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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.

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  #16  
Old 09-01-2019, 12:48 PM
nanakochang75 nanakochang75 is offline
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Re: Self-justification

Quote:
Originally Posted by leakypipes View Post
Ts, your wife needs professional help. And if she is unwilling to do it herself, you should consult professional psychologist/psychiatrist, and maybe contact imh to get advice on what your options are to force her into care.

It's very painful for you and for her and also for kid. But ts, you have to see bigger picture and make sure she gets the care she needs.

I am not a professional. But I'm looking at your story from your wife's perspective. I'm a sufferer of depression, anxiety, and a certain degree of psychosis and paranoia. I waited very long before I sought help. The drugs allowed me to function as a worker and a parent.

But sad to tell you, cures are rare and don't come quickly. Mental illness is almost like life sentence. Coping strategies through medication or some other stuff is necessary.

Also not surprised your wife reject treatment. To accept is to acknowledge that something is wrong. Can't be us. Must be other people got something wrong. Also there's a fear of being stigmatized. Even for me, right now I would be doing better if I had some help/medication, but I'm still refusing it.

I've told my wife before that I'm sorry I'm like this, we have other problems between us, but at least my mental state is an open problem we can discuss. She's a part of the cause but not all of it.

Anyway ts- get help. Get advice.
Thanks for sharing, i have asked my wife to see a psychologist at the polyclinic this Friday and i really hope that this time round, things will improve.

She knows that she is the main problem for the unhappiness in the family but she said that she cannot help it... just like a drug addict who cannot stop taking drugs.. i cannot do anything to help.

Keeping finger crossed..
  #17  
Old 09-01-2019, 12:52 PM
nanakochang75 nanakochang75 is offline
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Re: Self-justification

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Originally Posted by larue View Post
Unless he can convince the police that she poses a danger to either herself or other persons, there is no way to force her to seek treatment. Unless it is clearly life threatening, no one can be forcefully compelled to seek psychiatric treatment.

He did say she has undergone treatment, but he has not provided any information on how she has responded to any of the treatments.
She did calm down on the on start of medication but she blamed the drugs for her weight gain and started to take them on irregular basis. Now the medication has ran out but she is not keen to go back to the psychiatrist and the problem comes back that we can start a bug quarrel over super trivial matters. Damn shag thinking about it...
  #18  
Old 09-01-2019, 08:28 PM
fallen11 fallen11 is offline
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Re: Self-justification

Quote:
Originally Posted by nanakochang75 View Post
She did calm down on the on start of medication but she blamed the drugs for her weight gain and started to take them on irregular basis. Now the medication has ran out but she is not keen to go back to the psychiatrist and the problem comes back that we can start a bug quarrel over super trivial matters. Damn shag thinking about it...
Why go polyclinic?
Should just directly go to IMH outpatient.
I used to suffer from sleep disorder and just go IMH directly to see the doc.
They more specialised in dealing with mental issues. Though i dont have high hopes from IMH doctors, still probably much more effective than polyclinics......
  #19  
Old 10-01-2019, 10:25 AM
larue larue is offline
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Re: Self-justification

Quote:
Originally Posted by nanakochang75 View Post
She did calm down on the on start of medication but she blamed the drugs for her weight gain and started to take them on irregular basis. Now the medication has ran out but she is not keen to go back to the psychiatrist and the problem comes back that we can start a bug quarrel over super trivial matters. Damn shag thinking about it...
I don’t think there’s anything else to add really. You can choose to put up with it, and seek sexual relief elsewhere.

But you really really need to think about how this is affecting your son because you owe that to him.

If you think it’s bad enough that it affects his mental state, and the signs aren’t always easily obvious, then you cannot let the situation persist. Nothing fucks a child up more than a atraumatic childhood.

If you compel her and yet she will not change, and you decide that it is better for you and your child to be free of her, start making the necessary preparations.

It’s not just about sex, it’s about your son.
  #20  
Old 14-01-2019, 05:45 PM
BigWorry BigWorry is offline
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Re: Self-justification

You have a lovely family. Whether or not your wife has a problem. Your have your son who will grow u in a family you have control in right now. You want him to have parents separated or a father who goes out to satisfy his own relief? If you have done that whenever you come home you will distance from your family even more.

Also, be mindful if you decide to find FL. Read up on the risks of getting HIV and STDs. Don't regret your actions.

Decision is up to you. Make informed decision.
  #21  
Old 19-01-2019, 10:48 AM
visualman visualman is offline
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Smile Re: Self-justification

Women.. most of them longs for affirmation, words of comfort, affections (lots of them) and moral supports.

For men.. we dont even understand what those words mean

I am not an expert on this matter.. but maybe if you try to put some action to materliase those abstract concepts in paragraph one.. you might see some changes.

Dont solely focus on the OCD.. focus on how you can win back her heart and trust. Do the extra miles on small things that make her happy (play with ur son.. do house chores.. etc). Hopefully this can deepen your "connection" and trust with her. If this can be achieved, hopefully two of you can work together to face the OCD. She will feel more "supported" and loved.
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