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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.

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  #1  
Old 13-10-2018, 09:01 AM
Timidshyboy Timidshyboy is offline
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Hard to be malay abang in dating

I'm Malay 22 this year.
Height about 162, weight 60 kg not fat just built.

I find it hard to date as I find even Chinese guys uglier than me are able to get decent dates. I know I'm short but I don't want to use height as an excuse. I've been told that I look like a monkey all my life. It hurts me but I don't take it to heart. I tried setting up okc and tinder and no luck. I don't even get matches on tinder. Like not even 3 for a week. The remaining are catfish's.

Im tired of buying commercial sex. I want to find someone to love and be with. It's depressing when you have no looks, no height and still can't find a decent date.

I tried to cat fish as a Chinese dude with decent photo and got like 20 matches instantly. And I tried asking the girls of all races and their answers towards dating Malay guys is that they arent smart and don't look to be potential partners due to religion. Yes even Malay girls say the same thing.

Am I doomed? Any bros here who have gone through the same thing and still end up with decent girls? I don't go club, drinking, I don't engage prostitutes anymore.

Even friends don't want intro me cause they think I'm Malay and automatically assume I'm stupid.

Nothing wrong with my fashion sense or anything for that matter. I have good hygiene good smell told my people around me but I just can't find a decent girl online. It's frustrating.
  #2  
Old 13-10-2018, 09:38 AM
JacqueMerlin JacqueMerlin is offline
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Re: Hard to be malay abang in dating

Quote:
Originally Posted by Timidshyboy View Post
I'm Malay 22 this year.
Height about 162, weight 60 kg not fat just built.

I find it hard to date as I find even Chinese guys uglier than me are able to get decent dates. I know I'm short but I don't want to use height as an excuse. I've been told that I look like a monkey all my life. It hurts me but I don't take it to heart. I tried setting up okc and tinder and no luck. I don't even get matches on tinder. Like not even 3 for a week. The remaining are catfish's.

Im tired of buying commercial sex. I want to find someone to love and be with. It's depressing when you have no looks, no height and still can't find a decent date.

I tried to cat fish as a Chinese dude with decent photo and got like 20 matches instantly. And I tried asking the girls of all races and their answers towards dating Malay guys is that they arent smart and don't look to be potential partners due to religion. Yes even Malay girls say the same thing.

Am I doomed? Any bros here who have gone through the same thing and still end up with decent girls? I don't go club, drinking, I don't engage prostitutes anymore.

Even friends don't want intro me cause they think I'm Malay and automatically assume I'm stupid.

Nothing wrong with my fashion sense or anything for that matter. I have good hygiene good smell told my people around me but I just can't find a decent girl online. It's frustrating.
Do you have a good career? Do you have an outgoing personality? Do you have a car? Date beyond the nationality and race.
  #3  
Old 13-10-2018, 09:44 AM
Timidshyboy Timidshyboy is offline
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Re: Hard to be malay abang in dating

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Originally Posted by JacqueMerlin View Post
Do you have a good career? Do you have an outgoing personality? Do you have a car? Date beyond the nationality and race.
I'm still studying my degree. So I don't have any at the moment. But I see my chinese friend who's more in debt than me also can find girl on tinder and worse, he make them pay for their dates. Boast to me how easy it is to get tinder girls if you're Chinese. The girls just willingly to out just cause of his okish looks. Looks more like beng study ite only
  #4  
Old 13-10-2018, 12:17 PM
larue larue is offline
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Re: Hard to be malay abang in dating

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and thinking how other people have it better or easier than yourself.

And stop with your stupid elitist attitude. You think you are somehow better than somebody who studies in ITE?

Work on yourself. Go and do fun stuff that young people are doing. I see a lot of them doing climbing, and they seem so good at it! Must do wonders for their confidence.

You have no confidence, and worse still, you think you are better than other people.

As JM asked, what are you good at? Besides judging and despising people.

There is nothing you can do about things you cannot control, like people assuming you’re stupid. You can only control what you can do for yourself to make yourself feel good.

Women love guys who are sure of themselves, comfortable in their own skin. You have to break out of your own mental prison.

Btw, you somehow think Chinese girls > Malay girls izit?
  #5  
Old 13-10-2018, 12:23 PM
Timidshyboy Timidshyboy is offline
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Re: Hard to be malay abang in dating

Quote:
Originally Posted by larue View Post
Stop feeling sorry for yourself and thinking how other people have it better or easier than yourself.

And stop with your stupid elitist attitude. You think you are somehow better than somebody who studies in ITE?

Work on yourself. Go and do fun stuff that young people are doing. I see a lot of them doing climbing, and they seem so good at it! Must do wonders for their confidence.

You have no confidence, and worse still, you think you are better than other people.

As JM asked, what are you good at? Besides judging and despising people.

There is nothing you can do about things you cannot control, like people assuming you’re stupid. You can only control what you can do for yourself to make yourself feel good.

Women love guys who are sure of themselves, comfortable in their own skin. You have to break out of your own mental prison.

Btw, you somehow think Chinese girls > Malay girls izit?
It bugs me that people assume my beng friend who honestly isn't smart (not saying school wise) is smart and very interesting. I tried pairing with the same girl on tinder and on my friend account asks what does she think of me based on my photos, she thought i looked dumb. Called me a monkey before unmatching me.

I'm not saying Chinese girls > Malay girls. The fact is, even as a Malay guy, I can't even get a date girls from my own race. It's really depressing
  #6  
Old 13-10-2018, 12:33 PM
meanbow meanbow is offline
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Re: Hard to be malay abang in dating

Quote:
Originally Posted by Timidshyboy View Post
I tried asking the girls of all races and their answers towards dating Malay guys is that they arent smart and don't look to be potential partners due to religion.

Even friends don't want intro me cause they think I'm Malay and automatically assume I'm stupid.
You wouldn't want to date a superficial girl either. Not all malays are stupid. Let people think what they want. You can't control them. Being stereotyped sucks, but you can only live with it, ignore it. Religion issue can't be helped though, unless you're willing to convert.

I don't know how smart you are, but if your friends assume you're stupid, you need to reconsider who are your actual friends. Then again, you mentioned that you are currently studying for your degree. If that makes you stupid, then they aren't much better.

You don't need to be so eager to enter a relationship just for the sake of it. Take your time, improve on yourself, find a girl you're actually compatible with in terms of interests, sense of humor, etc.
  #7  
Old 13-10-2018, 12:45 PM
Timidshyboy Timidshyboy is offline
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Re: Hard to be malay abang in dating

Quote:
Originally Posted by meanbow View Post
You wouldn't want to date a superficial girl either. Not all malays are stupid. Let people think what they want. You can't control them. Being stereotyped sucks, but you can only live with it, ignore it. Religion issue can't be helped though, unless you're willing to convert.

I don't know how smart you are, but if your friends assume you're stupid, you need to reconsider who are your actual friends. Then again, you mentioned that you are currently studying for your degree. If that makes you stupid, then they aren't much better.

You don't need to be so eager to enter a relationship just for the sake of it. Take your time, improve on yourself, find a girl you're actually compatible with in terms of interests, sense of humor, etc.
I'm really trying to. I thought getting a nice body would improve or change my fashion. Get a nice haircut but it's not even working. The girls I meet totally ignore me probably due to my height, not saying in super short. Short not as tall as my other friends. Friend bring me to club to introduce me to some girls but they aren't interested cause well... I'm the only Malay among the group. It sucks that I'm being stereotype for my skin color and race. I don't want to use race as an excuse.

I can't think of meeting girls anywhere else besides clubs and pubs. And I'm not the passive kind. I'm kinda introverted when I'm in a group.

I guess maybe doing something that I like which is photography would be okay but sadly there's no one to take pictures with. And I have more guy friends sadly
  #8  
Old 13-10-2018, 04:43 PM
youmee youmee is offline
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Re: Hard to be malay abang in dating

Show a picture of your body without head.

I would suggest you go get your body into shape.short guy gets compensated if they are built nicely. I doubt it's about race. I have seen ugly skinny Malay with pretty Chinese babes.

Maybe being a introvert is one of your problem.

Anyway, you just need to find that ONE. And you are still studying for degree. So why the rush?

Upgrade yourself constantly, the right one will come along.

And pls understand, No Money, No Honey. Go built your career. The rest will fall in place.
  #9  
Old 13-10-2018, 09:05 PM
Timidshyboy Timidshyboy is offline
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Re: Hard to be malay abang in dating

Quote:
Originally Posted by youmee View Post
Show a picture of your body without head.

I would suggest you go get your body into shape.short guy gets compensated if they are built nicely. I doubt it's about race. I have seen ugly skinny Malay with pretty Chinese babes.

Maybe being a introvert is one of your problem.

Anyway, you just need to find that ONE. And you are still studying for degree. So why the rush?

Upgrade yourself constantly, the right one will come along.

And pls understand, No Money, No Honey. Go built your career. The rest will fall in place.
I have a 4 pack, chiselled top and shoulders. Basically my body similar to Conor McGregor. Wide top just that I short.

So almost everyone here suggest that I just enjoy life slowly and take my time right
  #10  
Old 13-10-2018, 09:25 PM
fion.18 fion.18 is offline
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Re: Hard to be malay abang in dating

just focus on your studies and at being a better you.

whether is it being fitter, stronger or happier. the focus of your life has to be you.

one day when your career is established, that new found confidence (along with a deeper pocket) will come and that, is what attracts women.

and by then, the world will be your oyster.
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  #11  
Old 13-10-2018, 09:51 PM
Timidshyboy Timidshyboy is offline
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Re: Hard to be malay abang in dating

Quote:
Originally Posted by fion.18 View Post
just focus on your studies and at being a better you.

whether is it being fitter, stronger or happier. the focus of your life has to be you.

one day when your career is established, that new found confidence (along with a deeper pocket) will come and that, is what attracts women.

and by then, the world will be your oyster.
Sucks that I've never had a girlfriend or even remotely dating. Scared by the time when I start building my career, I don't have time to find love and build relationship with her. My cousins and friends are slowly either attached or about to tie the knot while they are still in ns, or working or finish studying then theres me
  #12  
Old 13-10-2018, 09:58 PM
fion.18 fion.18 is offline
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Re: Hard to be malay abang in dating

Quote:
Originally Posted by Timidshyboy View Post
Sucks that I've never had a girlfriend or even remotely dating. Scared by the time when I start building my career, I don't have time to find love and build relationship with her. My cousins and friends are slowly either attached or about to tie the knot while they are still in ns, or working or finish studying then theres me
life isn’t a competition and there is no hurry.

when the right one comes, she comes.

doesn’t mean marry at 20 then happily ever after already okay.

many of us start dating late. it doesn’t matter. it’s all about right person at the right time. good luck!
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  #13  
Old 13-10-2018, 10:13 PM
larue larue is offline
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Re: Hard to be malay abang in dating

Everything you’re doing is just trying to impress girls. Girls can tell and it won’t get you anywhere. Just do things that will make you happy and confident.

Get passionate about something. Photography? Go enjoy it, who cares if there are girls into it. Women love to hear a man passionate about something because a man with no passions is a total bore.

Also you’re young, you can’t really do anything about that. As Fion said, eventually the world can be your oyster. It really is up to you and you have a lot more going for you than most.

Just DIY when you get the urge rather than feel sorry for yourself about not having somebody to fuck. You’re not about to run out of jizz anytime soon.

Last edited by larue; 13-10-2018 at 10:13 PM. Reason: Spelling
  #14  
Old 14-10-2018, 01:13 AM
Timidshyboy Timidshyboy is offline
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Re: Hard to be malay abang in dating

Quote:
Originally Posted by larue View Post
Everything you’re doing is just trying to impress girls. Girls can tell and it won’t get you anywhere. Just do things that will make you happy and confident.

Get passionate about something. Photography? Go enjoy it, who cares if there are girls into it. Women love to hear a man passionate about something because a man with no passions is a total bore.

Also you’re young, you can’t really do anything about that. As Fion said, eventually the world can be your oyster. It really is up to you and you have a lot more going for you than most.

Just DIY when you get the urge rather than feel sorry for yourself about not having somebody to fuck. You’re not about to run out of jizz anytime soon.
I used to be happier when I didn't go to the gym and got myself fit
  #15  
Old 14-10-2018, 10:38 AM
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nitecrawllerr nitecrawllerr is offline
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Re: Hard to be malay abang in dating

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Originally Posted by Timidshyboy View Post
I used to be happier when I didn't go to the gym and got myself fit
TS, ur still young. Concentrate on ur studies and thereafter career. Once u r financially stable, no worry. Rem, no money no honey.
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