife found out about me engaging paid services and of cos she was extremely angry and disappointed. I tried to defend myself with the theory of men’s needs but she always insisted that a marriage cannot be built on sexual desire, and I can only agree that a marriage cannot be built on sexual desire ONLY. She eventually chose to stick around for the sake of our children which till today I am so grateful of.
Life continue to go on with the same routine of once a year. But temptations in Singapore is everywhere and I fell one more time.......... and “lucky” enough my wife caught me again. It was a crisis at that point and I requested that we see a marriage counsellor which she declined immediately, thinking that it is solely my fault and my problem and that I cheated and lied to her repeatedly and hence counselling help will not work, it was simply my fault.
After using all kinds of reasoning with her she had decided to stay on with this lousy marriage, and of cos for the sake of our children.
Our resentment towards each other grew stronger slowly but surely, by the day, and the time we spend with each other and the communications that we have almost non existent.
They say you reap what you sow. Recently I uncovered that she has been secretly seeing another man. From the WhatsApp messages they exchanged I know she has a very strong feeling for him. That broke me from head to toe. She initially tried to deny and hide, and finally admitted when I showed her solid evidences. She insisted that the affair is non sexual and she was looking for companion and attention, and this is due to my cheating and neglecting the family.
While I don’t blame her as I was the one cheated on her first, she never recognised that there was a reason why I fell for temptations.
Well, now I am at the crossroad not knowing what to do. She stayed on after knowing I cheated on her, but am I able to really get over this? The fact is I still love her so very much.
Best of all, I just loss my job.........
What will change from now? I really don’t know.
Well, if you have read till this point, I thank you for your time and contribution.
I could say is your 邪淫果报。Haiz...That lead to your loss job.
But cannot blame u as well. As I understand the dry period u going through
Anyway all the best bro, I hope manage to communicate with your wife to iron out your issues. Having kid(s) make marriage much more busy and tiring hence less time and energy for each other.
You need to work on it, start with something that needs min effort, like my wife is rather conservative, so she always wears long PJs to sleep (Last time she still put on a sexy nightie once in a while ). So I told her panties are not allowed unless she was having menses, and I always slip my hands into her PJs , my ritual before sleeping, to remind her I am to have unrestricted access :
Thanks Bro..envy you got a understanding wife who would do that for you.
I tried to ask my wife to do that she said no don't feel comfortable and even I touch her down under cannot..feel 'dirty'..so no BJ, no painting no no no...so juz missionary and finish off with woman on top...for years liao...
Talk to her abt counseling, go once and she said useless....waste time & $$$
Haiz...that why come to sbf to learn how other bro manage to convince their wife lor...
On top of that my wife and I drifted apart for different reasons. I resent her for lack of physical intimacy and she resent me for not spending enough time with her and our children due to my busy work schedule.
Well, now I am at the crossroad not knowing what to do. She stayed on after knowing I cheated on her, but am I able to really get over this? The fact is I still love her so very much.
Best of all, I just loss my job.........
What will change from now? I really don’t know.
Well, if you have read till this point, I thank you for your time and contribution.
Sorry to hear abt your situation.
Bro you are not alone that why sbf gt so many members. I can feel your 'resentment', I also feel that way when kenna 'rejected'. However, maybe you can work on why she got no mood and try to help her out.
As for your relationship, base on what you had wrote I guess your wife still have not give up. So maybe you want to seek help from marriage counseling because having a third party to advice might help.
Well at least it work for you bro doesn't work when i say that LOL all that was utter is "Your is too corrupted" Jeezzz
Even now that i handling most of the the chores it never seem to be enough so the final verdict is FUCK IT have to find a alter source although i am not with the idea but well little bro need some relieve. I don't want to walk around see some sexy or pretty chick and get a stiffy so easily.
May because your counseling was done after marriage? I think most won't go for pre-marriage counseling, in our case it was because both of us failed one time before so we a little worried...
23-09-2019, 02:42 PM
have to find a alter source although i am not with the idea but well little bro need some relieve. I don't want to walk around see some sexy or pretty chick and get a stiffy so easily. 
Re: Frequency of Sex of Married Couple
). So I told her panties are not allowed unless she was having menses, and I always slip my hands into her PJs 
...like yr this idea v. much 
...wat a steamy pre-sleeping ritual u hv set for yr wifey for other husbands to follow on their wives in the bedroom 
t Similar Threads
