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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help. This section is sponsored by Yakuza.

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  #16  
Old 14-10-2018, 10:45 AM
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squiggle squiggle is offline
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Re: Hard to be malay abang in dating

Finding gf is not something easy. If we want to talk about relationship, sex and girls. We can even have a bachelor course for them, because girls are much more complex to understand than guys. As they have higher expectations for guys than guys looking for in them.

You can train up your body, mix around with more people as friends and just putting relationship as last/bonus.

Girls looking for our qualities/personality, fashion sense, job, communication skill and etc.
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  #17  
Old 14-10-2018, 01:43 PM
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arsenal_84 arsenal_84 is offline
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Re: Hard to be malay abang in dating

well, i'll too have a long time of being single.
frankly speaking, i hardly have the urge to go into dating despite my mom harping on my age and changing careers every 2 to 3 years.
completed my part time degree late into my early 30s and is still in the midst of establishing my career, particularly seeking jobs with better work life balance.

maybe once you completed your degree, can consider SDN events then see how it goes.
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Last edited by arsenal_84; 14-10-2018 at 11:05 PM.
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  #18  
Old 14-10-2018, 09:20 PM
chaoslord chaoslord is offline
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Re: Hard to be malay abang in dating

My advice: focus on your studies and ensure you have a good career. $$$ goes a long way in the dating world.

You are young which is a disadvantage relative to your older peers race notwithstanding. The truth is the older you get the better you become in terms of attractiveness to the opposite gender. Men mature later, and based on your post your insecurities shows through. Stop playing the victim card, Man up, realise the world is “unfair” and get on with it.
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  #19  
Old 15-10-2018, 12:57 AM
Timidshyboy Timidshyboy is offline
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Re: Hard to be malay abang in dating

Thank you all for the wonderful insights. Im currently not looking to date someone. I'll leave it to fate at the moment. Now I wanna focus in building a career. I do get lonely sometimes as no one really understands me except for some girl with a cat photo I matched on tinder. Neither of us showed our real face but our conversation was so deep that it's like I'm literally talking to someone I've known for decades. It's weird. I really want to meet that girl with that cat photos in real life. But I think I shared too much regarding how horny am I hahaha
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  #20  
Old 15-10-2018, 09:21 PM
TomMAffolter TomMAffolter is offline
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Re: Hard to be malay abang in dating

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Originally Posted by Timidshyboy View Post
I'm Malay 22 this year.
Height about 162, weight 60 kg not fat just built.

I find it hard to date as I find even Chinese guys uglier than me are able to get decent dates. I know I'm short but I don't want to use height as an excuse. I've been told that I look like a monkey all my life. It hurts me but I don't take it to heart. I tried setting up okc and tinder and no luck. I don't even get matches on tinder. Like not even 3 for a week. The remaining are catfish's.

Im tired of buying commercial sex. I want to find someone to love and be with. It's depressing when you have no looks, no height and still can't find a decent date.

I tried to cat fish as a Chinese dude with decent photo and got like 20 matches instantly. And I tried asking the girls of all races and their answers towards dating Malay guys is that they arent smart and don't look to be potential partners due to religion. Yes even Malay girls say the same thing.

Am I doomed? Any bros here who have gone through the same thing and still end up with decent girls? I don't go club, drinking, I don't engage prostitutes anymore.

Even friends don't want intro me cause they think I'm Malay and automatically assume I'm stupid.

Nothing wrong with my fashion sense or anything for that matter. I have good hygiene good smell told my people around me but I just can't find a decent girl online. It's frustrating.
Pretend you are a girl and you saw a guy make a post like you just did, would you think wow this is a real man, that would one day protect me and make my life better, or would you think what a weak pitiful man.
The truth is you ARE SHORT, and thats a big disqualifier, i dont know if you are UGLY but maybe you are, in singapore maybe being malay is a disadvantage. THESE ARE FACTS, you cannot change that by going online and seeking ADVICE or seeking consolation. THIS CAN ONLY BE ameliorated by MAKING LOTS of MONEY so you can be SHORT BUT RICH, get plastic surgery and not be so UGLY, have money to move to say INDONESIA where men are not so tall and being malay isnt a disavantage.
BUT HONESTLY as you are not ignoring you obvious disadvantages you are a weak and pitiful speciman of a man and for that fact alone you wont get much interest from women
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  #21  
Old 15-10-2018, 10:01 PM
Timidshyboy Timidshyboy is offline
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Re: Hard to be malay abang in dating

Quote:
Originally Posted by TomMAffolter View Post
Pretend you are a girl and you saw a guy make a post like you just did, would you think wow this is a real man, that would one day protect me and make my life better, or would you think what a weak pitiful man.
The truth is you ARE SHORT, and thats a big disqualifier, i dont know if you are UGLY but maybe you are, in singapore maybe being malay is a disadvantage. THESE ARE FACTS, you cannot change that by going online and seeking ADVICE or seeking consolation. THIS CAN ONLY BE ameliorated by MAKING LOTS of MONEY so you can be SHORT BUT RICH, get plastic surgery and not be so UGLY, have money to move to say INDONESIA where men are not so tall and being malay isnt a disavantage.
BUT HONESTLY as you are not ignoring you obvious disadvantages you are a weak and pitiful speciman of a man and for that fact alone you wont get much interest from women
Exact answer I was looking for. It's so bold yet straight forward. I really can't thank you enough. Everyone been sugar coating saying it's not my race and my height. Now that you mentioned it, I think I can safely just retreat back so I don't get hurt any further. The truth hurts but I'm willing to accept my fate as a lonely ugly Malay men who can't even get a women to love. Even with all the confidence I have, I still would be shortchange due to height and race. Money does make you look better but I'm not in pursuit of money. So yeah, I can understand why your post sounds harsh but it's the truth.

I now can live a life where im not oblivious about my looks, height and race. I know where I stand now. May look ugly that I'll probably die alone but oh well... That's what happen you're born under a Malay family who are short. But no worries, I'll try my best to keep myself happy. I know I can 🙂
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  #22  
Old 15-10-2018, 10:10 PM
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Re: Hard to be malay abang in dating

Quote:
Originally Posted by Timidshyboy View Post
Exact answer I was looking for. It's so bold yet straight forward. I really can't thank you enough. Everyone been sugar coating saying it's not my race and my height. Now that you mentioned it, I think I can safely just retreat back so I don't get hurt any further. The truth hurts but I'm willing to accept my fate as a lonely ugly Malay men who can't even get a women to love. Even with all the confidence I have, I still would be shortchange due to height and race. Money does make you look better but I'm not in pursuit of money. So yeah, I can understand why your post sounds harsh but it's the truth.

I now can live a life where im not oblivious about my looks, height and race. I know where I stand now. May look ugly that I'll probably die alone but oh well... That's what happen you're born under a Malay family who are short. But no worries, I'll try my best to keep myself happy. I know I can 🙂
No one has been sugar coating anything at all. You have latched on to a very narrow line of reasoning on his entire post to carry on feeling sorry for yourself for being short/Malay/whatever and completely ignoring the upshot of his post, which is ‘you are a weak and pitiful specimen of a man’ (not even mainly because you are short/Malay/whatever).

Stay pathetic, seems to be doing you a world of good.



hi
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  #23  
Old 15-10-2018, 10:27 PM
Timidshyboy Timidshyboy is offline
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Re: Hard to be malay abang in dating

Quote:
Originally Posted by larue View Post
No one has been sugar coating anything at all. You have latched on to a very narrow line of reasoning on his entire post to carry on feeling sorry for yourself for being short/Malay/whatever and completely ignoring the upshot of his post, which is ‘you are a weak and pitiful specimen of a man’ (not even mainly because you are short/Malay/whatever).

Stay pathetic, seems to be doing you a world of good.



hi
Thanks man. Don't mind me, I'm a just a phatetic piece of meat typing through
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  #24  
Old 16-10-2018, 02:12 AM
TomMAffolter TomMAffolter is offline
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Re: Hard to be malay abang in dating

Quote:
Originally Posted by Timidshyboy View Post
Exact answer I was looking for. It's so bold yet straight forward. I really can't thank you enough. Everyone been sugar coating saying it's not my race and my height. Now that you mentioned it, I think I can safely just retreat back so I don't get hurt any further. The truth hurts but I'm willing to accept my fate as a lonely ugly Malay men who can't even get a women to love. Even with all the confidence I have, I still would be shortchange due to height and race. Money does make you look better but I'm not in pursuit of money. So yeah, I can understand why your post sounds harsh but it's the truth.

I now can live a life where im not oblivious about my looks, height and race. I know where I stand now. May look ugly that I'll probably die alone but oh well... That's what happen you're born under a Malay family who are short. But no worries, I'll try my best to keep myself happy. I know I can 🙂
Well those are the two choices you have ACCEPT who you are and you place in the social pecking order, ie the tallest most handsome, most desirable racial background wins, find your own happiness, or CHANGE and that needs MONEY, and if you not in pursuit of money then you really only got one path. Complaining and wishing the world is more just and fair isnt gonna change, just like the cow/chicken doesnt complain that ist whole purpose is to be killed and eaten.
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  #25  
Old 16-10-2018, 03:29 AM
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Re: Hard to be malay abang in dating

try JB lah

got a short and ugly Malay friend who got married to a Malaysian girl.

since you said you are not that bad looking, I'm sure you can find a good ones.

why set your sight so near, should set it far far.

Local girls are just too superficial.
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  #26  
Old 17-10-2018, 06:07 PM
peanodood1337 peanodood1337 is offline
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Re: Hard to be malay abang in dating

Quote:
Originally Posted by Timidshyboy View Post
Thanks man. Don't mind me, I'm a just a phatetic piece of meat typing through
Dude do you want tough love or TLC?

If you're looking for morale boosters and insincere cheerleading, you can get it from your friends and family any time. "Oh you'll meet someone eventually! Just be yourself and the person who love you for who you are will appear!" Is that what you wanna hear?

You came here with a problem and when some bros gave you a dose of brutal honesty, you did the passive-aggressive "don't mind me I'm just a pathetic guy" schtick. Seriously man if you wanna fix your problem, you gotta cut this nonsense out. Its really disgusting for a guy to behave like this. Even without taking your physical attributes into the equation, you have already lost out to so many other guys because of your attitude.

Larue has given you some pretty good ideas to follow through on. Work on yourself. Be someone that you would wanna date if you are a girl. Ok you're short but so what? If you have other positive traits (e.g. good conversationalist, humorous, generous, treats girls right, rich enough to wine-and-dine etc.), you can more than make up for it.

And playing the race card because you can't get a date? You gotta be joking. I see Malay guys with Chinese gfs on the streets from time to time. And nope, its not like those guys are super tall or handsome either. Be honest - you're just making excuses for yourself here.

Above all else, lose the self-pitying attitude. Its terribly unattractive. Even as a guy, I wouldn't wanna be your friend cos evidently, you are too self-absorbed and depressing to be around with. Think about it, it takes time to make money, time to train up a fit bod, time to cultivate sophistication. But you can change your attitude IMMEDIATELY.

So wake up and smell the coffee dude. Lose the loser mentality. You are young, with lots of potential for growth. Don't waste the best years of your life feeling sorry for yourself.

Good luck.

Last edited by peanodood1337; 17-10-2018 at 06:21 PM. Reason: Tried to be more kind...
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  #27  
Old 18-10-2018, 12:42 AM
devilborne87 devilborne87 is offline
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Re: Hard to be malay abang in dating

Being single is nothing. Try improving yourself...be chill....dun be a despo......be friendly and nice....u will meet someone who will like you.....
Been through it....was single for 7 years...life continues....

FYI : when u r single....u want to be attached.....when u r attached....you miss being single
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  #28  
Old 19-10-2018, 12:38 PM
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Re: Hard to be malay abang in dating

Don't be too hard on yourself

Sometimes when you don't try too hard to find it, it comes to you.
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  #29  
Old 20-10-2018, 09:50 AM
EtherC EtherC is offline
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Re: Hard to be malay abang in dating

“Oh fate Oh how it fucks with me... so sad”

Yea well fate fucks with everyone and for some it fucks them through the nose!

You are part of the 2nd largest race in Sg , privileged enough to attend uni, can afford to go to a gym , go out makan with your friends, has access to internet/clean water/air conditioning etc.

Farmers in Indonesia villages earn just 5 dollars a day. They go without tap water, mcdonalds, education & work under the sun all day.

By whining here doesn’t it make u seem worse off than a poor indonesian farmer who can get a wife despite such limited resources? Its not what you have or are that matters, its what you make of it.
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  #30  
Old 21-10-2018, 11:45 PM
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randyrockhard randyrockhard is offline
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Re: Hard to be malay abang in dating

Ask yourself this question.

Would you date YOU? in whatever permutations possible, just see how you could improve yourself. If you are still studying, focus on your studies, be really good at something that you could use for your future.

Practice speaking and listening to women. Start with the ones you are not too intimidated with. And gradually build your confidence from there.

Women.. be them old or young, would gravitate towards confident men, successful men.

I can tell you a real life story about a Malay Singaporean 40 something guy who isn't exactly the best looking bunch, but he drives a BMW and live in a Condo and he dates women from various countries.

Why do you think we hardly see a good-looking young guy in a Lamborghini/Porsche but old balding men? Because if you don't compensate your lack of good looks with something else (wealth, communication skill) .. you'll be screwed for life ....
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