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Old 02-01-2015, 10:07 PM
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Lightbulb The KTV Bible - All You Need to Know When Chionging in a KTV

The KTV Bible - All You Need to Know When Chionging in a KTV


1.0 Introduction

I started my virgin experience in one of the Geylang KTV joints. The hostess took my hands, pushed me behind the door and placed my warm hands on her soft boobs. My journey began from that day onward.

I particularly love the KTV scene for the following reasons:
  • The building of friendship and brotherhood with your fellow colleages, friends or business partners
  • The singing of songs. Definitely a release of stress in the very uptight Singapore environment
  • The stream of beautiful girls where you get the hope of entering into their forbidden cave
  • The feeling of being worshipped by the managers, service crew and of course the legendary mummy
  • The touch of alcohol that takes you out of this world
With all the above said, I have burned more than S$30,000 on KTV sessions in the last 6 years. No regrets at all

2.0 The Concept of the KTV

Most people end up in a KTV room for 2 main reasons, (A) you are entertaining someone else or (B) you are being entertained. For only a few individuals, you fall into this special category where you are there by yourself - I call this "K-Masturbation".

The most powerful person within the group would usually sit in the middle of the elongated or U-shaped sofa. The traditional bottoms-up would start first and then the choosing of the hostesses would come next.

Once the choosing is done, the brothers would usually ignore every damn thing in the world for the next 10 to 15 minutes. If your ears are sensitive enough, you'll usually hear introductory questions like:
  • Where are you from?
  • Which part of China/Vietnam/Cambodia are you from?
  • Did you just arrive Singapore?
  • How long have you been working?
  • Have you eaten your dinner?
  • Can you drink a lot?
  • Are you a good singer?
  • Do you have a boyfriend?

Once the brothers are done familiarising with their chosen ones, they will usually either begin with KTV games or the more "talented" ones will begin with serenading the room with their voices.

Halfway during the night when the alcohol has sufficiently gotten to everybody's brains, bonding then begins. You'll usually hear phrases like:
  • You are my brother! I will always be by your side
  • We will make money together!
  • No one can bring us down!
  • We are brothers till the end!
I've personally heard phrases like:
  • I don't have education, don't have anything much, all I have is money! Anything you need come and see me!
  • You see all these people around me? They are all my brothers; they will help me in my time of need!
  • Buy this counter ******** in the stock market, tomorrow sure go up!
  • Come, lets go MBS! (Marina Bay Sands Casino)

Of course, not forgetting the mummy coming into the room once in awhile and staying for a short time to entertain her beloved customers - her time spent in your room very much depends on your spending power.

When the night is about to end, wallets come out from their hiding places and then whatever happens next varies. Some bros will go home alone, some bros will have supper and some bros will have dessert in some hotel room - if you know what I mean

3.0 Financial Matters

Early Session 早场 (5:30 PM to 9:00 PM) – ES
Late Session 晚场 (9:10 PM to 3:00 AM) – LS
Late Late Session 晚晚场 (3:00 AM to 6:00 AM) – LLS (Only a few KTVs practice this)

3.1 KTV Room Charge in Singapore (No minimum spending required)
  • Tower of Beer: S$132 +/- [ES] S$240 +/- [LS, LLS]
  • Hard Liquor: S$248 +/- [ES] S$490 +/- [LS,LLS]
  • Wine: S$160 +/- [ES] S$310 +/- [LS, LLS]
3.2 Mummy’s Tips
Below is a list of reasonable tipping for you to avoid the Mummy’s shitlist.
  • Standard Tipping at a low to mid tier KTV: S$50 per session
  • Standard Tipping at a high tier KTV: S$100 per session
  • When group is way bigger than usual or when there is a special occasion: S$100 to S$150 per session depending on which KTV you go to

The mummy also earn commission from you buying hard liquor, they earn about S$60 to S$80 per bottle you open. The top mummy in Singapore earns about S$30,000 every month. Some of you who are very well versed in this arena would know exactly who I am referring to.

3.3 Girls' Tips
  • No Mummy KTV (Example: China Dolls, Club Jade and etc.)
    Butterfuly: S$20 to S$30 per girl
    Booking: S$150 for ES and S$250 to S$300 for LS and LLS (prices are dependent on Mummy and quality of girl)

  • KTV with Mummy Service (Example: Tian An Men, Golden Million, Club Royce and etc)
    Butterfly: S$50 per girl
    Booking: S$150 for ES and S$250 to S$500 for LS, LLS (prices are dependent on Mummy and quality of girl)

  • Bringing the Girl out for Sex
    Short Time: S$200 to S$800 (Price is dependent on the girl)
    Long Time (Overnight): S$400 to S$1,500 (Price is dependent on the girl)
There are of course girls who think that their pussies are made of diamond and some of them could charge up to S$2,000, S$3,000 or even S$10,000. My above pricing is the standard market rate. I used to think that KTV girls are "clean" they don't practice prostitution, after years of being in this industry, I realised that I was very wrong - everyone has got a price. Trust me.

A typical KTV hostess earns about S$6,000 to S$12,000 a month.

3.4 Service Crew Tips

For me, I generally tip each waiter or waitress S$10 for each session. I have known some of them for years, those I tip a bit more. Usually for service crew you can just play by ear, tipping is not a must.

My rule is, if you have served me well, you get rewarded. I don't usually give those who out of nowhere comes in with hot towels at the end of the session and excepting a tip.

3.5 Consumable Items (Food and Cigarettes)

KTVs will always mark up their food and cigarettes sometimes as much as 100% above the normal market price. Always either eat before you enter into paradise or pack food from outside. If you have a good relationship with the people there, they might even provide you with plates and cutleries.

3.6 Toilet Uncle (Toilet Attendent)

Some KTVs have attendants taking care of their toilets, they serve you with a hot towel after you are done with your business. A reasonable rage of titbits are displayed near the sink area for your purchasing pleasure, buying a snack is usually my way of tipping them. They usually also mark up the prices of whatever you see by 100%. Tipping them is not necessary.

My average expenditure per night in my favourite KTV is about S$350 to S$450.

4.0 Girls

The girls will be brought in by the mummy, please take your time and choose. If you think that you might want a particular girl, don't be shy, ask the mummy to reserve first - you can request for her later if you still cannot find another girl in the crowd.

We all have to keep one very important point in mind - these girls are out here to earn money. I am not saying that you should avoid them, what I am saying is that you should not be hypnotised by their sweet tongues and wet pussies. You really don't want a big hole in your pocket and a wrecked up life.

Enjoy what they have to tell you in the room and whatever happens in the room stays in the room. She can say that you are the most handsome boy on planet Earth or you could join The Voice of China and emerge as Number #1 but that doesn't mean that you need to tip her more or feed her dying mother in China.

Yes, there are good girls, but they are very rare. I have personally sat with more than 120 girls in my entire KTV career and believe me, I have seen the very ugly side of some

If you are not restricted by family commitments, feel free to keep in contact with them. Most of them use WeChat, by the way, WeChat is a brilliant instant messaging system. Keeping in contact with them allows you the avenue to take someone out for drinks when you are bored, know more about another country's culture and open the possibility to get lucky down the road

4.1 Mamasan (Mummy) or Papasan (Papa)

The Mamasan and Papasan main role is to keep you happy. There are several ways they could do this, (A) brining you the right girl, (B) if you are unhappy with your chosen girl, they will have to do everything in their power to change one for you until you are happy, (C) entertain you, keep you company when you are alone and (D) generally, make you happy.

A good mummy or daddy is always on their customers' side - sometimes, a hostess or waiter could lose their mind and do really stupid things to piss us off, the mummy must step in and always stand on her clients' side.

If you are on good terms with the mummy, they are more than happy to provide you with some special perks like a free bottle of hard liquor or even simple things like giving you the phone number of a particular girl that you didn't manage to get the night before.

5.0 Golden Advice
  • Don't fall in love with a KTV girl or Mummy, it's complicated
  • On average, a person lies about 13 times a week. In a KTV session, a person could lie 13 times
  • What was said will not be so the next day due to the influence of alcohol
  • Play within your financial means
  • Play, but don't forget your family
  • Do not over tip, don't spoil the market
  • You don't have to bottoms up when you are not comfortable to do so
  • Your health is more important than your face
  • Always get a valet if you drive
  • Life is short, chiong ah!


With pleasure,
Notary

Last edited by Notary; 11-01-2015 at 09:21 PM.
  #2  
Old 02-01-2015, 11:37 PM
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interesting write-up...
brings back memories of days when me chiong ktvs...
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Old 02-01-2015, 11:51 PM
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Re: The KTV Bible - All You Need to Know When Chionging in a KTV

Nice write up Notary !
Do you have a similar bible for Hang Flower Joints, Thai discos and Vietnamese/Philippine Pubs?
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Old 03-01-2015, 12:00 AM
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Re: The KTV Bible - All You Need to Know When Chionging in a KTV

Thanks buddy. Good one.
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Old 03-01-2015, 12:28 AM
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Re: The KTV Bible - All You Need to Know When Chionging in a KTV

Good "Bible "? I myself didnot cheong in the real KTV's very often.
Reasons for this:

I don't drink (alcohol, because of health issues )
I don't smoke
I don't like to sing
I prefer to cheong alone

To put it straight: I am only interested in girls, not in the other things a KTV offers.
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Old 03-01-2015, 12:54 AM
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Thumbs up Re: The KTV Bible - All You Need to Know When Chionging in a KTV

Awesome! Love to read more of these sort of "Bible" about the different scenes. Thanks
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Old 03-01-2015, 01:20 AM
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Re: The KTV Bible - All You Need to Know When Chionging in a KTV

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mankok View Post
Good "Bible "? I myself didnot cheong in the real KTV's very often.
Reasons for this:

I don't drink (alcohol, because of health issues )
I don't smoke
I don't like to sing
I prefer to cheong alone

To put it straight: I am only interested in girls, not in the other things a KTV offers.
We have some similarities bro.
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Old 03-01-2015, 01:53 PM
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Thumbs up Re: The KTV Bible - All You Need to Know When Chionging in a KTV

Thanks TS for the information.
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Old 03-01-2015, 01:54 PM
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Re: The KTV Bible - All You Need to Know When Chionging in a KTV

interestinng read.

thanks for sharing bro
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Old 03-01-2015, 02:33 PM
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Re: The KTV Bible - All You Need to Know When Chionging in a KTV

A good write up
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Old 03-01-2015, 02:40 PM
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Re: The KTV Bible - All You Need to Know When Chionging in a KTV

Thanks for sharing.
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Old 03-01-2015, 02:47 PM
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Re: The KTV Bible - All You Need to Know When Chionging in a KTV

Think TS can publish a series of book n named it 'ktv 101'
Part 1 - chionging ktv
Part 2 - the do and the don't
Part 3 - how it helps to reduce sexual crime rate
Part 4 - the secret to a happy family.
etc etc...

Finally open a school teaches n issuing from certificate to degree in chionging.
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Old 03-01-2015, 02:53 PM
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Re: The KTV Bible - All You Need to Know When Chionging in a KTV

Quote:
Originally Posted by RamboCat View Post
Nice write up Notary !
Do you have a similar bible for Hang Flower Joints, Thai discos and Vietnamese/Philippine Pubs?
Yea... IT will be great...
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Old 03-01-2015, 02:58 PM
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Re: The KTV Bible - All You Need to Know When Chionging in a KTV

Great write-up bro. Just upped you.
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Old 03-01-2015, 11:11 PM
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Re: The KTV Bible - All You Need to Know When Chionging in a KTV

Nice sharing, TS Bro.
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