I'm straight, I fuck, but sometimes feel ZERO sexual attraction to GORGEOUS women?

[mattrayham]

Am I normal? Haha.

I mean, I'm straight, I fuck regularly (almost weekly visits to FLs, young cute sexy sugar baby), and sometimes when I get horny but lazy to book FL or my sugar baby busy, I jerk off to porn like most men do.

Then lately I've been involved with some women in my life - gorgeous, beautiful, sexually attractive to most straight hot blooded men, women who are chased by multiple men, who could work as models if they wanted to, but chose to work on more fulfilling careers that used their gifted brains.

Case in point (1) I met "Sasha" at a networking event on blockchain tech. She looks like one of those hot secretary or PA to a billionaire CEO. From New York, with ethnically Mediterranean looks (think same region and close looks to Mia Khalifa), just moved to work in Singapore.

And she approached me first, while other guys in the networking event were trying to push their business cards to her. She said, "A lot of guys are trying to approach me today, but I sense your energy is different so that's why I'm coming forward to say Hi to you. What do you do?" We hit it off from there.

That first moment, of course my reptilian brain reacted, I suppressed my nervousness and sexual arousal from her mere presence and scent within my vicinity, and acted cool throughout, channeled Ryan Gosling and replied her questions with brief but polite answers with an aura of mystery and a hint of a smile.

We setup a casual brunch coffee date a couple of days after meeting, and got to know each other more. We have a lot of common interests, even some that are unconventional and not that common to others, and really hit it off.

I had to travel after that, and despite the distance, we regularly texted, sometimes cheeky, sometimes flirty, sometimes business-like or just casual platonic friendly-like.

It was on the 2nd date after I returned to Singapore that we got even intimate. We met in the evening this time and she was sharing with me this business idea she had and we bounced ideas on how it could or could not work, and we talked about cosmic coincidences and found out that Wow! we actually have kinda the same view of the world!

This 2nd date was magic. We talked about a LOT of things and our chemistry was great, we were playfully touchy, until the cafe we were in had to politely chase us out as we stayed there way into their closing time.

Then we decided to walk to this bar downtown which had ladies night. It was actually a quick 30 minute walk, but we kept bumping into interesting things we detoured a bit, took photos, bought stuff, sat down for a bit and talked some more like revealing our intimate life details to each other like best friends.

There was a point our conversations went to the topic of smells and perfumes and I said I only use a certain type of fragrance and immediately she went close to my neck and smelled me.

Then I casually mentioned I had a strained shoulder and neck, she just said, "I could adjust that for you!" So we went somewhere along Singapore river, I sat down, she stood up in front of me, and attempted the chiropractic adjustment. She cradled my head in her hands, but I was too stiff for her to do it, we laughed there, in that pose, and there was a brief intimate gaze into each other's eyes in that moment.

We went to the bar, had a great time, danced like crazy lousy dancers, and finally made out. Whatever repressed feelings of attraction we had was released, but then a million thoughts ran through my head, about how amazing she is, the circumstances of how we met, I felt in love with her, but somehow I cannot imagine, even in that moment of intimacy, having sex with her.

Don't be mistaken. She is fucking beautiful, fragile, brilliant, brave, sweet. But in my screwed up mind or something, in those few hours I was with her, I learned so much about the depth of her personality, I fell in love more with who she is as a human being that it overshadowed and over eclipsed what natural sexual attraction I felt for her, to the point that I don't want to bed her.

I let go of the kiss, and said, "You're fucking amazing, I wanna hang out with you more, but I don't wanna move too fast. I don't want one moment of passion to ruin a potentially great long term thing" I couldn't believe I fucking said that, but it just came out, the truth of what I felt at that moment.

And amazing beautiful soul she was, she took it well, and we just hugged and danced slowly to the music.

We still keep in touch, and will still hang out. From time to time, in this age of prevalent texting, we'll actually call each other and just chat over the phone, bounce ideas, exchange advice, helped each other out with stuff, email stuff to each other.

There were 2 times she said she love me, and I took that she meant that platonically. I understood it that way because in our conversations and also on her social media she kept announcing she wanna focus on her career growth right now and not want to get into any serious committed relationship.

I'm open to further development on this relationship, but I am not that eager or needy to escalate it to something romantic and/or sexual.

Next, to be continued: My German Fraulein Friend.