To hang on or to let go?

[onelustyboy]

hay guys...

Yes i know it may seem ridiculous to some of u guys here... or that tis Qs has been asked too many times..but i jus cant seem to get over it... would like to hear some of ur opinions.... pls don flame me. thanks in advance.

recently got to know tis ger.. it all started like any normal r/s.

after a couple of months together she told me that she had had quite a number of flings/ONS in the past. initially i was like.... "oh okie... no prob with that... its her past". frankly speaking, i had my fair share of fun too.

the thing is , i realised i had deep feelings for her now... and that somehow i begin to think abt her past... and that bothers me a lot. am kinda depressed now jus thinking abt it. worst thing is i cant stop it! its been almost a month... i lost my appetite. cant sleep well.. cant really work.reduced sex drive(yes!)tis is killing me..

now i am really thinking of letting her go(i know its the easy way out for me). but i realised she is a really nice ger and that she had done me no wrong. the thought of dumping her makes me feel very guilty. coz i know very well that she likes me a lot.(can tell she is crazy abt me)

Now i am really in a dilemma. i had gfs who had "colorful" past too but it din bother me at all last time. Y now do i feel n behave this way???

think i need to see a shrink (any good one to recommend?)real soon. sigh.

any bros here had similar experience n wanna share?

my apologies if i am in the wrong thread.sorry...

[arrdwolf_77]

Originally Posted by onelustyboy

hay guys...

Yes i know it may seem ridiculous to some of u guys here... or that tis Qs has been asked too many times..but i jus cant seem to get over it... would like to hear some of ur opinions.... pls don flame me. thanks in advance.

recently got to know tis ger.. it all started like any normal r/s.

after a couple of months together she told me that she had had quite a number of flings/ONS in the past. initially i was like.... "oh okie... no prob with that... its her past". frankly speaking, i had my fair share of fun too.

the thing is , i realised i had deep feelings for her now... and that somehow i begin to think abt her past... and that bothers me a lot. am kinda depressed now jus thinking abt it. worst thing is i cant stop it! its been almost a month... i lost my appetite. cant sleep well.. cant really work.reduced sex drive(yes!)tis is killing me..

now i am really thinking of letting her go(i know its the easy way out for me). but i realised she is a really nice ger and that she had done me no wrong. the thought of dumping her makes me feel very guilty. coz i know very well that she likes me a lot.(can tell she is crazy abt me)

Now i am really in a dilemma. i had gfs who had "colorful" past too but it din bother me at all last time. Y now do i feel n behave this way???

think i need to see a shrink (any good one to recommend?)real soon. sigh.

any bros here had similar experience n wanna share?

my apologies if i am in the wrong thread.sorry...

how old are u? how old is she? If u think u can convince her not to fling anymore, go ahead. If both of u are at the age of settling down ,then go ahead. IF not just wiat and see la. No hurry yet. U wannna dump her bcos u scare she play u out and hurt u la.

[ahpaul25]

Bro, whatever she went thru before, it's all in the past.......even I myself, got sure situation where she is a FL, would u accept her as her gf/wife? Anyway, now she like u, as only a gf, what yr worry? Do u like/love her? If yes, I think u don make yrself suffer, bcos now u gulity as u scare u fallen in love with her, that why u feel difference.

[warr]

if guys can have fling... why cant gals have... u like the person u love the person u don have to bother about her past... past is history present is u and her... and the future is the two of u... not the past.. ^^

[FreakyFrancis]

Why get so worried right now ?? She did those in the past mah and moreover she is crazy over u, why get so bothered ?? get let it go and carry on mah.
If u continue to get so tensed up, the more the r/s wun work lo.

I just broke up wif a gal that i love so much today..... the feeling is not sth that anyone would favour... so just treasure wat u have and forgive and forget.

[onion_rings]

IMHO if u can't get over her past...It's good to let her go...Ask yourself this question is this really what u want???Will u really be happy too??? She quite honest with her past to u...Cos she dun want to lie to u & think she love u deeply too...So what in the past if she's a loose woman...Dun think ur a good boy too rite???Past is past liao...Just move on...Why keep harping on it???Since u also have deep feeling for her den u will feels this way...

My story is a little difference from u...My ex cheated on me & the worst thing is that guy was my friend friends...Damn!!!She admitted to me after some time & promise she nvr do it again...I was devasted at that time...Just like u...But i didn't gave her any chance at all...So we broke up...To tell u the truth i felt lost & very lonely at that time...Luckily got some good buddy went thru the ordeal with me...Keep blaming myself since she's so honest why i can't handle the truth...Till now it din hurt so much...But i still think of her sometimes...

What im trying to say is...Since it was her past flings & ons...U should just move on & time will heal everything...Dun think too much give her a chance dude...Otherwise u might regret by letting her go...Best of wishes & luck to both of u...

[ahpaul25]

WHO DON HAVE A PAST! GET A LIFE,BRO!

[onion_rings]

Originally Posted by ahpaul25

WHO DON HAVE A PAST! GET A LIFE,BRO!

Bro ru refering to threadstarter or me...kekeke!!!

[wow69]

Originally Posted by onion_rings

IMHO if u can't get over her past...It's good to let her go...

I agree with Bro OR.

Imagine quarrelling with her, will you said something to upset her in the midst of some angry exchange? If yes, then u better let her go coz no point hurting each other tis way.

However, if your answer is no then I salute you coz not many ppl can do it.

Think abt it

[ahpaul25]

Originally Posted by onion_rings

Bro r u refering to threadstarter or me...kekeke!!!

Of Coz, to the threadstarter ......Hehehe

[onion_rings]

Originally Posted by ahpaul25

Of Coz, to the threadstarter ......Hehehe

Kekeke i also know...Just joking with u nia...

[onelustyboy]

Thank you all brudders.. really appreciate those kind comments.

to bro arrdwolf - i am 30 n she is in her early 20s. i guess she did those tins coz she was dumped by her EXs n she was devestated. also could be that she was really lonely that time. i realised she doesnt hv many fren thats y she is so dependant(sticky).looking at the way she teated me.. i am quite convinced she wont go back to her old ways again(finger crossed)settling down? not so soon i guess. too early. maybe u r rite... i jus din wan to get hurt by my ger.

to bro ahpaul - i dono how to answer ur qs. sorry. i got no answer for that.and yes.. think i had fallen sia. damn. n i din expect myself to behave tis way. i used to be so confident, now i get all paranoid over small tins. sigh.

to bro francis - actually i spoke to my ger liao n told her how i am feeling now. she said exactly the same tin as u .i am sorry abt wat happened to u today, hope u wl find happiness again.

to bro onion rings - i agree w u. don think i wl be happy either way. sigh.but seriously, there r moments when i really feel like throwing in the towel.(when my heart hurts a lot) but the thought of the way she looks at me each time make me wanna hang on a while more.n YES, i was never a good boy. flings, lover, ons , pros, watever. i tried it. guess i shouldnt find fault w any1 given my own behaviour.

to bro wow69 - no i wont say such tins to hurt her. usually i wl jus keep to myself. thats y i feel so terrible for tis 1 whole month. but she noticed it n asked me yesterday. i told her everytin. can tell she was rather hurt too.

i jus hope that i wl get over it real soon... never been depressed for such a long period.

[LED...]

I beg to differ views from some bros here........

Men are men.......its easy to "tell" your girl that you have a naughty past and lets move on cos you love her now..........Men expect the ger to suck it up easily and life goes on..........

But when the table turns.........when your ger "confess" that she have a naughty past .........tell me how would you feel dude........its in our blood manz........men tends to have difficulty to forgive esp when it concern sexual involvement.........even if you can forgive her but it will remain in your damn brain for a long long time ...........unless you love her so deep and your relationship turns out to be fine most of the time.........if not the past will reap you alive again and again and trust will be lost so does your feel for the other party.............

U need to be firm and have the will to carry on this relation if you do decide to walk this path with her............if not you better have some good consideration before both of you nose dive into a unstable spiral black hole.........

Hope its not too discouraging but just my point of view bro........

Take care and most importantly in life...........TO BE HAPPY

[siamcutey]

Originally Posted by onelustyboy

after a couple of months together she told me that she had had quite a number of flings/ONS in the past. initially i was like.... "oh okie... no prob with that... its her past". frankly speaking, i had my fair share of fun too.
...

One thing to say at the very least is this girl is very HONEST.

So why not u tell her your colourful history too to see whether she can accept you?

If she can accept you with your past, U will have found the answer to your this very question that you are asking us now.

If not, u can move on to find your next girl to be your life partner while she can also move on with life to find one who can accept her for what she is.


SC

[ToOvercum]

Hmmm,
I suppose my response would be slightly different form most of the bros here.
I'm quite sure some of ya would think it's a little too extreme; my 2 cents worth below:

1) Since she is capable of having flings/ONS, there is every possibility she can do it again. Imagine this, when she is offically together with you, and she "accidently" do what she had done, how would you feel?

The above is actually a good situation. Now imagine this: what if she is continuing having fun behind your back without u knowing it?


2) If you are really going to go steady with her, my suggestion to u is do not put in your 100%. If either situation in point 1 happens, the emotional set back ( and time wasted, and better girls who went by ), would be enourmous. This means the loss to you is extremly great.

3) It would be better to check out more about what she has done in the past in greater details. For eg, under what kind of situation did she had ONS or fling? For money? For fun ? Or is this simply part of her charactor?

4) This is probably one of the most important point here. When she told u about her past ( and perhaps tried to attract you ) , what is her motive behind this? Does she have anything to gain if you were to go steady with her? If there is any slightest form of benefits for her, please be on your guard.

If it is going to be beneficial for her ( perhaps you drive a car? Perhaps you are willing to spend $$$ on her? etc ), there is every reason to believe what she is doing is for her own good, not for your own good.


Yupz, my 4 points are as above, if there's a need to conclude, i would say : take it with a pinch of salt, and do not put in your 100%, as nothing is ever 100% confirmed.

Regards.