My Agony

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An honorable member of the Coffee Shop Has Just Posted the Following:

It has been more than 30 days since I last "pang". My "pangs" are usually regular, within the 28 days cycle. I am agonisingly worried. Am I overdue because of? Err...I really hope not. I am certainly not ready to be a mother.

I spoke to him yeaterday (Day 30) and he said it could be work related stress. I thought so too given the hectic year plan meetings I had been through earlier this week. Perhaps it is the occasional smoking during meeting breaks that is causing some hormonal imbalance in my petite body.

I am tempted to run to Guardian to get a test kit today∼ I didn't as I felt a little shy.

I asked him via Whatsapp a while ago. What if...? He said, no worries, let's get married and I should make sure I can fit in my wedding gown in my first trimester.

Swine... I really don't give two hoots about the damn wedding gown. I am more worried about a life that I am going to bring into this world ∼ and whether I am ready for him or her. If I am not, I will probably abort.

Men are always men. I really do not need him to be responsible. Why does he need to act so macho but totally missing the crux by a thousand mile. I have the financial means to bring up my own child if I want to, though the agonising question of whether am I ready is creating speech bubbles in my dumbfounded thoughts.

I do feel a little nauseous in the mornings the last few days. But that could be because I have been skipping solid breakfast food and drinking matiscated vege juice.

Tomorrow is Day 31. Let's wait and see.


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