Issues to consider when looking for a guy

[Xgenre]

I’ve gotten to know several SBF sisters over the years. Some of them I’ve met and kept in touch with them. Obviously, some meet-ups went beyond the dinner and coffee sessions. No names/nicks will be revealed. I was asked to start a thread by one of the sisters that I met. Recently, there seems to be an influx of ladies coming to SBF to look for a FB. I thought it will be useful to start a thread on issues that these ladies will know what to take precaution on. I hope it’s useful for guys as well.

1. Think of what you are looking for before you start a thread and be very, very clear about it.

Some ladies start threads introducing themselves and the age, height and weight requirements of the guy they are looking for. However, details are sometimes lacking on what the girl is looking for. Are you looking for a regular FB, an irregular FB or friends with benefits? Ladies, do you know what you are looking for in the end? Are you sure about it?

Guys being guys, we begin with the end in mind, bedding you. So if you can tell us specifically what you want, a lot of misunderstanding can be removed right from the start. We guys don’t understand you girls. Guys don’t know what you mean by regular FB or worse friends with benefits. So help us by being specific. Eg. Once a week, either every Tuesday or Thursday night. Or we will be friends, if I feel like it, you get more tonight. If not, we only meet to chat...

I find the selection process of some ladies worrying. SBF ladies, unfortunately, tend to select guys pre-dominantly based on language ability. If you can type better, you must be the more suitable man for me. So smart guys start copying their introductory emails from romance novels. Before you select your guy, please read through his SBF history. He might be a suave writer who has cheated on FLs, posted secretly taken photos of his sexual conquests, been a pimp before or asked questions looking for cures for sexually transmitted diseases. Don’t come to SBF to look for your knight in shining armour. Knights in shining armour don’t come to SBF. Devils with horns do.

2. Never reveal your real email address.

Set up a fresh email account for SBF related activities. You won’t want your normal circle of friends to google your email and find out that you’ve posted your email in a SBF thread. It shows. It will be horrible if we can find your facebook account from the same email. Your circle of friends can then be informed of your SBF activities. Stuff of nightmares. An email account that allows you to msn is recommended. You can then chat with your short-listed guys on msn before meeting. Guys should also set up a fresh email for SBF-related activities.

3. Always leave yourself the option of being untraceable.

This is the 21st century. A lot of us are using smart phones. Why is there a need to exchange a real phone number? I never exchange phone numbers for if the first meeting doesn’t meet up to my expectation; there is a way for me to be non-contactable. I am sure the ladies won’t want the guys to bug you to reconsider your decision, if the lady has rejected the guy.

If you don’t have a smart phone, just set up a time and place to meet via MSN or SBF’s PM. Example, be at this bus stop in front of whatever school at what time, I am driving a white Honda civic. I am wearing black shirt with jeans. I will come pick you up from the bus stop. I will leave if I don’t see you after 10 minutes.

If you have a smart phone, use your smart phone to install msn messenger. It allows you to use MSN messenger as a form of communication for the first meeting. If he isn’t there or if he is somewhere else, you can reach him. If you do not wish to keep in touch for whatever reason, deleting him from your MSN is easy too. If phones can be smart, we can be too.

The check-in process for H81 is also worrying. Normally, the guys will pass their IC to the counter staff to open a room. When the counter staff asks for your ic, the guy may collect your ic from you, take a look at all your personal information and passes it to the counter staff. When the counter staff is happy, your ic is returned to you. What’s wrong with this? Well, that guy knows where you stay and your full name. You know nothing about him as you didn’t see his IC. Don’t be complacent, pass your ic directly yourself to the counter staff.

4. Have an escape plan when you meet.

I will only meet girls at places where I can leave immediately if I sense danger. You are meeting someone from online. You only know him from the words he type. He might not even be typing the words himself. ‘He’ might not even be a he, he might be a group of men. Good meet-ups get written in SBF. Bad meet-ups do exist and they are seldom documented. So ladies, get real. This is a sex forum and many of us guys are sex-crazed. Human beings do exaggerate from time to time. If a creepy guy turns up instead, are you able to seek someone else’s help? If not, don’t meet there. For myself, I won’t even meet a girl under her block if I realise that there is only 1 exit/entrance for her carpark (some hdb blocks are designed like this).

[Xgenre]

5. Manage expectations if there is sex.

If the lady were to change her mind inside the room, will the guy accept that and leave the room sexually aroused but unsatisfied? For the lady, do remember that the CCTVs of the hotel might have captured you walking willingly into the hotel so if you were to cry rape later, that might not be easy to prove. If sex toys are to be used, what are your limits and steps taken to ensure hygiene is observed? The guy might be using the same toys for every girl he meets right? If he suggests tying you up, how? For me, I will ensure a fresh condom is used on my vibrator for each different girl. That way, the clitoris comes into contact with a clean, disease-free environment every single time. You should insist on hygiene too.

6. Be mentally certain when you meet.

Why will a decent girl with a successful life want to meet a stranger from online and expose herself to the risks of a meet-up? Whatever your answer is, please make sure you are mentally ready for all possibilities before you meet. Some ladies meet for revenge sex (hubby cheated on them so they want to find a stranger so that they can cheat on hubby). Some meet as a temporary escape from their sad lives (sole caregiver/bread-winner for their families). Some just needed good sex or to satisfy curiosity.

Ladies, you got to be fair to the guys you are meeting too. Don’t go inside the room then keep saying ‘Am I really doing this?’ ‘I can’t believe myself, is this a dream?’ ‘OH MY GOD, this is soooo embarrassing.’ The poor guy is standing there with an erected penis, looking at you confused. I'm that poor guy. When she finally says let's do it, I only hear 'ROTAN'. Better not do anything. Wait I get accused of rape, hard to explain.

When you do meet, just leave the real world behind. The time you are spending with your chosen guy is your ‘ME and ME only time’. Relax and enjoy this 2nd secret life. Take precaution not to reveal your real life.

7. What may go wrong?

I’ve learnt of many sad stories from FLs and SBF sisters looking for FB when I chat with them over msn. So far, hidden videos and photos have been taken. Money has been stolen (when the girl goes to bath alone). Identity cards and credit cards have been stolen (the police went to this girl’s home, while she was away, to inform her family members that they have nabbed the serial sex thief and recovered her IC). Sexually transmitted diseases have been spread to a girl (she confided in me and I won’t reveal who she is). Guys have gone missing after bedding the girl (making the girl feel used and even lousier than before she started any threads). Guys taking off condom halfway through sex. Rough guys with no foreplay (poor girl’s pussy tore and got to be on anti-biotics for 2 weeks). You think such girls write about their bad experiences?


Have fun and good luck. I've recently met a beautiful and charming girl in SBF. Such girls do exist here. It's great to chat with her. I can't praise her enough; intelligent, classy, witty, beautiful, body to die for. In fact, I feel that if I had ever met her earlier in my life, there would be no valid reason for me to be in SBF. Unfortunately for me, she's not looking for any commitment. All the best K. This thread was what you wanted me to do.

[Xgenre]

people, if you have more items to add, please feel free to add them on. Will be useful for 'innocent' ladies and guys popping by into SBF.

[BiRd13]

Very nice and detail post.

However, some comments about some points (which I understand/heard from some of the sister in here =)

1) Sometimes even how much detail/expectation one have stated, there's still people whom doesn't understand the meaning, and continue spamming their mailbox. Even if via email, one have to click to open it to read it, which takes time too. So one unable to read/know from the subject if the person really meet his/her requirement.

2) Guess one will never know how a relationship will turn out? One may be just looking for ons/fling or even temp fb. How would one be able to know that it might turn out to be a perm FB, or even proceed into relationship? So well, I guessed its' difficult to state what one really into (As in ons/fling or temp fb etc). At least I met one of the sis in here, and from 'chatter' become friend, and become FB, and later become couple. (Though we broke up already, but still maintain as FB)

3) I do agreed that one should not use their original email, especially for those sister. One should create a new email (its easy to create !!) for such posting. And I think even for hp number, one still can give the number out, for easy meet up. For assurance, maybe can get a temp number? or like one said, msn using smartphone will be the best.

4) For meeting, meet in public I would suggest. Rather than meeting up in isolated area. Not neccessary meet up have to go hotel and sex. Though most thinking are like that. But perhaps a meal and some chit chat to understand one more, and maybe for one to feel more comfortable, before other stuff.

5) Hygiene is a MUST for whatever case. Even if you prefer raw, one should not do it during the first meet up. For subsequence case, its up to one individual and own judgement on that. Even if sex toy may need to involve, bring your own =) Rather than using the other partner one. Frankly speaking, even my FB offer me sex toy in which she newly bought (unless in packing), I don't even use too =) Usually, we have our own sex toy. Once in awhile, will inform each other to bring it out, to enjoy those =)

6) I agreed on 'What may go wrong' comments. Better play safe than sorry. You will never know if hidden cam is pre-hidden in the room. My pov: First, even if going to hotel, book and check in together, instead of letting the other party in going ahead in booking first. Second, whenever you need to bath, make sure the important stuff are brought in with you together (Eg: Wallet/Purse/Handbag, Handphone etc) and of course, clothing too. You won't want to exit the toilet to find the valuable things are with you, but aren't able to locate your clothing right? =)

Again, this is just some of my pov added into bro Xgenre suggestion. I believe there's more valuable and good suggestion from other bros out there too.

[butterflybloom]

Hi X, you are the man. I hope this leads the SBF girls to a better understanding in what they are looking for. And not making the either party looking stupid while in transit.

Not a very active person here, but this thread sure caught my attention.
Besides, the guys roaming this forum could pick something up in this thread on the thoughts pumped in by X(they were given by girls after all).

Spare a thought and enjoy!

Bloom

[blohsg]

b u m p!

Quite a few lady requests are popping up these few weeks ... election fever.

[Ironman123]

Hi there,

I am new here and glad to read the post that both bros are sharing. Indeed useful to people like us. Many thanks.

[block11]

thanks for the tips... good for newbie like me

[Monkey4]

well written and definitely a handbook for gals out there looking for FBs or friends here...

u the man...TS

can i up your points ?


M4

ps just wanna add... do some soul searching first.... whether can u take the consequences and not to do it at the spur of the moment

[Docky]

i would say this is awesome.

by the end of the day, it all lies in the decisions made by the ladies.

[Sandunes]

Just to add on:

Avoid meeting in nightspots like pub/disco on your first meeting to club.

This provides an opportunity for the guy to spike your drink or have his friends to spike it.

Bring along another female friend..

It helps, especially when u wanna get away in situations, just give excuse u going ladies with yr friend, come up with some lame excuse, tell the guy nicely u got some reasons to leave.

If u cannot click even as friend, be nice to let the other party know you are offended so that he will not repeat the same stupid mistake again, so that he can have better chance of knowing others thru this forums..

Just my 2 cents

[bochapsing]

excellent post, bro X...

everybody shou learn how to protect themselves when coming out to play, esp girls...

[hotrod10]

Great advice there, couldn't agree more with most of the things said.

I have met a few ladies online myself, but never once from here, usually communicate thru MSN and I always tell them for the first meetup to suggest a time, can be lunch, tea or dinner at a place where they will feel safe.

It was always a good start, I was told later, always appreciated . . . . .

[BigFudge]

Cool post, and some good advice.
I'd add the following:

1. Do try and tell someone where your going, or at least what time you'll be back. You don't have to reveal what your going to do, but at least make sure someone know's what time you should be back.

2. Bringing along a friend is a bad idea, I've experienced this before and it can throw a guy off his game if it's unexpected. What you should do is arrange for someone to call you 10 mins into the meet (or just setup that fake call app on your iphone). If things aren't going well and you need to leave then you have an easy out, you can say your friend just called and needs your help, cat died, grandma fell down stairs etc....

3. First time meeting should be in a public, fairly crowded area but somewhere where neither of you hangout (make sure this applies to both of you) - shopping mall, coffee shop etc.. not a bar, pub or club. Again this depends on the nature of the meet and what both of your are into - some people are into the thrill of there being as much anonymity as possible, but this is risky.

4. If you or the guy your meeting are in-experienced then it's natural for both parties to be nervous, I still get nervous sometimes. So don't mistake slight nerves on either part as an indication that something is wrong. However excessive nervous behaviour, avoidance of eye-contact, slow responses to questions are some signs of deception. Trust your gut, if something doesn't feel right then find the right moment to politely leave.

5. Be clear about what you both want from the encounter if things progress any further.

6. And sex toys are not for sharing (well during the session is ok, but not like 1 week later). No matter how many condoms you put on the thing or if you soak it in bleach for an hour, no girl really wants to have 'that piece of old plastic' put inside her. If she's really into toys she'll either bring her own, or ask you to buy one. The only time she'll let you use one you've brought is if it's still in the box unopened, like a priceless marvel superhero figurine. Also, it's a bit weird for a dude to have a drawer full of dildo's and vibrators in the first place right? And lastly, after the things me and some girls have done with those toys they need to be burnt at 1000C, so always need to buy new.

[broken_vow]

i really loved this thread... so informative...

a must read for all cheongsters and gals looking for thrills..

too bad.... i always chicken out... cos very nervy before meeting up.