Never thought this would happen to me.

[=LatexDolly=]

Well, as some would know, I'm retiring. Retiring for someone actually, at his request. Yes, he knows my job. He insisted at first he would be okay with it but eventually he caved in. I sort of expected it and I am glad he asked me to quit because it shows that he really likes me. If he didn't give a fuck, he would just let me go on because it wouldn't bother him that other men touch me. Which man could withstand the torment that his girl is an FL? However, a male friend raised a pretty valid point: that it could just be his ego acting up and not that he really gives a shit.

We both felt for each other and he was the one who wanted to get serious. Just when I start getting serious as well, he's kind of breaking my heart. For sure he's not trying to xian me for free sex so we can rule that one out. What is he trying to achieve? He says he feels for me, but he might be having second thoughts? If he didn't want to be serious, why did he ask me to retire and then act so cold towards me? Can't he just say it out loud and tell me to fuck off? And not leave me hanging? Is this relationship entirely hopeless?

Dear bro's, please help me understand the heart of a man.

Thanks for any advice given.

[shyster]

if he is/was really serious about you, he would have asked you to stop doing FL immediately.

and if you are/were also serious about him, you'd have stopped without him asking.

[=LatexDolly=]

Once I knew he was serious, I offered to stop. He tried to let me do what I want. But he couldn't bear it in the end.

And it's not so easy to just "stop". I can't just blow all my clients off? Sigh. Thing is, if I was so assured he was 100% serious, I would definitely blow everyone off BUT I am not assured.

[D_Silver]

Ask him where does he see this relationship 5 years from now. Or even 1 year from now. If his having doubts, he'll probably have a vague answer. Then you'll have to decide how to work it out from there.

And if you're quitting for love, does it matter if you blow off your clients? (the irony!)

Nothing's perfect. You just have to balance the pros and cons and decide what you want and the bear the consequences.

[lacoruna69]

Maybe he doesn't want to tell you in a very authoritative way, can see you are a headstrong kind of gal. As you yourself put it, you have "an ego of a man".
Most probably he doesn't want a heated argument.

[HENG]

never trust man frm here

[Kiddo]

Don't be too harsh on him. It's not easy on him either. No offense to the TS intended but which guy wants an ex-FL for a GF/wife when he can have a decent gal? He's probably feeling very confused with his rational side telling him to give up and avoid those difficult obstacles he's going to face in the future and his irrational side telling him that he's not going to find another one like her and to trust his feelings and go for it.

Give him some time to think over it. If TS is that important to him, he'll find the determination to make that step to commit his future with her.

Good luck!

[ManInCheong]

Maybe he was thinking...
1. How my family gonna see her
2. How can i support her seasoned shopping spree
3. If i regret later wat gonna happen to her
4. She wont invite her client come wedding dinner ba...

[Samurairai]

Man are like this.
The harder you play to get, they will try all their best to dig u.

But once they get you, its like a challenge gone... Some may last forever, most move on to "new" challenges.

Don't be afraid... just have a talk with him, and settle your indifferences. We are just passerbys.. so no one else can offer you advice. except for the 2 involved.

Wishing u all the best! and stay "retired", in search for a lifelong happiness...

[fulham]

"He knows your job" I was just wondering if you know him here...just imagine that he is able to read the FRs of you posted by other men..quite difficult to accept for most men.

Thing is, if I was so assured he was 100% serious, I would definitely blow everyone off BUT I am not assured.

I guess he may also feel the same way as you do. How well have you known one another? Do both of you get along well together? Does he own a stable job with reasonable income, with good character(not abusive), and able to take care/care for you. If yes, you should do some action to show that you value him and make the relationship work.

[colins]

Sometimes a relationship becomes serious only when both parties drops all manner of caution, and just go ahead no matter what happens. Such relationships developed in quite unnatural sense, in extreme conditions actually where commitment is key. Love, ironically, is secondary.

The difference between such relationships and normal relationships is that perseverence (from commitment) becomes the bonding whereas love and affection breed mutual expectations, which can actually retard the bonding. So if you (and him) place love as the only thing and both want to go into the relationship looking for and asking for love, there is only one way, increase commitment to the extreme or wait for break up. Then both of you need to ask yourself, have you ever been so committed before and what makes you think you can do it this time?

You are indecisive, first because he din give you confidence, second because you have a livelihood on the line. He seems to be indecisive too, first he din have that level of confidence too, and second because he face an internal struggle from social acceptance. In logical sense, whether he is playing with you or not, you should protect yourself because there is one thing in common which is lacking, mutual confidence. That is why you see lots of emotional conflicts, as both are wanting love yet knowing it won't last. If you have full confidence, you won't ask the last few questions. If he has confidence, he will ask you in the face to quit once and for all.

Perhaps it is time to talk. And both of you judge each other in how much you can commit. Make that an individual judgement, not something that both must agree with each other. If you want love, be prepared to stay with each other when love is no longer perceived. This is commitment.

[warbird]

Originally Posted by =LatexDolly=

Well, as some would know, I'm retiring. Retiring for someone actually, at his request......Which man could withstand the torment that his girl is an FL? However, a male friend raised a pretty valid point: that it could just be his ego acting up and not that he really gives a shit.

We both felt for each other and he was the one who wanted to get serious. Just when I start getting serious as well, he's kind of breaking my heart...If he didn't want to be serious, why did he ask me to retire and then act so cold towards me? Can't he just say it out loud and tell me to fuck off? And not leave me hanging? Is this relationship entirely hopeless?

Dear bro's, please help me understand the heart of a man.

Thanks for any advice given.

Hi Issie,

Have u been truly in love before? Is he ur first love?

I believe u kena KC-ed by him. But dun worry cos he has feelings for u as well. My question is: Do u really want him to fall for u? Wats ur plan for this RS?

My guess is that he is quite mature n experienced in man-woman RS, regardless of his chronological age. Is he witty, confident n unpredictable? Hot n cold somtimes? Exciting n never dull? Does he know a bevy of gers? He doesn't try to impress u by bragging about himself or buying gifts for u, right? And he is manly n dominant...

Well, he is my man. Perhaps he has come to know some of my strategies unwittingly, haha. See the advice I gave a bro who is having a tiring RS w/ a PRC singer: http://sbf.net.nz/health-...oints-210.html

The same strategy will work in reverse, for u. Here is what u should do: Change ur mindset to that of an Alpha female. Yes, you are a great catch for the most desirable men in the world...etc. Stop contacting him for a while. Let him come crawling back, haha. If he doesn't, forget about him.

BTW, wats wrong w/ being a FL? I hv read some of ur posts, Issie, and u hv earned my respect. I admire ur courage, persistence n independence: Qualities of an Alpha person.

Good luck to u!

[casannova03]

Dear sis!! maybe i offer you some avenues with which to ponder(from a man's perspective)..I dun speak for all men but myself k....hope it helps....if you know my background, I think it'll lend weight to what i say..

First, when I patronise an Fl, I usually have the tendency to ask them what brought them into this trade in the first place...maybe its due to my first hand experience with many of such gals.. I sort of know most of that many are in this line because of some reasons.....

Here, a sort of sympathy but a bit of genuine care and concern sets in during and after the session. Its a mix of both... I'll try to find out more of that gal never mind that it may be the first time i see her. I think it might be due to the effects of the love-making session. As much as one tries to deny it, I believe there is a certain level of emotions being evoked during the act itself...it might be due to the hormones or whatever but still i will get some feeing of attachment to the FL....

At this point, some men tend to promise a bit more things than they usually do...For me i will hold back and stop and that's where it will all end...but on the other hand, other MIGHT take it a step further by trying to take on the relationship further....but bear in mind this decision may have been made before the euphoria of the love-making session has subsided....

So how did you determine that this guy was serious in the first place? You may have reach a decision based on his actions and words...but have you considered on what basis was HIS actions and words reached?

1.) From the bottom of his heart?
2.) During the sessions he had with you?
3.) During the dates with you?
4.) After knowing the other side of you? (Life besides FL)

Its hard for someone outside the relationship to pin-point exactly where the problem is and how its all going to develop....You've gotta take it all on your own sis...we can offer similar or near experiences or friend's experiences but at the end of the day, you have to make a rational decison not based on hearsays and advice but with your own perception and the intepretation of the guy's intentions....

Remember that nothing is absolute ...and my experiences and for the the matter. any other bros' experiences.. will definitely not be the same as yours... Advice can be free and numerous and they often are not the best for your situation...(my ones included)

Maybe for the psychology part of it, you may want to visit my thread...I've just included it in my signature so that you can visit....It is in way different but you may want to read and see what is going thru my mind(as a man) from the time I saw my wife and the dating process to marriage eventually...

I hope you will be able to gain something from it....

[yongzhen]

I think he had tested u and u disappointed him.
Sorry to say it.
But I felt u also not serious abt the relationship at all.
Fr wat I read, u only offer to stop.
U didn't stop immediately.
If u really like him, u will stop without him asking u.
If u tell those bro inline waiting for yr services, they will b kind enough to understand.
For a guy to accept yr past is already very difficult.
I know I can't.

[max_priest]

Originally Posted by =LatexDolly=

..................... We both felt for each other and he was the one who wanted to get serious. Just when I start getting serious as well, he's kind of breaking my heart. For sure he's not trying to xian me for free sex so we can rule that one out. What is he trying to achieve? He says he feels for me, but he might be having second thoughts? If he didn't want to be serious, why did he ask me to retire and then act so cold towards me? Can't he just say it out loud and tell me to fuck off? And not leave me hanging? Is this relationship entirely hopeless?

Dear bro's, please help me understand the heart of a man.

Thanks for any advice given.

Based on the above brief scenario of yours, all I can say is that he is uncertain of the future of and lacking confidence in this relationship ... He therefore ended up "stuck in the middle" at this juncture. Well, having said that & to be fair, we have to give this bloke the benefit of the doubt as there are not many men in their right mind would accept their future significant others whose ex-profession were a call gal. Honestly speaking, I am of no exception. Your "unwillingless" to end your sleazy profession immediately might have compounded the complexity of this relationship. Bear in mind that the social stigma of you being a call gal will be embedded in his mind/perception for a long time to come. His act is perhaps a matter of ego or true love on his part ... However one thing for sure is, you need to give him time & space to ponder over this relationship. And, I would urge you to do likewise. Ultimately both of you have to face the reality ... Have a good long talk with him once both of you are ready and dont leave the relationship hanging there, which can be very unhealthy. If both of you dont see any future ahead, I would suggest both of you end it amicably before it leads to a level that it may be traumatic to do so.

I hope my above two cents' worth helps to straighten up thing a little ...

Do take care!

Cheers, max