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  #166  
Old 01-03-2021, 09:48 PM
driedlemon3 driedlemon3 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by itguy2008 View Post
I do miss the emotions. Last time before marriage, she is passionate and she will even initiate sex like inviting me to shower together.

Now.... I hug her, she also say "children at home la" ..... after 10 or 20 times of such rejections.... I just don't feel like asking anymore.
wow your wife is conservative. personally i think display of affection between couple is actually beneficial for the kids.
  #167  
Old 01-03-2021, 10:20 PM
Greenfrog Greenfrog is offline
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Re: bros who are married but eating outside...

Quote:
Originally Posted by fatuncle View Post
Totally agree. Economy is no good but lawyers are still earning big bucks, why donate to them?

Save ur money for FL/ML services.

I've been a monk for don't know how many X years.
We still live under same roof just that not on the same bed. At night she will watch her china shows while I surf my porn or SBF. Usually I will DIY in the living room or toilet. If I am lazy I will do it next to her before I sleep.
We still go out as family for shopping buying household stuff.
The only reason we are not going seperate is because of her religion. Whereas I am doing it for my children's sake.
damn sad to see your reply.

should i ever get married??
  #168  
Old 02-03-2021, 02:22 PM
alleniate alleniate is offline
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Re: bros who are married but eating outside...

I'm 38 and is married to my wife for 17 years.. sex now is almost non-existence.

I do eat outside and its strictly transactional. Like most bros here, I do miss the passion, heart fluttering feeling.. but its just too hard to maintain such a relationship when you have a family which takes up most of your time.

All I can say is one of my biggest regret was getting married. If I can turn back time, I will chose to remain single till I die.

However, one thing I'm sure of is I will never divorce my wife. this is the decision I made and I will see it out till I die.
  #169  
Old 02-03-2021, 02:52 PM
piichai piichai is offline
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Re: bros who are married but eating outside...

Quote:
Originally Posted by alleniate View Post
I'm 38 and is married to my wife for 17 years.. sex now is almost non-existence.

I do eat outside and its strictly transactional. Like most bros here, I do miss the passion, heart fluttering feeling.. but its just too hard to maintain such a relationship when you have a family which takes up most of your time.

All I can say is one of my biggest regret was getting married. If I can turn back time, I will chose to remain single till I die.

However, one thing I'm sure of is I will never divorce my wife. this is the decision I made and I will see it out till I die.
Why hard to maintain a heart fluttering feeling rs?

WHy regret married?

Why never want to divorce your wife? Since u miss the feeling and also regret?
  #170  
Old 02-03-2021, 03:59 PM
alleniate alleniate is offline
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Re: bros who are married but eating outside...

Quote:
Originally Posted by piichai View Post
Why hard to maintain a heart fluttering feeling rs?

WHy regret married?

Why never want to divorce your wife? Since u miss the feeling and also regret?
I don't think there's much love (for me) in the first place. I was young and impulsive and the marriage was more of a responsibility.

Maybe its my pride, maybe its responsibility, maybe its because I don't want to hurt my wife, maybe it's because of our kid. Or maybe because I don't want to be the person at fault.. Divorce has never cross my mind. But I do secretly hope that she find someone better and leave me.. but she's too good a person to do that.

After 17 years of marriage, we are like family members now. Our topics are all functional. I kind of forgotten what it feels like to be in love. I feel dead inside.. I admit I did tried to have a few FWB. But family commitments and the fear of hurting my wife made me end these relationship prematurely.
  #171  
Old 02-03-2021, 06:48 PM
Hunkydunky Hunkydunky is offline
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Re: bros who are married but eating outside...

Quote:
Originally Posted by alleniate View Post
I don't think there's much love (for me) in the first place. I was young and impulsive and the marriage was more of a responsibility.

Maybe its my pride, maybe its responsibility, maybe its because I don't want to hurt my wife, maybe it's because of our kid. Or maybe because I don't want to be the person at fault.. Divorce has never cross my mind. But I do secretly hope that she find someone better and leave me.. but she's too good a person to do that.

After 17 years of marriage, we are like family members now. Our topics are all functional. I kind of forgotten what it feels like to be in love. I feel dead inside.. I admit I did tried to have a few FWB. But family commitments and the fear of hurting my wife made me end these relationship prematurely.
I think many married couples are in such situation... where there is no longer love... but only to live by each day with family members.
  #172  
Old 02-03-2021, 09:47 PM
driedlemon3 driedlemon3 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hunkydunky View Post
I think many married couples are in such situation... where there is no longer love... but only to live by each day with family members.
As humans we crave the excitement of romance, romantic gestures, tender love making. I don't know why there is an Asian mentality that as the marriage progresses all these are unimportant and even being frown upon like as if older couples no need romance? Living as family member devoid of romance kills the tender side of a human, the need to feel alive to feel attractive to your mate.
  #173  
Old 02-03-2021, 10:52 PM
hakone hakone is offline
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Re: bros who are married but eating outside...

Quote:
Originally Posted by alleniate View Post
Maybe its my pride, maybe its responsibility, maybe its because I don't want to hurt my wife, maybe it's because of our kid. Or maybe because I don't want to be the person at fault.. Divorce has never cross my mind. But I do secretly hope that she find someone better and leave me.. but she's too good a person to do that.
How about purposely let her finds out that you ate outside, so she may consider divorcing you, and find her love elsewhere?
  #174  
Old 03-03-2021, 12:05 AM
Rickey Rickey is offline
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Re: bros who are married but eating outside...

Quote:
Originally Posted by driedlemon3 View Post
As humans we crave the excitement of romance, romantic gestures, tender love making. I don't know why there is an Asian mentality that as the marriage progresses all these are unimportant and even being frown upon like as if older couples no need romance? Living as family member devoid of romance kills the tender side of a human, the need to feel alive to feel attractive to your mate.
So well said by sis driedlemon3 ...totally agree with her n love wat she says here word for word ...it's a sad thing but it's so very true n it is happening around us now that is leading to so much trouble in a lot of today's marriages
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  #175  
Old 03-03-2021, 12:09 AM
Rickey Rickey is offline
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Re: bros who are married but eating outside...

Quote:
Originally Posted by hakone View Post
How about purposely let her finds out that you ate outside, so she may consider divorcing you, and find her love elsewhere?
A good suggestion from bro hakone ...the bro shd consider this option if he really means wat he says..it's a win win situation for both he n his wife to get his wife to leave him
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  #176  
Old 03-03-2021, 10:40 AM
Kww8 Kww8 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Toastwich View Post
Looks like it is very common among bros here
Far too common among married men in SG. Either everyone is stressed out from life in SG or just got bored very quickly after marriage and look for outside for some spice in life.

The laws do not help resolve dead bedrooms as well. Eating out is the only real compromise and solution in most cases, even if it is a temporary thing.
  #177  
Old 03-03-2021, 03:34 PM
alec alec is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by itguy2008 View Post
I do miss the emotions. Last time before marriage, she is passionate and she will even initiate sex like inviting me to shower together.

Now.... I hug her, she also say "children at home la" ..... after 10 or 20 times of such rejections.... I just don't feel like asking anymore.
Wah..... I can relate to this soo much!! Makes me wonder are the 1001 reasons common for most wives after birth?
  #178  
Old 03-03-2021, 03:41 PM
thedevil666 thedevil666 is offline
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Re: bros who are married but eating outside...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rickey View Post
A good suggestion from bro hakone ...the bro shd consider this option if he really means wat he says..it's a win win situation for both he n his wife to get his wife to leave him
Quote:
Originally Posted by hakone View Post
How about purposely let her finds out that you ate outside, so she may consider divorcing you, and find her love elsewhere?
I wouldn’t encourage to stage an adultery to let the other party to 死心 (give up) on the marriage. If u reached a point when u know the love is not there anymore, talk about it nicely, afterall we are all adults. If she can’t accept it the first time, go thru a third party that both of u are close with. Some times the third party can talk more sense than u talking to your wife directly. Or even help to mend the relationship.

Discovering an adultery will just lead to fight.

And don’t forget, if your aim is to get a divorce, she can quote adultery in her case. As a husband, u are lose lose. The court alws side the woman in adultery cases. You may be freed from a bad marriage, but u will be burdened financially.
  #179  
Old 03-03-2021, 03:54 PM
alleniate alleniate is offline
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Re: bros who are married but eating outside...

Quote:
Originally Posted by thedevil666 View Post
I wouldn’t encourage to stage an adultery to let the other party to 死心 (give up) on the marriage. If u reached a point when u know the love is not there anymore, talk about it nicely, afterall we are all adults. If she can’t accept it the first time, go thru a third party that both of u are close with. Some times the third party can talk more sense than u talking to your wife directly. Or even help to mend the relationship.

Discovering an adultery will just lead to fight.

And don’t forget, if your aim is to get a divorce, she can quote adultery in her case. As a husband, u are lose lose. The court alws side the woman in adultery cases. You may be freed from a bad marriage, but u will be burdened financially.
I know my wife. She is not the kind who will ask for alimony. But that's beside the point. I don't want to hurt her and the solution I have is acceptance. I accepted the fact that this will be my life.
  #180  
Old 03-03-2021, 04:07 PM
thedevil666 thedevil666 is offline
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Re: bros who are married but eating outside...

Quote:
Originally Posted by alleniate View Post
I know my wife. She is not the kind who will ask for alimony. But that's beside the point. I don't want to hurt her and the solution I have is acceptance. I accepted the fact that this will be my life.
I believe in your situation. Bcos I have been on this boat. In fact, I done it 3 times. Each time my wife have forgave me. The third time, I was more adamant to end it once and for all. I was also quite brazen in my actions on the last time. My calendar have the anniversary dates of me and my lover, our dates, emails have bookings of our hotel staycations etc which my wife have access to, and she read them, but endured it.

She didn’t want to leave me bcos she still loves me a lot. And she considered leaving me, as she believes I would be happier. She went to lawyer for advice also, and she told me she only have 1 request which is the house bcos it has the happy memories and is the only thing we “built” together. She wouldn’t ask one cent from me.

I wanted to just quote adultery in my divorce papers. Just to make the process smoother and faster. But a lady friend from went thru a divorce advise me against so. Bcos of how the law will perceive against me.

Anw, I’m still with my wife and we are continuing building our relationship. I hope yours can be repaired and became better
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