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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.

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  #16  
Old 05-08-2020, 04:45 PM
EtherC EtherC is offline
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Re: Having children in your life

From a scientific point of view , point 2 changes can largely be attributed to brain chemistry changes and testosterone level dipping. Yes not only mothers are affected. These are Evolutionary adaptations to help propagate the species. Many of us are very much prisoners of our own biology.

Also like what Sadhguru says, children are 20year projects. In Sg , maybe 25 years is more likely. And marriage is by far the most stable social construct we have come up with to sustain these 20+ year projects.

Last edited by EtherC; 05-08-2020 at 04:47 PM. Reason: grammar
  #17  
Old 07-08-2020, 10:36 PM
fallen11 fallen11 is offline
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Re: Having children in your life

Quote:
Originally Posted by sammyboyfor View Post
When it comes to finances I can guarantee you 100% that you'll be better off without children... the exception being if you produce a kid that goes on to become a multi millionaire and you exercise the stock options you were gifted.
yes
having kids is never a financial investment
it wont give you profit one. can say almost certain its a loss
unless your kids grow up to be hollywood superstar or world class soccer player and you are their sole agent.
  #18  
Old 07-08-2020, 10:41 PM
fallen11 fallen11 is offline
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Re: Having children in your life

Quote:
Originally Posted by kennyr View Post
Agreed to certain extent, but wonders if marriage last if there are no children. After some years into marriage, it's more of a commitment.
have friends with no children. happily married for more than a decade.
Its both theirs and their spouses' choice not to have any kids.
got 1 couple even married to his 1st gf, no kids but happy. Both the man and wife are attractive in looks and behaviour. they bascially do almost everything togther. Watching men-liked drama series like Game of Thrones together. Learning courses about Artificial Intelligence together as both of them actually quite nerdy. Played video games together all the time.
Yup, best friends & couple. For such case, can imagine how having a kid will destroy such a happy lifestyle.
  #19  
Old 13-08-2020, 09:11 PM
minnylo minnylo is offline
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Re: Having children in your life

Quote:
Originally Posted by kennyr View Post
Am pleasantly surprised by the number of wise man in sbf hence started this chat. Hence started this thread to ask for some opinions.

Am married for about 6 years without any children.

Does having a children change your...

1) frequency to paid sex(did it stop or reduce?)

2) perspective of life change after having a kid?

3) If you will roll out time, will you have a kid or not?
will be more focus on children than sex, will think if children b4 do anything
  #20  
Old 15-08-2020, 04:07 AM
kennyr kennyr is offline
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Re: Having children in your life

Quote:
Originally Posted by fallen11 View Post
have friends with no children. happily married for more than a decade.
Its both theirs and their spouses' choice not to have any kids.
got 1 couple even married to his 1st gf, no kids but happy. Both the man and wife are attractive in looks and behaviour. they bascially do almost everything togther. Watching men-liked drama series like Game of Thrones together. Learning courses about Artificial Intelligence together as both of them actually quite nerdy. Played video games together all the time.
Yup, best friends & couple. For such case, can imagine how having a kid will destroy such a happy lifestyle.
thanks for your thoughts
  #21  
Old 16-08-2020, 11:41 PM
lovethaibabes lovethaibabes is offline
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Re: Having children in your life

Quote:
Originally Posted by kennyr View Post
3) If you will roll out time, will you have a kid or not?
If I can turn back time, I will not marry and will not have kids.

I will chase my hobbies, chase self-improvement and self-actualization.

I will chase financial independence.
  #22  
Old 17-08-2020, 09:08 AM
Johndick Johndick is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kennyr View Post
Am pleasantly surprised by the number of wise man in sbf hence started this chat. Hence started this thread to ask for some opinions.

Am married for about 6 years without any children.

Does having a children change your...

1) frequency to paid sex(did it stop or reduce?)

2) perspective of life change after having a kid?

3) If you will roll out time, will you have a kid or not?
My 2 cents of opinion. People who have kids will never know the freedom of those without, on the flipside people whom have no kids can never understand the joy of parenthood.

If you and partner have long decided the childless route, stick to it and don't be swayed by external influence. Every path have its pros and cons. End the day is what you want in your life that matters, don't be a follower and don't take opinions on face value. Walk your own path.

We bring a new life to this world not as an investment to secure our retirement, if that is the mindset, hell no, please don't. Become a parent because you want to provide and nurture, to experience the pain and joy of seeing an infant grow into an adult. If the thought of that only strike fear in you and make you worry about the $$$ and freedom that you could have saved and enjoy for yourself, then you are probably better off not become a parent. Else resentment will only snowball when you realise is so costly to provide and you start to regret. Totally unhealthy.

Last edited by Johndick; 17-08-2020 at 09:42 AM.
  #23  
Old 18-08-2020, 08:53 AM
lovethaibabes lovethaibabes is offline
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Re: Having children in your life

I agree with JohnDick

I think our perceptions changes with our personal situation

If we do not have children we notice and envy those who have children.

If we have children we notice and envy those who do not.

One thing for sure, having a child is no child's play, financially and psychologically speaking.

I only know that now I have children it is my responsibility as a MAN to take care of them till adulthood.

Despite my feelings, despite having to give up certain things, certain ambitions in my life, I will fulfill my responsibility as a father, as a MAN

It is a life-long commitment.
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