sexless marriage/relationship fr a female's perspective

[Ladyrain]

Originally Posted by jaguarbkk

Sex is just a part of a relationship. It does not represent everything. It adds on to the intimacy aspects of a relationship.

When a couple grows old, what matters most is the support and love for each other. If they still continue to have sex regularly, that will be a bonus.

My personal perspective.

Exactly. Up to you. But if you choose to see intimacy as an added bonus, you'll be much happier.
Because at the very least, you can get it satisfied elsewhere.
But the kind of support, trust and love, that someone who's been through thick and thin with you don't even let go.
Never choose the one who has not been through the worse of the worse with you.
Stay with the one who stuck by you when you had nothing.

[Peacekeeping]

Originally Posted by Ladyrain

Exactly. Up to you. But if you choose to see intimacy as an added bonus, you'll be much happier.
Because at the very least, you can get it satisfied elsewhere.
But the kind of support, trust and love, that someone who's been through thick and thin with you don't even let go.
Never choose the one who has not been through the worse of the worse with you.
Stay with the one who stuck by you when you had nothing.

Quite hard to find in modern society when people treat marriage as a piece of paper. Would you stuck by your husband if he has nothing?

[Ladyrain]

Originally Posted by Peacekeeping

Quite hard to find in modern society when people treat marriage as a piece of paper. Would you stuck by your husband if he has nothing?

Yes. For better or worse, till death do us apart. If he has given his best and tried all efforts to keep it going, what kind of person are you to give up after you made a vow?
Do you expect him to abandon you if you are crippled? If all he has is that $10 and he did not hesitate to give you $9.90, what reasons do you have to walk away?
Unless he kept that $10, and left you to struggle.. it's not about who is there to enjoy life with you. It's about who is still there to shoulder the burden and trudge on with you when you have nothing at all .

[jaguarbkk]

Originally Posted by Peacekeeping

Quite hard to find in modern society when people treat marriage as a piece of paper. Would you stuck by your husband if he has nothing?

It is hard but possible.

$$$ is always important. Life is realistic. We cannot deny. I have seen many couples happily living their life even though they are not earning alot. It is possible if both have the same level of expectation.

[Peacekeeping]

Originally Posted by jaguarbkk

It is hard but possible.

$$$ is always important. Life is realistic. We cannot deny. I have seen many couples happily living their life even though they are not earning alot. It is possible if both have the same level of expectation.

Usually pretty gals have very high expectations. Cui gals won’t even bother to dress up, let alone expect you to bring her to expensive restaurant.

[Peacekeeping]

Originally Posted by Ladyrain

Yes. For better or worse, till death do us apart. If he has given his best and tried all efforts to keep it going, what kind of person are you to give up after you made a vow?
Do you expect him to abandon you if you are crippled? If all he has is that $10 and he did not hesitate to give you $9.90, what reasons do you have to walk away?
Unless he kept that $10, and left you to struggle.. it's not about who is there to enjoy life with you. It's about who is still there to shoulder the burden and trudge on with you when you have nothing at all .

You have a heart of gold. You must have very good upbringing. Sadly most people are selfish. If you want to give your heart, choose wisely and give to the right man.

[piichai]

Originally Posted by jaguarbkk

Sex is just a part of a relationship. It does not represent everything. It adds on to the intimacy aspects of a relationship.

When a couple grows old, what matters most is the support and love for each other. If they still continue to have sex regularly, that will be a bonus.

My personal perspective.

well said i hv the same feeling

[piichai]

Originally Posted by Ladyrain

Yes. For better or worse, till death do us apart. If he has given his best and tried all efforts to keep it going, what kind of person are you to give up after you made a vow?
Do you expect him to abandon you if you are crippled? If all he has is that $10 and he did not hesitate to give you $9.90, what reasons do you have to walk away?
Unless he kept that $10, and left you to struggle.. it's not about who is there to enjoy life with you. It's about who is still there to shoulder the burden and trudge on with you when you have nothing at all .

well said i hv the same feeling

[driedlemon3]

Thanks everyone who contributed your thots, share your stories here about intimacy. I always learn something from other people's perspective and experience. at the moment, i felt very at peace to focus on myself. being with yourself can be happy n fulfilling as well if you bring in meaningful activities into your life. intimacy is always with a special someone, not everyone can have that special someone for life. sometimes their role in your life is over, u just have to let them go n be at peace.

[BatamBro]

Originally Posted by driedlemon3

I have read alot here abt bros talking abt their sad sexless life.... all of us go into a relationship cos there was an initial attraction, we call it love n eventually we got married n hv kids. Technically that shd be the pinnacles of happiness but not so behind closed door. Many women also talk abt their sexless lives, just no equivalent of SBF for us to start a thread and discuss openly. No we didn't let ourselves go n turn into an ugly fat potato nor do we binge on Korean drama. most of us wanted so much for intimacy too but somehow I guess both sides take each other for granted, no more sweet words, act of service n slowly both sides don't feel loved anymore. For men, it's impt to connect thru sex to feel loved. For us, we need to feel loved in daily life to want to have sex. We feel resentful as our man only hug n kiss us when he wants sex, otherwise we felt like leper that he won't even touch or notice we hv a new dress or look gd on an occasion. The resentment actually builds up n when our man initiates sex we pretended to do other things to avoid it cos it felt empty. Too many of us felt this way n some actually go ahead to cheat on the marriage. It's a sad vicious cycle. I wrote all these here not because I want to blame our men here. It's more to make aware that the rejection in the bedroom is often an emotion already building up over months and years. It's not about how much our man earn, how he looks, it's a build up of feeling of unloved. It's just a sharing, not trying to pick a fight with anyone.

exactly what I have been doing as a partner to keep the fire burning but I guess I'm not doing it the right way.. partner has been engrossed with work and other miscellaneous activities with friends