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  #1  
Old 21-06-2009, 09:49 AM
mushroomplanter mushroomplanter is offline
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I need help and advice

Hi, I am new to this forum..Lately I have problems with my husband and our marriage is on the rock.He is always having DIYs session himself.

I really do not know what is happening between us.He doesn't really wants to do it with me.He says each time I am getting from bad to worst.

Can anyone out there be able to tell me what a guy really wants from a wife?

I am really vexed and confused....
  #2  
Old 21-06-2009, 02:36 PM
Greendevil Greendevil is offline
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Re: I need help and advice

can elaborate more abt your marriage history, like how old u both are, how long marriage, wat your sex rountine etc and also you mention your husband said u getting bad to worst, can elaborate more on this?
  #3  
Old 21-06-2009, 02:43 PM
sengmeng321 sengmeng321 is offline
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Re: I need help and advice

yes can pls elaborate more??? what do you mean by getting bad to worse.

if both of you are still on talking term, i don't see a reason why he prefer to DIY den have it with u.

but i undertand that for some guys, if they are angry with their partner, their brothers also follow and cannot stand up
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  #4  
Old 21-06-2009, 02:47 PM
Greendevil Greendevil is offline
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Re: I need help and advice

Mushroom, you actually mention two issues here:

First, marriage on rock which we need to know what u mean by this?Is it over the sex issue or others?What made u think so.?

Second, your fustration.So he DIY, but u never really mention why you felt fustrated?Is it he DIY, you not getting any, his complain abt you in bed or others?
  #5  
Old 21-06-2009, 02:48 PM
brudder brudder is offline
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Re: I need help and advice

Pls ensured both your relationship are ok, as in no frequent quarreling, arguments tat will directly affect yr sex life...& if his unhappiness is purely due to your sex performance...see how much u can accomodate to his request since u sound more concern than him...sometimes guy are selfish & refused to acknowlege that it take 2 hands to clap...but luckily just act on momentum...let us know more, ya?
  #6  
Old 21-06-2009, 02:54 PM
friend_mass friend_mass is offline
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Re: I need help and advice

what really happened that cause yr husband to DIY and said that u from bad to worse??? please give more detail?
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  #7  
Old 21-06-2009, 03:57 PM
sexcalculator99 sexcalculator99 is offline
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Re: I need help and advice

have to spice up your sex life...

Marriage is only beautiful when it's completed with a beautiful sex life..
  #8  
Old 21-06-2009, 04:09 PM
besafe besafe is offline
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Re: I need help and advice

Dear Sister,
Please go and seek professional help.
Do not delay or things can get worse.
Wish you all the best.

Cheers !!!
  #9  
Old 21-06-2009, 04:23 PM
Stud00 Stud00 is offline
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Re: I need help and advice

Dear T.S,

Firstly i salute you for being bold enough to take the initiative to "seek help" for your case. From the looks of it, i can see that you truly love your husband and that you treasure this marriage very much.

You mentioned that you were having some problems with your husband, Let's just face it, Problems occur in our everyday lives.. in our marriages, Relationships, careers and stuff. But i guess if it should happen in a marriage, it seriously takes two hands to clap. Sit down, have a non-confrontational talk with your husband and find out what exactly could be troubling him. Be Bold yet gentle enough to engage him. Personally, i feel that work stress could be one of the main factors for a man to withdraw from sex or behave in a non-functional way.

You mentioned too that he prefers to have DIY sessions on his own,does he do it while watching porn? If so, unfortunately, he MIGHT be addicted to porn. Studies show that when a individual, be it male or female pleasures themselves via masturbation, they tend to be hostile to their spouse or partners as they are engaged in a fantasy world on their own. BUT, all is not lost, a wise man once said that "Communication is the basis of life" if you don't communicated in a relationship, its over. Talk to him, find out what turns him on and stuff, Who knows, you might just spice out your sex life.

Lastly,
Do not go into a self destruction mode where you start blaming yourself and find that you are inferior. You are who you are and you gotta love and accept yourself this way. Cheer up!

Hope this helps..

Regards
  #10  
Old 21-06-2009, 05:27 PM
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liberatte liberatte is offline
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Re: I need help and advice

Hi TS,

First I do pity you because your husband DIY and not wanting you. On the other hand, at least he's screwing his own hand and not other pussy.

You should know this by now... men don't grow up although we grow old. We still want to have exitement all the time...
  #11  
Old 21-06-2009, 05:33 PM
apalucakap apalucakap is offline
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Re: I need help and advice

By the way, how do you know he is doing DIY? Have you seriously look at yourself first if your sex performance actually did deteriorates like ching chai, tidak apa type?
  #12  
Old 21-06-2009, 07:08 PM
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silverblue silverblue is offline
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Re: I need help and advice

Dear TS,

Can you post your picture so that we can understand the situation better?
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  #13  
Old 21-06-2009, 07:29 PM
steamer steamer is offline
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Re: I need help and advice

Quote:
Originally Posted by mushroomplanter View Post
Hi, I am new to this forum..Lately I have problems with my husband and our marriage is on the rock.He is always having DIYs session himself.

I really do not know what is happening between us.He doesn't really wants to do it with me.He says each time I am getting from bad to worst.

Can anyone out there be able to tell me what a guy really wants from a wife?

I am really vexed and confused....
sis,
have a good talk with him; find out wat he is unhappy over. do some research if he does not want to talk. read up or look for hints or tell tale signs.
good luck.
  #14  
Old 22-06-2009, 12:19 AM
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izerkudie izerkudie is offline
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Re: I need help and advice

TS sis, you have to understand, sometime sex isnt just about sex,
to guys, love is about sex, and sex is about making love, and more love, try to spice up the sex life and dont let sex to become a routine. like wearing different things at night, blue/red/pink, colors that turn on a guy, try out things u both havent try out before, all the best
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  #15  
Old 22-06-2009, 12:26 AM
Funky-Kuku Funky-Kuku is offline
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Re: I need help and advice

Actually, this is not the best place to seek advice on relationships. Why not consult a counsellor? If he's telling you that there is a problem, I think there's still hope of saving the marriage. If it's really no hope, I think he wouldn't even bother to waste his breath to tell you there are issues.

I also think it's still a small problem that he chose to DIY instead of having sex with you. When you see him satisfying himself at home, it's actually better than not seeing him DIY and wonder if he's satisfying himself through other means. It's a bigger problem if he satisfies himself using FL or a regular 3rd party like a fuckbuddy or mistress right?
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