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Penang / Butterworth An Island Paradise in more ways than one.

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  #406  
Old 10-10-2012, 12:29 AM
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Re: Pearl of the Orient

There's a man who has fifty inch long penis. But he can't get any sex, because every woman who sees it faints at the sight. So he goes to the doctor and begs him to shorten it. But the doctor refuses - he can't shorten a perfectly good penis, he tells the man, but he does happen to know a witch who lives in the forest. She might be able to help.

Because he's so desperate he decides he'll go and see her, though of course he thinks it's all a bit odd. But he sets off into the forest and sure enough finds the witch sitting in front of her cottage casting spells. "Witch," he says, "please help me, I have a fifty inch long penis and no one will have sex with me!"

She takes one look at his massive cock and then says, "You do need my help. But you must go into the forest and find the magic frog who lives in the pond. Ask him to marry you, and each time he refuses, your penis will shrink by ten inches!"

Weird though this is, the man is desperate, so off he goes into the forest. And, sure enough, he finds the magic frog singing quietly to itself. "Froggy," he shouts, "please marry me!" The frog looks up, annoyed. "No!" he croaks, "I can't do that, seeing as how I'm a frog and you're a man." The guy looks down - sure enough, his penis has shrunk by ten inches! It's still a bit long for sex, he thinks, at forty inches, but he's delighted, so he shouts back at the frog: "Oh, go on, please marry me!"

"No - I told you once!" the frog croaks, "I can't do that!" The man looks down - sure enough, his penis has shrunk by ten inches again! It's now only thirty inches long! The guy thinks this is wonderful but, still, another ten inches off would be perfect!

"Frog," he roars across the pond, "please marry me!" The frog looks extremely annoyed, shakes his head and shouts, "No ..........NO.....AND FOR THE LAST TIME.........NO!"

You know what happened. NO!. KEKEKEKE
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  #407  
Old 10-10-2012, 11:33 AM
Scorpioking87 Scorpioking87 is offline
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Re: Pearl of the Orient

Morale of the story is 'be contented with what u have' and more importantly, do not go to witches to solve ur problems..
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  #408  
Old 10-10-2012, 04:50 PM
ultraeqd1987 ultraeqd1987 is offline
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Re: Pearl of the Orient

Thanks brothers here who PM me the OKT contact of AC.

This is my first FR of the place - so I will also write a few lines setting up the scene.

Went there for an adventure. Called up the Albert, friendly enough chap. No problem parking, limited spots though - so might be a problem on weekends. Drove in at 7:00pm - already 2 of the best girls have been booked for all nighters. I've never been to AC, the rooms are fairly clean - budget hotel standard. Weekdays not busy at all it would seem. The specialty of AC is of course Westerners/Middle Easterners and exotics (to us), I can tap that. Be prepared though for a significant attitude shift in work ethics and habits of the girls compared the usual PRC and Tomyams.

Still a very good selection was available - at least 12 girls. Some stunners (IMHO, YMMV), some a bit chubby. Now the interesting thing is, the room was fairly small - some of the girls discreetly took a seat in the corner out my eye direct line of sight. Some girls sat directly in front of me and were very friendly. As luck would have it - I let my little bro do my thinking and chose a good looking black haired Russki that was sitting by the corner. She was a looker but she was more interested in chatting with her friends than me at the moment. As I said, little bro was doing the thinking.

Name: Katerina
Age: 20+ (looks 20+; below 30 for sure)
Origin: Sunny St. Petersburg, Russia
Look: 8/10 - black long hair, slim and fit. some acne on face
Boobs: 5/10 - no boobs to really speak of. Not enough to full handfull.
Ass: 7/10 - Nice enough I guess from the looks of it - it was precious enough to make sure my hands don't get too close to it.
Body: 8.5/10 - Tall, the body type I like - slim.
Shower: 3.0 she gave me a shower... I can take the same shower at home...
Catbath and Foreplay: 2.0 - HAHAHA! No touchy here, no touchy there.
CBJ: 5/10 - CBJ, I've had much better. Today she does CBJ, no mood today to BBBJ me I guess.
FJ: 4/10
RTF: Too many fishes to try before tapping that again

Explanation of low score 4/10 FJ:
She understands english, basically enough to say No, No, No. No kiss here, no kiss there. No do this, no do that. Everything condom - touch that must use condom. Since no kissing allowed, after shower - foreplay is limited to catbath which was restricted to one small section of my body - my right nipple - she loves my right nipple it seems because that's about all she licked - than straight away attack my mister happy (after putting on a cap).

BJ, Cowgirl, Doggie, Missionary, sidefuck and standing, already by the 1st hour complaining why I don't cum. I paid for 3 hours worth of fucking baby, I'm in it for the long haul... Girl don't like being touched, BJ was 90 degrees to the side away from my hands. Thighs always closed when not fucking so no touchy there, in fact her body language is "no touchy me"

But I'm a nice guy she say she wants to stop for a cigarette break - sigh... I say yes okay. Mistake. Smokes at the side of bed, smiled a lot but sits far away from me, no petting, rabba rabba or HJ. On top of that, utters Russian complaints when as her to do stuff. Also I get a long whine complaining when I ask why no kissing. Dr. No in bed, mood complete spoilt, erotic connection non-existent. Mr. Happy says fuck that I'm done and out of here.

Final summary:
Choose the girl that makes eye contact and is interested when you do the line up. Don't choose the good looking girls that are trying to hide from your view (by sitting in the corner). As luck would have it, bro Kisada has already posted a FR for Katerina on page 24 (i copied his format and changed my scores). She has the looks to be picked out from the line-up I guess; he got her on a better day, she liked him better and gave him a BBBJ, I got the CBJ - and a whole lot of "no touchy me" and "I'm on a smoke break" attitude. I've tapped angmoh poon before but I do know indifferent service when I see it, even by angmoh standards.

==========

Not an auspicious start on my AC adventures; but I am in it for the long haul baby! More fishes in that pond will post more FRs from that place once Mr. Happy and the wallet recharges!

Last edited by ultraeqd1987; 10-10-2012 at 05:13 PM. Reason: added some details
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  #409  
Old 10-10-2012, 05:24 PM
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Re: Pearl of the Orient

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scorpioking87 View Post
Morale of the story is 'be contented with what u have' and more importantly, do not go to witches to solve ur problems..
Frogs do terrible phalloplasties. Consult a reputable plastic surgeon for your penis modification needs.
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  #410  
Old 10-10-2012, 05:30 PM
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Re: Pearl of the Orient

Quote:
Originally Posted by sengseng View Post
.....

"Frog," he roars across the pond, "please marry me!" The frog looks extremely annoyed, shakes his head and shouts, "No ..........NO.....AND FOR THE LAST TIME.........NO!"

You know what happened. NO!. KEKEKEKE
The version I heard has the ending as:

The frog looks extremely annoyed, shakes his head and shouts, "No ..........NO.....A THOUSAND TIMES NO!"

This ending requires a lot more imagination....
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  #411  
Old 10-10-2012, 06:27 PM
Scorpioking87 Scorpioking87 is offline
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Re: Pearl of the Orient

Bro Ultra,

Thanks for such a colourful FR..it's been a while since anybody took the effort to write a long interesting one..liked the bit regarding the Dr No. and cigarette smoking half time break...too bad she din have the extra time or golden goal break at the end.

If u ask me, i think u should hv gotten a refund from our matey,Albert...still like u said, there r many other fishes in the pond..
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  #412  
Old 10-10-2012, 06:29 PM
Scorpioking87 Scorpioking87 is offline
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Re: Pearl of the Orient

Quote:
Originally Posted by ultraeqd1987 View Post
Frogs do terrible phalloplasties. Consult a reputable plastic surgeon for your penis modification needs.
U hv any surgeon to recommend bro?
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  #413  
Old 10-10-2012, 07:10 PM
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Re: Pearl of the Orient

Do u know whats A B C D E F G?
A Boy Can Do Everything For Girl

Now reverse da order,
Can u guess the full form of: G F E D C B A ?
Girls Forgets Everything Done
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  #414  
Old 10-10-2012, 07:20 PM
Scorpioking87 Scorpioking87 is offline
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Re: Pearl of the Orient

Quote:
Originally Posted by sengseng View Post
Do u know whats A B C D E F G?
A Boy Can Do Everything For Girl

Now reverse da order,
Can u guess the full form of: G F E D C B A ?
Girls Forgets Everything Done
Wat happen to the last three alphabets?
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  #415  
Old 11-10-2012, 09:11 AM
ZachBonano ZachBonano is offline
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Re: Pearl of the Orient

Quote:
Originally Posted by jconnor View Post
I have a lawyer friend in Klang who takes only criminal cases. He must have bourbon and a fuck in the morning before he goes to court. He claims he cant think clearly otherwise. On the occasions that I've stayed with him, its a norm to have escorts sent to him in the wee hours of the morning.



Do you have your own firm or do you work for someone bro?
I work for someone bro....
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  #416  
Old 11-10-2012, 09:23 AM
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Re: Pearl of the Orient

C B A- Complains Bout All
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  #417  
Old 11-10-2012, 11:55 AM
Scorpioking87 Scorpioking87 is offline
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Re: Pearl of the Orient

Quote:
Originally Posted by ZachBonano View Post
I work for someone bro....
working for someone has its own privilleges as well.....slowly but surely, u will be ur own boss soon...
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  #418  
Old 11-10-2012, 04:03 PM
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Re: Pearl of the Orient

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scorpioking87 View Post
Wat happen to the last three alphabets?
Girls Fuck Every Dick Cock Batang Available...(just as a joke k, really)
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  #419  
Old 11-10-2012, 05:13 PM
ZachBonano ZachBonano is offline
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Re: Pearl of the Orient

Quote:
Originally Posted by ultraeqd1987 View Post
Frogs do terrible phalloplasties. Consult a reputable plastic surgeon for your penis modification needs.
Thank you for the FR....keep it up bro...
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  #420  
Old 11-10-2012, 08:02 PM
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Re: Pearl of the Orient

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scorpioking87 View Post
Wat happen to the last three alphabets?
Your Guess is as good as mine.
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