Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[mvkhem]

Hehe wrong number

[rawboy83]

Originally Posted by mvkhem

Hehe wrong number

haha, good share bro.

[Orange22]

Originally Posted by bigbirdbird

A Bet with Little Johnny

…………….

The father replied, "It's just that I decided to break Johnny of betting myself, and this morning I bet him $500 that he was wrong when he boasted that before the day was over, he'd have you lifting your skirt and showing him your pussy."

Hahaha smart Little Johnny

[Hurricane88]

NEWSFLASH

Singapore is working with two auto makers on a JV arrangement to come out with their first national car...

This will be the first time a Korean and Japanese auto maker combine tech to come out with one whole new car...

Since the car makers are well-known Kia and Suzuki, the Tech and Innovation Minister of Singapore has proposed to leverage on both names by combining it to become “Kia Su”...

The car is said to come with the latest auto-safety tech called “Kia Si” which provides 24 airbags (25 airbags for Male drivers - mini one at the testicular region) and is also crash proof which means the computer systems are not Windows based.

The car also comes with a satellite-traceable device called “Kia Bo” to allow owners to track down their cars if it ever goes missing

#fakenews

[Hurricane88]

More jokes...

[bigbirdbird]

Things NOT to Say to a Naked Man...

That's it?

Wow - look at all the hair on your back!

Maybe you should start going to the gym more.

That was fine, dear...pass me my vibrator?

Thats a shame, maybe we should grab a video instead?

Wake me when it's over, ok?

I think the condom's too big.

Zzzzzz....

You want me to what?!?

Well, that explains the padded pants.

Did you take out the garbage yet?

My husband's in the Marines.

He's due home any day now.

Is that a toupee?

So THAT'S what your ex warned me about!

No.

Surgery might be able to help.

Not until you've showered.

That must be my mother on the phone.

Your brother's bigger.

Your best friend's better.

Are you done yet?

Wow! Look at the size of your.....beer gut!

Size doesn't REALLY matter, dear.

You might want to see a doctor about that.

[bigbirdbird]

No More Sex

An older man was married to a younger woman.

After several years of a very happy marriage, he had a heart attack. The doctor advised him that to prolong his life they should cut out sex.

He and his wife discussed the matter and decided that he should sleep in the family room downstairs to save them both from temptation.

One night, after several weeks, he decided that life without sex wasn't worth living. So he headed upstairs.

He met his wife on the staircase and said, "I was coming up to die."

She laughed and replied, "I was coming down to kill you!"

[Hurricane88]

Jokes jokes...

[bigbirdbird]

THINGS A MAN DOESN'T APPRECIATE BEING SAID WHEN A WOMAN IS LOOKING AT HIM NAKED


1. Why is God punishing me?

2. At least this won't take long.

3. I never saw one like that before.

4. But it still works, right?

5. It looks unused.

6. Maybe it looks better in natural light.

7. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?

8. Are you cold?

9. If you get me real drunk first.

10. Is that an optical illusion?

11. What is that?

12. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.

13. Does it come with an air pump?

14. So this is why you're to judge people on personality.

15. I guess this makes me the 'early bird.

[iceball]

Originally Posted by mvkhem

Hehe wrong number

Thanks for sharing

[hagibis]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Jokes jokes...

Nice joke bro. Hope to read more. Thanks.

[quarterback]

Originally Posted by bigbirdbird

THINGS A MAN DOESN'T APPRECIATE BEING SAID WHEN A WOMAN IS LOOKING AT HIM NAKED


1. Why is God punishing me?

2. At least this won't take long.

3. I never saw one like that before.

4. But it still works, right?

5. It looks unused.

6. Maybe it looks better in natural light.

7. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?

8. Are you cold?

9. If you get me real drunk first.

10. Is that an optical illusion?

11. What is that?

12. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.

13. Does it come with an air pump?

14. So this is why you're to judge people on personality.

15. I guess this makes me the 'early bird.

Thanks for nice joke. Hope to read more.

[geographic]

Very nice jokes thread.

Hope to go thru all the jokes here.

Thanks.

[UOBRobber]

Originally Posted by bigbirdbird

She laughed and replied, "I was coming down to kill you!"

Very nice joke bro, hoping for more.

[TomorrowNews]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Nice share bro, waiting to read more