The Asian Commercial Sex Scene  

Go Back   The Asian Commercial Sex Scene > For stuff you can't discuss with your Facebook Account > Matters of the Heart.

Notices

Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.

User Tag List

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #16  
Old 19-04-2023, 02:53 AM
Alibaba23 Alibaba23 is offline
Samster
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Singapore
Posts: 97
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 7 Post(s)
My Reputation: Points: 175 / Power: 9
Alibaba23 is a Helpful and Caring SamsterAlibaba23 is a Helpful and Caring Samster
Re: True matters of the heart

Thank you all Brothers for your advice.

Sometimes tahan is easy, peace for all. However, I also scared I explode. But luckily my depth is very deep; only exploded once.

Life is really about striking a balance and I am trying to find the balance between everything.
  #17  
Old 19-04-2023, 09:08 AM
larue larue is offline
Samster
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 906
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 132 Post(s)
My Reputation: Points: 1463 / Power: 15
larue has much to be proud oflarue has much to be proud oflarue has much to be proud oflarue has much to be proud oflarue has much to be proud oflarue has much to be proud oflarue has much to be proud oflarue has much to be proud oflarue has much to be proud oflarue has much to be proud of
Re: True matters of the heart

Quote:
Originally Posted by drinknsmoke View Post
In the case of marriage counseling, in my opinion, if 2 parties are unwilling to compromise or communicate it is essentially useless. Counseling helps when both parties are willing to try and make a change.
pick yourself up, Don't let her dominate you.
Counselling is not for him to resolve his marriage, it's so that he can speak up because he doesn't dare to say no to her in any way on his own. But I can also tell you from experience that an experienced third party can point things out that neither party has seen, and this may help things along to their conclusion, whether it is ending the marriage or continuing with it.

There's no point telling somebody being bullied to just 'dont allow yourself to be bullied or dominated'.

They are being bullied or dominated precisely because they weren't capable of that in the first place.

But you're right, OP was merely hiding behind religion to continue staying in his safe place

OP, have you ever used a condom? With the FL?

And more importantly, it's well and good accepting that you will consider therapy, but I ask you:

How will you bring it up to your wife, and does she even know how you feel towards her and the marriage?

Or does she have absolutely no idea at all the depth of your feelings because you hide them so well from her everyday?
  #18  
Old 19-04-2023, 01:50 PM
Hurricane88's Avatar
Hurricane88 Hurricane88 is offline
Samster
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: International Forum
Posts: 23,351
Mentioned: 7 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1070 Post(s)
My Reputation: Points: 39938 / Power: 31
Hurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond reputeHurricane88 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: True matters of the heart

Can trust FL to be wife...pls think again...

Whores are for fucking and no contact after that...
__________________
<a href=https://images.sbf.net.nz/img/248145.jpg target=_blank rel=nofollow>https://images.sbf.net.nz/img/248145.jpg</a>

Up me if want trade.....will not return if you dun hv min 60 pts

Please Do Not reply long post, always edit...may zap and remove post

  #19  
Old 19-04-2023, 09:04 PM
fallen11 fallen11 is offline
Samster
 
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 1,919
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 729 Post(s)
My Reputation: Points: 1510 / Power: 9
fallen11 has a brilliant futurefallen11 has a brilliant futurefallen11 has a brilliant futurefallen11 has a brilliant futurefallen11 has a brilliant futurefallen11 has a brilliant futurefallen11 has a brilliant futurefallen11 has a brilliant futurefallen11 has a brilliant futurefallen11 has a brilliant futurefallen11 has a brilliant future
Re: True matters of the heart

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alibaba23 View Post
Thank you all Brothers for your advice.

Sometimes tahan is easy, peace for all. However, I also scared I explode. But luckily my depth is very deep; only exploded once.

Life is really about striking a balance and I am trying to find the balance between everything.
you can leave your marriage.
i would leave if i were you.
BUT...
Not because of that FL. Keep others out of the equation so that you can think with a straight head. Otherwise you may end up getting out of 1 trouble, just to go into something worse.
  #20  
Old 19-04-2023, 09:43 PM
drinknsmoke drinknsmoke is offline
Samster
 
Join Date: Aug 2021
Posts: 19
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 8 Post(s)
My Reputation: Points: 58 / Power: 3
drinknsmoke deserves a Tiger! - He's a Good Guy
Re: True matters of the heart

I guess you are on the 3rd party counseling issue, unfortunately too little to work on, can only make guesses. Marriage counseling / therapy I guess better to try than never at all.

Plus kena bully part, I think OP he himself also know. In any case, better to encourage to try to stand up for yourself than never. Sometimes just need a little push in the correct direction.
  #21  
Old 20-04-2023, 02:47 PM
sbwow sbwow is offline
Samster
 
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 839
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 481 Post(s)
My Reputation: Points: 656 / Power: 5
sbwow is a splendid one to beholdsbwow is a splendid one to beholdsbwow is a splendid one to beholdsbwow is a splendid one to beholdsbwow is a splendid one to beholdsbwow is a splendid one to behold
Re: True matters of the heart

The first word that came to mind was "doormat". HAHAHA.

Here's a step-by-step guide when being treated like a doormat. HAHAHA.

https://www.marriage.com/advice/rela...-be-a-doormat/
  #22  
Old 20-04-2023, 09:52 PM
expatamerican expatamerican is offline
Samster (M)
 
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 106
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 74 Post(s)
My Reputation: Points: -8 / Power: 0
expatamerican is under Moderation till he learns how to behave
Re: True matters of the heart

I have a friend. He was stuck in an abusive relationship marriage for several years. He was weak and defeated and felt he couldn't live without his wife and that he "loved her. Finally the marriage ended (with a lot of help from me and my wife to help him get the confidence to not only leave but actually fight back in the divorce). Now he is divorced. Goes to the gym and is looking super buff. Hot girls are throwing themselves at him and he has a different walk and different talk with confidence. He got a better job and is making more money.

An abusive spouse tears you down and holds you back in every area of your life. A supportive spouse builds you up and all areas of your life thrive.

Get out ASAP. Restart you life. 2 years on you will be a different person. It has nothing to do with the prostitute in KL.
  #23  
Old 25-04-2023, 09:25 AM
georgemagnum's Avatar
georgemagnum georgemagnum is offline
Chief Excitement Officer
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Kabukicho
Posts: 6,438
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 1 Thread(s)
Quoted: 397 Post(s)
My Reputation: Points: 24895 / Power: 78
georgemagnum has a reputation beyond reputegeorgemagnum has a reputation beyond reputegeorgemagnum has a reputation beyond reputegeorgemagnum has a reputation beyond reputegeorgemagnum has a reputation beyond reputegeorgemagnum has a reputation beyond reputegeorgemagnum has a reputation beyond reputegeorgemagnum has a reputation beyond reputegeorgemagnum has a reputation beyond reputegeorgemagnum has a reputation beyond reputegeorgemagnum has a reputation beyond repute
Re: True matters of the heart

TS, maybe you want to consider a divorce first.
Next, cast your net wider. Have exposure to at least 10-20 ladies. Then take your pick from there?
Where I am coming from is that you are already in shithole, anyone that comes by will seem like an angel. Don’t fall too quickly. Just my 2yen worth. All ze best!
__________________
gm

easy come, easy go

Retired from ML scene except for that super special one
  #24  
Old 01-05-2023, 11:10 PM
gamerguy gamerguy is offline
Samster
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Eastern SG
Posts: 56
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 50 Post(s)
My Reputation: Points: 567 / Power: 9
gamerguy is a name known to allgamerguy is a name known to allgamerguy is a name known to allgamerguy is a name known to allgamerguy is a name known to allgamerguy is a name known to all
Re: True matters of the heart

Quote:
Originally Posted by georgemagnum View Post
TS, maybe you want to consider a divorce first.
Next, cast your net wider. Have exposure to at least 10-20 ladies. Then take your pick from there?
Where I am coming from is that you are already in shithole, anyone that comes by will seem like an angel. Don’t fall too quickly. Just my 2yen worth. All ze best!
Quote:
Originally Posted by expatamerican View Post
I have a friend. He was stuck in an abusive relationship marriage for several years. He was weak and defeated and felt he couldn't live without his wife and that he "loved her. Finally the marriage ended (with a lot of help from me and my wife to help him get the confidence to not only leave but actually fight back in the divorce). Now he is divorced. Goes to the gym and is looking super buff. Hot girls are throwing themselves at him and he has a different walk and different talk with confidence. He got a better job and is making more money.

An abusive spouse tears you down and holds you back in every area of your life. A supportive spouse builds you up and all areas of your life thrive.

Get out ASAP. Restart you life. 2 years on you will be a different person. It has nothing to do with the prostitute in KL.
Agree with some of the bros who have commented.

Saw you mentioned that you're catholic and brought up marriage counselling. I've been thru couples counselling.

Good couple counselling shouldn't be overly biased towards keeping the couple together. Some counsellors push hard to keep the couple together because they feel their job calls for it. However, I've read that good counsellors also explore the possibility of separation. Which brings me to the next point.

Two kinds of counselling from the catholic & christian perspective: religion-associated and secular. Suspect the religion-associated one will be bible-based, "spiritually-dense" and might be biased towards keeping the couple together. "What God has joined, let not men separate" kind of concept which is probably not what I personally would want. I went for secular couples counselling and found it more grounded in mainstream psychology and offered practical advice instead of biblical/spiritual advice, the latter I try to avoid.
__________________
Play safe, play another day
  #25  
Old 07-05-2023, 02:06 PM
dromad68 dromad68 is offline
Samster
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 148
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 110 Post(s)
My Reputation: Points: 954 / Power: 18
dromad68 is a splendid one to beholddromad68 is a splendid one to beholddromad68 is a splendid one to beholddromad68 is a splendid one to beholddromad68 is a splendid one to beholddromad68 is a splendid one to beholddromad68 is a splendid one to beholddromad68 is a splendid one to behold
Re: True matters of the heart

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alibaba23 View Post
I will give a more precise recollection of what I am going through now but this is a call for help form my heart. Any senior can advise how to keep such an arrangement for as long as possible?
If you like her and want her to continue to be your girlfriend just go for it.

The bigger problem is that if she is still FL-ing, can you take it? It’s just a job for her whether hj, bj or fj, even if she moans while doing it, making it sound like she is enjoying it. Girls are good at faking orgasm. If you can take it then go for it. No need to divorce and create a mess.

If both of you can continue in the relationship, then manage your expectations lah. She might be willing to just stick to hj and only let customers roam her with her clothes on as a compromise? Then for you, you should also stop cheonging right and save your rod for her? Then maybe after a few years when she has saved enough, she can quit the job.

Just as we cheongsters remind ourselves that the WL are just interested in our money, the WLs also remind themselves that cheongsters are only interested in their bodies, so it’s natural that both cheongsters and WLs are wary of each other. You need to break through that barrier law.

Whether we cheongsters or them WLs, we all are equally tainted lah. So if you really like her and she really like you, then go for it lah. On her off days, go on a date, do things you all like or just spend cuddling up and talking law.

This is just general advice. Follow your gut feel law. Every relationship sure got risks one. So many couples apply BTO flats and when almost got it already then break up. Right? Good luck.
  #26  
Old 22-05-2023, 10:46 PM
alicialow09ww alicialow09ww is offline
Samster
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 40
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
My Reputation: Points: 68 / Power: 7
alicialow09ww deserves a Tiger! - He's a Good Guy
Re: True matters of the heart

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alibaba23 View Post
Thank you all for your advises sincerely.

I recognize that I am brought up this way to give in and give in until I have enough then I look outward rather than approaching the topic. Moreover it's harder now since my wife is always right. No matter what I say,it's an excuse to her.

My wife probably belittled me since years ago when she gave up talking to me nicely because apparently I don't listen well when she speaks with me nicely. Again, this could stem from her wanting to be right all the time so I couldn't explain my way in the last. Thus, I am at where I am today.

I acknowledge the fact that this Fl Is giving me feeling of new love and I don't know how long this will last. For now, it makes me feel good about myself and in a way refuel me to be patient with my wife until I run out of patient again.

Honestly, I never thought I will receive this level of support from the penpals here. I will take sometime to internalize all these advises before taking action. I'm a catholic so divorce is something out of topic and the best solution is marriage therapy.
Your wife lost respect for you because you allowed her to do it in the first place. it is like the damage is already done, and u are seeking plaster and remedy to fix it. So now it is even harder to fix the problems
  #27  
Old 22-05-2023, 11:20 PM
Bbtt332023 Bbtt332023 is offline
Samster
 
Join Date: Apr 2023
Posts: 239
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 179 Post(s)
My Reputation: Points: 237 / Power: 1
Bbtt332023 is a Helpful and Caring SamsterBbtt332023 is a Helpful and Caring SamsterBbtt332023 is a Helpful and Caring Samster
Re: True matters of the heart

Wah, your relationship is like mine only mine didn't take 7 years and not at the stage of verbal abuse yet. Sadly, maybe that's the future.

My wife is very controlling, can go extreme if angry (emotionally, not physically) and quite easily offended. She tend to get paranoid and take other people's words in the worst way possible. She used to acknowledge her temper and is aware that when she's angry, she can't control her words, and will be very insulting. But she somehow cannot understand when ppl get offended by her words of anger.

I mean, I can tahan more or less, that's why we're together. But now her attitude extends to my side of the family. She lashed out at one of my family, and she doesn't understand how it affects me. Now she doesn't want to have anything to do with my family and this caused my relationship with my family to be strained. Being torn on both sides, it has cast a shadow on our own relationship. Sometimes I feel like we do need counseling, but she refuses too as she feels like counseling is saying she's the problem and she blames everything on my side of the family.

Our dynamics is pretty much like yours I think. She controls everything, disregards my opinions mainly because she thinks she's always right, and I was okay to live with that. But the incident above suddenly becomes something I find hard to accept. I've been nothing but the best towards her family, and it's evident because her side really likes me, but she makes no effort and constantly criticises and nitpicks whatever my family does.

Anyway, rant too much. But situation might be different, and it's not like I'm in love with someone else, but TS, you're not alone.
  #28  
Old 23-05-2023, 08:15 AM
larue larue is offline
Samster
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 906
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 132 Post(s)
My Reputation: Points: 1463 / Power: 15
larue has much to be proud oflarue has much to be proud oflarue has much to be proud oflarue has much to be proud oflarue has much to be proud oflarue has much to be proud oflarue has much to be proud oflarue has much to be proud oflarue has much to be proud oflarue has much to be proud of
Re: True matters of the heart

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bbtt332023 View Post
Wah, your relationship is like mine only mine didn't take 7 years and not at the stage of verbal abuse yet. Sadly, maybe that's the future.

My wife is very controlling, can go extreme if angry (emotionally, not physically) and quite easily offended. She tend to get paranoid and take other people's words in the worst way possible. She used to acknowledge her temper and is aware that when she's angry, she can't control her words, and will be very insulting. But she somehow cannot understand when ppl get offended by her words of anger.

I mean, I can tahan more or less, that's why we're together. But now her attitude extends to my side of the family. She lashed out at one of my family, and she doesn't understand how it affects me. Now she doesn't want to have anything to do with my family and this caused my relationship with my family to be strained. Being torn on both sides, it has cast a shadow on our own relationship. Sometimes I feel like we do need counseling, but she refuses too as she feels like counseling is saying she's the problem and she blames everything on my side of the family.

Our dynamics is pretty much like yours I think. She controls everything, disregards my opinions mainly because she thinks she's always right, and I was okay to live with that. But the incident above suddenly becomes something I find hard to accept. I've been nothing but the best towards her family, and it's evident because her side really likes me, but she makes no effort and constantly criticises and nitpicks whatever my family does.

Anyway, rant too much. But situation might be different, and it's not like I'm in love with someone else, but TS, you're not alone.
You want this life forever? Good luck to you.

I have seen many men married to drama queens who died in their 50 or 60s.

My own very unscientific conclusion is that on some level, their minds and bodies simply decided to give up on life.
  #29  
Old 24-05-2023, 01:43 AM
Zetyalpha Zetyalpha is offline
Samster
 
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 168
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 104 Post(s)
My Reputation: Points: 296 / Power: 6
Zetyalpha is one of the Best!Zetyalpha is one of the Best!Zetyalpha is one of the Best!
Re: True matters of the heart

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alibaba23 View Post
I will give a more precise recollection of what I am going through now but this is a call for help form my heart.

TL; DR- married for 7 years and wife begins to become vulgar and belittle me in every single way. Uses negative terms on me to a day that I couldn’t take it. I booked a flight to KL, called a FL. I got so attracted to the FL that I visited her 4 times and gave her money to clear her own business debt. In case anyone wondered if her business is real or just another lie, I know where her restaurant is and she showed me her business bank account before and after the loan.

The easier way is to tahan my wife until one day I cannot or she no longer around then I remarry this girl. At the same time, keeping things at it is.

Any senior can advice how to keep such an arrangement for as long as possible?

Serious: you better take a break from women least like 6 months. The reason why you engage that FL and shower her with $ because you felt used and abused.

Not sure about yr social economics status. I would suggest a divorce or least go shopping around for lawyers. Transfer most/all your assets to yr parents . Plan this out for a year.

If after a year, if you STILL want to procced with the available info on hand. Prepare yourself, especially if you have children. Long battle ahead.

On the side: So arh, I am actually I wanna upgrade taking commercial diver course coz I over 40 with not much job/career prospects. Working PT for a long time now.

Can loan me 8K with 10% interest? I pay you back over a period 12 months. Arhaha, just a long shot in the dark. Since got so many people here posting asking for a loan. So, I wanna try my luck

If no, just pretend I never ask.
  #30  
Old 24-05-2023, 11:45 AM
Zetyalpha Zetyalpha is offline
Samster
 
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 168
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 104 Post(s)
My Reputation: Points: 296 / Power: 6
Zetyalpha is one of the Best!Zetyalpha is one of the Best!Zetyalpha is one of the Best!
Exclamation Re: True matters of the heart

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bbtt332023 View Post
Wah, your relationship is like mine only mine didn't take 7 years and not at the stage of verbal abuse yet. Sadly, maybe that's the future.

My wife is very controlling, can go extreme if angry (emotionally, not physically) and quite easily offended. She tend to get paranoid and take other people's words in the worst way possible. She used to acknowledge her temper and is aware that when she's angry, she can't control her words, and will be very insulting. But she somehow cannot understand when ppl get offended by her words of anger.

I mean, I can tahan more or less, that's why we're together. But now her attitude extends to my side of the family. She lashed out at one of my family, and she doesn't understand how it affects me. Now she doesn't want to have anything to do with my family and this caused my relationship with my family to be strained. Being torn on both sides, it has cast a shadow on our own relationship. Sometimes I feel like we do need counseling, but she refuses too as she feels like counseling is saying she's the problem and she blames everything on my side of the family.

Our dynamics is pretty much like yours I think. She controls everything, disregards my opinions mainly because she thinks she's always right, and I was okay to live with that. But the incident above suddenly becomes something I find hard to accept. I've been nothing but the best towards her family, and it's evident because her side really likes me, but she makes no effort and constantly criticises and nitpicks whatever my family does.

Anyway, rant too much. But situation might be different, and it's not like I'm in love with someone else, but TS, you're not alone.

Though, it is cheaper to keep her. I think you consider divorce if you can afford. Best is to do shopping around for lawyers. Truth is, you're the enabler and this behaviour will definitely continue into the future.

A husband with all the responsibility and NONE of the authority is literally a slave. I don't know why you and lots of men before you just put up with this type of behaviour

Alot of SG Chinese married men are henpecked. You may disagree but this is my observation. Women here are a protected class in the peasantry by the Women's charter.

They're a means to control married men to keep them compliant and keep working literally to their death. I am not a Muslim nor an Arab. But Islam is definitely right about women.

Advert Space Available
Bypass censorship with https://1.1.1.1

Cloudflare 1.1.1.1
Reply



Bookmarks
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


t Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Heart matters I just had to get it out. cap78 Matters of the Heart. 9 21-01-2016 12:18 PM
Matters in my heart.... yy0202 Matters of the Heart. 25 31-03-2015 10:53 PM
Matters of the Heart.. jimokt Matters of the Heart. 15 31-08-2010 10:03 PM
Price to pay for helping Matters of the Heart colins Matters of the Heart. 127 30-01-2009 11:11 AM
Calling all bros who need help in Matters of the Heart colins Matters of the Heart. 58 29-10-2008 01:42 PM


All times are GMT +8. The time now is 09:16 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.10
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2024 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Copywrong © Samuel Leong 2006 ~ 2023 ph